how do you decide on which toys to give away or sell?

[brgnmom]

alright, this question should be easy enough, but my DS has been reluctant about giving away and/or selling some of his larger toys. We're moving again and I was hoping to declutter - but as soon as I started going through my son's bins of trucks that he hasn't even played with in the past year, he has decided that he would like to clean them in the sink and play with them again. Lol.

How do you decide on which toys to keep, sell, or donate? my son will be 5 in the summer and I technically should be experienced at this sort of thing, but I tend to give into what my son would like to do - and that is not exactly working in our small apartment. We are moving to another 2-bedroom apartment which will be slightly larger (almost 1200 sq ft, versus the 800ish sq ft we're living in now), but I definitely would like to organize our space better. DD has the bare minimum for baby items - we never used a swing for either DS or DD, and we donated the exersaucer to DH's former co-worker's baby that DS used on the east coast. DD only has the soothing motions glider, crib, co-sleeper and a couple of small toys (sophie, leapfrog stuffed animals). It's all of DS's toys he has collected over the years that is concerning to me. I probably shouldn't get rid of the duplo pieces, wooden blocks, and maybe one or two of the trucks - but he has several larger ones that take up an entire large bin. FIL gave DS most of these things, but I failed to notice them until now.

How do you declutter effectively, and do you ask your DC for his/her/their permission beforehand? Thank you.

P.S. I just realized that my thread might be more appropriately suited for the "Clean Sweep" subforum. Moderators, please feel free to move my thread. My apologies!

[Melaine]

I have done a couple things. I have gone through the toys and sold some very frequently, so they are totally used to it. Also, we rotate toys so that helps. Basically, I will get a pile of toys ready to move out and remind them that we can pull out "new" toys in exchange. Sometimes I will buy a new toy with the proceeds (I always sell on craigslist) or just bring out on old toy that his been in the attic long enough to feel like new. If my kids don't want to get rid of something, I usually say there is too much, so would you rather keep this or this. They can choose without issue.

[turtle12]

my kids are the same way - when there is the thought of a toy being given away/sold, they freak out and want to keep it. i've found the best is to do my purging (donation, sale, etc) when they are out of the house. they never miss the toys.

[MamaMolly]

Lula is looking forward to selling her play kitchen when we move, so that she can buy a new one. What she doesn't know is that the new one is going to be small and have no accessories, because we already have that stuff. She is set on keeping her 'big bear' and that is fine with me, I let her decide on one to keep FIRST, then have her bring me some to sell/get rid of. I also weed out the toys frequently. She has a ton and some of it is pure junk.

She gets new toys fairly regularly, maybe that makes it easier too?

[eh613c]

I don't typically ask DS for his opinion...then again he's only 2. If he hasn't seen it for 6 months, it's out of his mind. Now the person that I have to worry about is DH. He gets very sentimental about all the toys and how he used to play with DS with them. So I just get rid of some toys while he's at work.

[goldenpig]

Well, if it would help, here's the list of "Toys without Staying Power" from Simplicity Parenting:
1. Broken toys
2. Developmentally inappropriate toys--outgrown toys
3. Conceptually "fixed" toys--movie/TV character toys
4. Toys that "do too much" and break easily--complicated electronic toys
5. Very high stimulation toys--flashing lights, sounds, etc.
6. Annoying or offensive toys--noisy, ugly
7. Toys that claim to give your child a developmental edge
8. Toys that you are pressured to buy--fad toys
9. Toys that inspire corrosive play--guns, weapons
10. Toy multiples--keep only the favorite one

I don't necessarily follow this exactly--some of DC's absolute favorite toys would be on this list (like the play cell phone and the ABC "Kiddie Book" with a bunch of buttons to press--those are ALWAYS fought over every time DD & DS get in the car). And the "developmental" toys, we have a lot because we're into Montessori. But it's definitely a starting point to consider.

I've done several purges (we still have way too many toys, but they're pretty organized now). I start with all those plastic crappy toys (from goody bags or happy meals etc), toys/sets/games that are missing pieces, damaged books or ones I don't care for, toys (usually gifts) that are super annoying (the shrieking Elmo, the Lucky Duck game), toys that I never see DC playing with (sometimes there are ones I'm attached to because I picked them out, but they never seem to get played with). Then I try to see how much storage I have for the toys and purge things that don't really fit in those spaces. Like in the living room I bought some sweater boxes and put the toys in those and got rid of the original boxes. In each box I have things like: Magnatiles, unit blocks, Duplo, puppets, doctor stuff, baby doll care stuff, cars/wheeled toys, and "sweets" (tea set, birthday cake and cupcake sets). That doesn't count all the other larger toys like the cardboard block set, Laugh & Learn Home, trampoline, slide, rocking horse, ride on toys, etc. (it's a toy store in our living room!) And I have three more cube bookcases of toys in the playroom.

I've done a few stuffed animal purges with DD--I'll go pretty fast through the pile, hold up an animal and she'll say "Yes" or "No" if she wants to keep it or not. This might not work with some kids who say they want everything, but DD was able to get rid of about 5 stuffed animals each time which is pretty good. Or I'll hold up two similar toys and say "Which one do you want to keep?" (or with the multiples like cars, say "Pick your three favorites.") I think it is good for them to learn some skills in paring down their belongings and also to give them some say in the matter (DD is often attached to certain toys that I would probably have tossed, or doesn't care about other toys that I thought she'd love). But, she also has so many toys that I don't involve her in most of the purging because it would be too overwhelming for her, so I just do little bits with her.

Yes I know, we have way too many toys. The cube bookcase system helps keep things organized though. And I try to do regular purges especially after birthdays and Christmas, to make room for the new toys. Although, I'm not afraid to get rid of some of the new gift toys pretty quickly if they are not working out for us. I try not to feel bad about it, because I give the toys to my nieces, to other moms in my moms club, or donate them to Goodwill so they will get used by other kids.

[brgnmom]

thank you everyone for your ideas and letting me know how you approach the purging of different types of toys.

I handed DS a bag earlier this evening and asked him to pick out some things that he would be alright giving away, and he fortunately managed to pick a few things. They are the smaller items which I don't mind as much. It's the larger trucks that are taking up a lot of space together. We have a smaller cubical system (6 cubes) that has worked well for the smaller toys (legos, trio sets, cars, puzzles, transformers, and misc items like doctor dress-up set and superhero dress-up set), and we have a couple of plastic organizers for trains & tracks that I stack on top of one another. Those can't store the larger items (Little people airport set and trucks), so I've been using extra large fabric bins from the container store iirc. I guess this might be the new normal for kids these days, but I don't recall growing up w/ this many toys. I remember playing with a lego set and a pound puppy. I wasn't really into dolls (just the cabbage patch kid), and I preferred playing w/ my childhood friends outdoors and making clothes for my cabbage patch kid w/ scraps of fabric from my mom's closet.

Thank you goldenpig for the reference to the list of toys w/o staying power. That is really helpful in my efforts to declutter. DS does have some happy meal toys that are probably in some of his bins that I can clear out. And he has way too many stuffed animals which I've collected in an oversized bag. Does anyone know of an organization which will accept stuffed animals? iirc Goodwill doesn't accept stuffed animals, but there was another organization that someone mentioned here which does.

Thank you all again.

[goldenpig]

Here's a list of places to donate stuffed animals:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2129559_dona...kids-need.html

[brgnmom]

Here's a list of places to donate stuffed animals:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2129559_dona...kids-need.html

thank you! That's good to know that the police station may possibly accept stuffed animals. And it's wonderful how SAFE (stuffedanimalsforemergencies.org.) is in the process of trying to figure out a way to bring their donations to Japan.

[sunshine873]

My DD is only 2, but in prep for our move, I tried 3 times to purge her toys with her around. It just doesn't work. Once she sees something, she wants it. So I picked one day where I took anything out of her room that I thought I might get rid of & brought everything into the living room while DH was giving her a bath. He rushed her off to bed in hopes that she wouldn't see much of it & I purged once she was asleep. Everything went into black trash bags so she wouldn't see it.

Maybe it'll be different once she's older, but so far she has plenty of other things, so out of sight...out of mind. Of course I wouldn't take anything that she currently played with or cared about.