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  1. #11
    maestramommy's Avatar
    maestramommy is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    OMG, that's terrible! I've heard of people not knowing about these spots, but was your kid the first ever in their school to have these spots?? I find that very hard to believe.

    My 2nd two have/had these spots. I canNOT imagine how we'd feel if someone reported us. So sorry

    You know, what I find even more reprehensible than the report, is that they didn't seem to feel bad about it all. I can't believe you had to force and apology out of them. I mean, if *I* didn't know about mongolian spots and mistakenly called DCFS, I would be beyond mortified and totally apologetic to the parents afterwards.
    Last edited by maestramommy; 09-10-2010 at 10:06 PM.
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  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by ehf View Post
    It's a frightening training. I am glad you complained to your school; they need to hear it. I would ALSO complain to your congressman. And any other body you can get ahold of...difference is, I wouldn't complain about the judgment call, but about the air of suspicion that the "mandatory reporters" are being subjected to along with the parents.
    @ehf - you bring up a very good point. I have been doing research and I absolutely support your view. I've read some of the school policies out there including Chicago Public System and they certainly "pressure" teachers/administrators to just report instead of exercising common sense. We had to prove our innocence. System is definitely broken.

    In this case, however, the nurse and an "Asian" principal looked at the situation. As much as I want to fault the system, they have to take much of the responsibility on this one. I'm not so upset with the teacher. while I understand the pressure teachers are under ( we have several friends who are teachers ), I think in all matters, there's personal responsibility. Mistakes can happen. People shouldn't hide behind a system. "If you hurt someone, say you are sorry"

    I will be attending the next school board meeting to bring up this up to minimize such situation. I don't want another parent to go through this in this district over a birthmark or mongolian spots.

    I will also address the points you brought up.

    (1) I want the school to change the student enrollment process so that parents are reminded to note birthmarks and such. The medical form a doctor fills out for school does not have any place to put such information. Our doctor never thought school would report us to DCFS over my daughter's mongolian spots.

    (2) I want the school to send out information to all nurses and administrators in the district about mongolian spots. It still baffles me that a nurse couldn't tell the difference between a real bruise and mongolian spots.

    (3) I want to tell them exactly what you said. There's lot that's wrong about the mandated process. There's lot that's wrong about a system that discourages open communication.

  3. #13
    mom2binsd is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I can't believe you didn't get an apology, or a better explanation as to why they reacted the way they did. If you can turn it into a learning experience for them I think that would be great.

    I remember when I babysat a friends child for the first time, he was still in diapers, and when she was showing me around the apt, she specifically mentioned his Mongolian spots so that I wouldn't panic or worry or think they were bruises, and until that time I had never heard of them.

  4. #14
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    DrSally is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    That is a highly unfortunate mistake. I'm so sorry this happened to you. DD has them pretty prominently. The doctors have commented on it as "awww, isn't that cute" sort of response. Please try to not let it get to you. It reflects nothing on you as a parent, it's about them and their lack of knowledge.

    ETA: I think it's a *great* idea to attend the school board meeting and bring up documenting birthmarks for the school and dissemating info on mongolian spots. Excellent idea.
    Last edited by DrSally; 09-10-2010 at 10:53 PM.
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  5. #15
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I am sorry you and your family had to go through this. How awful.

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  6. #16
    ellies mom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by mongolianspot View Post
    (1) I want the school to change the student enrollment process so that parents are reminded to note birthmarks and such. The medical form a doctor fills out for school does not have any place to put such information. Our doctor never thought school would report us to DCFS over my daughter's mongolian spots.

    (2) I want the school to send out information to all nurses and administrators in the district about mongolian spots. It still baffles me that a nurse couldn't tell the difference between a real bruise and mongolian spots.
    My daughters are bi-racial. They are pretty fair so they have really obvious mongolian spots. I've always worried that someone would mistake them for bruises. I think having the opportunity to document the presence of mongolian spots is an excellent idea. And I'd like to think that anyone who works with kids in even a remotely diverse area would be aware of the concept. I have friends who kids are Black/White (like mine), Mexican/White, East Indian/White and Vietnamese/White and all have mongolian spots, so really it is not that unusual.

    I'm sorry you had to go through that.
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  7. #17
    MamaMolly is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I'm so sorry you went through this! I'm wondering if the no-apology thing has to do with liability? Like if they say they are sorry they are admitting wrong-doing? Not to excuse their behavior, but I'm wondering if it came down the pipe from the school system's legal dept that they aren't allowed to apologize (or if they are just heartless jerks?)
    Molly
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  8. #18
    Dr C is offline Gold level (500+ posts)
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    My initial reaction was to be completely horrified that they A) didn't recognize a mongolian spot and B) reported it without asking any questions, but as I'm reading other posts I realize that a lot of people don't recognize them (and thinking back I don't think I had seen one before I started working a lot with kids of different races), and that the mandatory reporting training discourages people from asking questions. That said, I'm still pretty apalled that they didn't apologize more profusely. I would have been completely mortified if I had put a family through something like that because of my ignorance.

    But in any case... most school and daycare forms have a section for physical exam findings, which includes a section for "skin." It would be very reasonable for parents with kids who have mongolian spots to ask their doctor to specifically note the spots on that form when they fill it out, so that they (hopefully) do not get mistaken as a bruise.
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  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by mongolianspot View Post
    (1) I want the school to change the student enrollment process so that parents are reminded to note birthmarks and such. The medical form a doctor fills out for school does not have any place to put such information. Our doctor never thought school would report us to DCFS over my daughter's mongolian spots.

    (2) I want the school to send out information to all nurses and administrators in the district about mongolian spots. It still baffles me that a nurse couldn't tell the difference between a real bruise and mongolian spots.

    (3) I want to tell them exactly what you said. There's lot that's wrong about the mandated process. There's lot that's wrong about a system that discourages open communication.

    Sorry you had to go through this, but really glad you're going to help the school system move out of ignorance. I think your three points, above, are wonderful.

    The mandated reporting system is a b!tch and they certainly got it VERY wrong in your case. (It must be said, though, that it also saves kids' lives sometimes; I've seen this happen personally.) Perhaps your school district should change their training to include telling mongolian spots from bruises, and maybe send out the information annually (not just once).
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  10. #20
    brittone2 is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    I think a lot of people do not know what they are. However, I think this should be part of staff training for all mandated reporters. There's still a risk someone would report a parent, but if *mandated* reporters were at least more knowledgeable, that would help.

    One of the first things I learned while out on my pediatric internships was what a mongolian spot was, for this very reason. The therapist I was working with wanted to make sure I knew about them because we worked with a diverse population. I had never seen a child with them before that time. I'm thankful she was sure to point it out to me.

    Sorry you went through this What a nightmare.
    Mama to DS-2004
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