WWYD? Comment SIL made about her baby

[jyllebean]

I know the answer is to probably do nothing, but I can't stop thinking about this! Tonight at dinner SIL said this about her daughter. It's her 4th child and last and she is 12 months "Hanna (the baby) crawled tonight for the first time and I am so sad. I need to keep her in her highchair and carseat more so she won't crawl. This is so sad, she can't crawl!"

She is sad because it's her last baby and she doesn't want her to grow up. I feel bad for the baby though because at 12 months she should be crawling and would be if SIL would let her, but instead keeps her strapped down so she can't. There is seriously something wrong with that, right!? I feel like it's hurting her development and I tried to say something, but couldn't really. What would you do?

[ha98ed14]

I have a nut-job-with-4-kids for a SIL too! (And we also live in OC!) Unless you want to create (more?) tension in your relationship with SIL, then I think you are right: the answer is to do nothing. But yes, it's very wrong to purposely retard a child's development because the mother wishes to prolong her own role caring for an infant. Talk about using your kids to meet your own emotional needs! I know a woman in my community who BF'd and CD'd her DS well past what was appropriate because he was her last and she didn't want to give up having a baby. Her identity was very much wrapped up in holistic mothering, and BFing and CDing were a big part of that. While I found it creepy, he did eventually use the toilet and drink out of a cup. Unless your SIL in a real whacko, chances are DN will crawl and then walk without injury. But yes, I find it very sad. If she loves babies so much, she should have a 5th, and let #4 proceed on her own developmental schedule.

[hwin708]

Does your SIL actually keep her child strapped down, though??

It seems more like a wistful, joking kind of comment. And there's nothing wrong with that.

[Uno-Mom]

Does your SIL actually keep her child strapped down, though??

It seems more like a wistful, joking kind of comment. And there's nothing wrong with that.

I wondered that, too. We, too, joked around about discouraging Sprog's gross motor skills. (My big sister walked at NINE months!) We joked because we foresaw how wild it would be dashing after a mobile baby! But we never, ever discouraged her crawling and walking ... quite the opposite.

Still, we only ever joked about that to people who knew we were joking. If someone really did that - yikes. Like PP said, it's probably best not to say anything. If this is truly happening, the trouble runs deep and your saying something wouldn't help. And if by some chance you misunderstood the situation ... well that would complicate life!

I do know that youngests in big families can sometimes develop differently. We met the baby in a family of 8 doting bros and sisses and that kiddo wasn't doing ANYthing for herself... there was always someone to do it for her. (The parents were actually thinking about asking the siblings to back off a little and give baby some growing space.)

[Melanie]

Does your SIL actually keep her child strapped down, though??

It seems more like a wistful, joking kind of comment. And there's nothing wrong with that.

That's what I was thinking.

[TwinFoxes]

Does your SIL actually keep her child strapped down, though??

It seems more like a wistful, joking kind of comment. And there's nothing wrong with that.

exactly. What kind of car seat would she be in? I can't imagine she's in a bucket at that age. Does SIL take their convertible out of the car and strap her in? I would take it with a grain of salt.

[Green_Tea]

Does your SIL actually keep her child strapped down, though??

It seems more like a wistful, joking kind of comment. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Yeah, I think maybe you are misinterpreting the meaning behind the comment, OP. I used to say things like that all the time about my son because as my last child, I just wanted him to stay a baby forever!

[KrisM]

exactly. What kind of car seat would she be in? I can't imagine she's in a bucket at that age. Does SIL take their convertible out of the car and strap her in? I would take it with a grain of salt.

I agree about the comment, but thought I'd add here that DS2 was in a bucket until 20 months. They're pretty big these days!

[TwinFoxes]

I agree about the comment, but thought I'd add here that DS2 was in a bucket until 20 months. They're pretty big these days!

Wow! Did you actually carry him? You're strong.

[Carrots]

Does your SIL actually keep her child strapped down, though??

It seems more like a wistful, joking kind of comment. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Obviously, I wasn't there, but when I read the comment I thought of it as a wistful comment.

(Also, I think if you didn't address the comment at the moment it was said, the time for reacting is kinda' over. JMO.)