I am good friends with a woman (let's call her Lisa). Our kids go to the same school and are friends. I have also gotten to be friends with Michelle, another mother. Michelle is very social. Michelle generally does not invite Lisa to any of our outings, and I don't think they care to hang out socially together. Lisa and Michelle do know each other and are friendly. Lisa said something to me recently that has been bothering me. She told me that I go out of my way to be nice to Michelle, that I am "trying too hard," that I seek Michelle's approval, and that I try too hard to be in Michelle's circle.
I honestly do not think Lisa is jealous. She is very upfront about things and really doesn't care what people think. She is not someone who tries to keep up with the Joneses. She sticks to her guns and beliefs. Which is why this bothers me.
This upsets me very much, and I am not sure what to say. Now it makes me feel self conscious when they are both around at school pickup. It makes me feel like I am supposed to be less friendly and warm to Michelle when Lisa is around. Which I know isn't right. Now it just makes me feel like I am under scrutiny by Lisa, and that any act of niceness from me to Michelle will be viewed as desperate and pathetic.
I feel hurt, and honestly, I just don't know what to say. I know I shouldn't let it bother me or affect how I act in the future, but it does.