Please calm me down, feeling some mixed emotions about new school....

[bubbaray]

Lisa, for you, I really think don't homeschool. You have four kids, including twins, a major move, and you are a primary caretaker for your dad end of life. That is already too much!

Can you frame it to your son as this school/class has learned "different things, different math" etc. than he has learned rather than they are ahead, he is behind. And now he needs to learn the different math but it is going to take some time so don't get upset. Would he accept all of this?

I would also talk to the teacher ASAP and let her know about your concerns. With such a small class size, s/he should be able to deal with it right away.

[ahisma]

You've gotten some great advice, I just wanted to comment on the spelling test. Are you sure that it was a "test". My DD always got her words on Monday, pretest on Tuesday, and real test (for those that didn't test out via pretest) on Friday. Most kids did the Friday test, no stigma or anything. You may well have 4 more nights to work on those words.

[Gena]

Lisa, hugs - you are going through so much right now.

I moved and changed schools in the middle of year when I was 7 (I was in second grade). I'll be honest, it was a really rough transition. The first day I was utterly terrified. In some subjects I was ahead, in others I was behind, and I was very shy and awkward socially. But eventually, I settled in. My teacher discovered my strengths and weaknesses and helped me catch up in the areas where I was behind. And while I was never the most popular kid in class, I developed some solid friendships with other kids who were also a shy and little socially awkward.


Give it time. It was his first day. It's going to take some time for Gator to find his place in this class, both academically and socially. Work with his teacher to see where he needs to catch up and develop a plan to do so at a reasonable pace. Trust your reasons for choosing this school. A conservative Catholic school with true Catholic values is not going to throw a 7 year child to the wolves.

[DrSally]

Hopefully with the small class size they will be willing to work with your family to help him get where he needs to be by setting realistic goals. I'd schedule a conference ASAP and discuss your concerns. They need to find a way to accommodate him where he is for a while, imo.

Beth

ITA with this. It's such a hard time for you. Cut yourself some slack! Tomorrow is another day. You will help him through this.

[gatorsmom]

You've gotten some great advice, I just wanted to comment on the spelling test. Are you sure that it was a "test". My DD always got her words on Monday, pretest on Tuesday, and real test (for those that didn't test out via pretest) on Friday. Most kids did the Friday test, no stigma or anything. You may well have 4 more nights to work on those words.

No, unfortunately, he will be tested on those words tomorrow. For Wednesday he needs to learn myself, gumdrop, setup, cupcake, backpack, upon, and love. For Thursdday he needs to learn endless, softly, sadness, likely, spotless, illness, and school. For Friday he needs to learn gladly, restless, redness, hatless, goodness, gladly, and only.

[tmahanes]

No, unfortunately, he will be tested on those words tomorrow. For Wednesday he needs to learn myself, gumdrop, setup, cupcake, backpack, upon, and love. For Thursdday he needs to learn endless, softly, sadness, likely, spotless, illness, and school. For Friday he needs to learn gladly, restless, redness, hatless, goodness, gladly, and only.

Holy cow...... now admittedly I obviously do not have a school aged DC yet but that seems WAY over the top for a 7 year old. Hugs to the both of you!!! You will get it figured out. I would talk to the school and then go from there.

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[kijip]

Hugs. This sounds hard.

There are a couple of possibilities besides homeschooling:

Switch schools to a place with a 1st grade mor elike he was in.

Perhaps hire a tutor to help him with his homework. You have a ton going on and it can be very hard to teach your own child sometimes even in the best of circumstances. And it sounds like he really needs the school social stuff to thrive. You are under a lot of stress. When my mom was very ill with her cancer and we were being her sole caregivers for a long time, I know I got on a very short fuse with T sometimes. I think it actually really impacted him in the aggregate, as did her whole illness and death, though we have worked past at least the me getting angry with him part of it. Another thing I will say is that I don't think his classmates will refuse to be friends with him because they are a little bit ahead of him in some, and it sounds like limited, academic ways. Kids don't care at that age IMO. If anything I noticed that friendships would form when kids would help their peers learn something.

[SASM]

Hi Lisa!

First off, HUGE HUGE HUGE hugs!! I am soooo sorry to hear about your father. I have a family history with Bladder CA...HUGE HUGE hugs to you and your family.

As for your kidlets, MORE hugs!! I haven't read the responses but I will say that 7 children in Gator's class is a dream! Despite having additional help, my DS struggles with math and spelling...that would be our DREAM environment. Wow...7 kids!! I am not familiar with MN's schools but I will say that in MY state they have really amped up the math and spelling over the last 3 months. I kid you not, DS has been bringing home math word problems that would challenge a college student. Some nights have been quite a struggle. We have just learned to read the signs and step back when we need to. We have also adopted the principle "10 minutes per grade level" as to not burn him out...so he is in 2nd grade and gets 20 minutes of paperwork time per day/max. Reading is additional. We just know his limits. He really had adjusted well as the year progesses. My point is...Gator should adjust well...just give him some time, mama. 7:1 student to teacher is an amazing ratio. Just be vocal with his teacher. Oh...another thing that you can do is make his spelling homework into a game. He SHOULD get a fair amount of exposure to the words in school, though. I was shocked at how many worksheets DS brings home, using the previous spelling words. Something that you are probably already doing but just stay in contact with the teacher.

HUGE HUGE hugs!!! Miss you, girlie!

[gatorsmom]

HUGE HUGE hugs!!! Miss you, girlie!

Right back at ya. Thank you for the kind words. And to everyone else too, they really mean alot.

I sent an email to the teacher and the principal since she has been very hands-on with us. I couldn't spend much time at the school today because of my dad's chemo treatment and a little housework he needed done, but tomorrow I plan to go to the school's all-school mass after I drop the boys off (so Gator will see that I'm there) and I'm hoping that I can pull the principal aside sometime during the day.

Thank you, everyone who posted, for calming me down. I know that we will work through all this with some time, extra personal attention and patience.

[ShanaMama]

You are under a lot of stress. When my mom was very ill with her cancer and we were being her sole caregivers for a long time, I know I got on a very short fuse with T sometimes. I think it actually really impacted him in the aggregate, as did her whole illness and death, though we have worked past at least the me getting angry with him part of it.

Katie makes a good point. He is likely picking up on your stress & the move/ grandpa being sick. Don't forget to give him a little extra slack (no guilt trip intended, just pointing that out in case he starts to misbehave or something.)

Thank you, everyone who posted, for calming me down. I know that we will work through all this with some time, extra personal attention and patience.

I'm glad you are calmer. You really need to give yourself a break, too. You are using so much emotional energy right now that you are bound to be short with the kids.
I agree with all the pp. Talk to the teacher/principal. They should work with you.
And I am completely blown away by the amount of words he needs to learn. In one day??? Is he bringing home all of the spelling lists from the beginning of the year or something? One week is more typical to learn new words IMO, not one day.