I want to un-invite you! and I didn't invite them.

[BeachBum]

We are having a party next weekend. I've invited quite a few families...but all people we really enjoy hanging out with. Except for one "obligation" invite. God I want to un invite them!

I just got an email from the "obligation" family. That said the "XYZ family (her best friend) heard about the party and would really like to be invited". I mean if I wanted to invite them I would have! Don't get me wrong--this isn't high school I didn't invite everyone in the group but them--THEY AREN'T IN MY GROUP. I wonder where they "heard" about the party from.

This is not a regular weekend cookout -- this is one of our themed parties and no I don't want to just add another family....and if I was to invite someone else they aren't even ones that just missed the cut. (Size limitations).

So annoyed. I really wish I could take back the obligation invite in the first place. I really didn't think they would come---I've learned my lesson there! UGH.

Now I just have to respond the email in a nice way, when I really want to say WTF?

[Canna]

Obligation family sounds totally clueless about how to be polite guests. That's totally annoying, but don't feel pressured. Just email back firmly that you are not able to extend any additional invitations and that Unknown Family won't be able to attend the event.

[niccig]

Obligation family sounds totally clueless about how to be polite guests. That's totally annoying, but don't feel pressured. Just email back firmly that you are not able to extend any additional invitations and that Unknown Family won't be able to attend the event.

tell them but you're numbers are firm, and can't include the other family. Don't let them pressure you into including people you don't want there.

[smiles33]

I would be VERY tempted to send a thinly-veiled snarky response. Not sure I'd go through with it, but I definitely would want to send a clearer message that she is way out of line 1) talking about my party to other people who aren't invited and 2) asking me to invite her best friend to MY party.

[hellokitty]

Wow, they are ballsy aren't they? If they haven't been invited yet, I would just say that you only planned for a certain amt of ppl, b/c it is a certain theme, so you cannot accommodate extra guests. I can't believe ppl are rude enough to do something like this... is it a cultural issue? I only ask, b/c I have one friend who has kind of done something like this before to another friend and I think that she was clueless, b/c of the culture she came from.

[Melaine]

Wow!! I can't imagine this happening. How rude. Don't apologize in your response just be very firm and say no.

Although it would be nice if someone taught them how to behave as an adult in polite society.

[ThreeofUs]

I'm in shock that anyone would be that socially inept.

I'd be really tempted to say something snarky, too. Or maybe just, "Sorry, I really can't invite anyone else to my party. But I'm concerned that you've created a situation where UF's feelings will be hurt. You see, we generally don't tell people about parties to which they are not invited, just because peoples' feelings do get hurt that way. I'm sure it would be helpful if you held a party and invited them - perhaps you might want to do so on the same night as my party to ensure they don't feel bad."

*snarl*

[Melaine]

i'm in shock that anyone would be that socially inept.

I'd be really tempted to say something snarky, too. Or maybe just, "sorry, i really can't invite anyone else to my party. But i'm concerned that you've created a situation where uf's feelings will be hurt. You see, we generally don't tell people about parties to which they are not invited, just because peoples' feelings do get hurt that way. I'm sure it would be helpful if you held a party and invited them - perhaps you might want to do so on the same night as my party to ensure they don't feel bad."

*snarl*

[TwinFoxes]

"We've had to limit the number of guests, so we are unable to accommodate the Tagalongs. Let me know if you have to change your RSVP to a "no", we would understand."

[urquie]

Dear obligation friend,
I'm sorry, but that won't work and I totally understand if you can't come.

Eta - I don't like to give reasons why, no room to argue