Birthday Party Inviting Etiquette Please help!

[kellij]

My son's birthday is 12/22. He'll be 7. He wants to have the party at a local spot here that has arcade games and a few rides, it's really geared toward kids his age. It is very pricey. It's $200 for the first 8 kids and then $20/kid after that.

Normally we've always invited a whole class to bday parties and the school says that if you bring the invite to school you have to invite the whole class. I'm sure not everyone would go (planning on 12/17); however, if everyone went along with a few outside friends, it's somewhere around $660, which is obviously ridiculous.

I was thinking about just mailing the invitations to the houses of the kids that he really would like to go, as opposed to the entire class. That's closer to 11 out of his class, rather than 22. I would hate for anyone to get their feelings hurt. However, they are just in first grade and with so much Xmas stuff going on, I don't know that they would notice. My mom, a kindergarten teacher, doesn't think they talk about it much at that age.

WWYD?

(By the way, this is really the only great option at this point. DH doesn't want to have the party at our house and there aren't very many spots that are actually in our town).

[fivi2]

My girls are turning 6 and we had to limit it (they are twins in separate classes) so we are having a girls only party. (obviously you would do boys only!)

It isn't ideal as they are friends with several boys and don't love all the girls, but it was the only "fair" way I could think to limit it. (suggested here most likely!) I do think they talk about it at this age, and my girls definitely wonder why they haven't been invited to some parties.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Once the kids are out of preschool, parties really become less of a whole class thing and just the people the b-day kid wants. So long as ds knew not to brag about or talk about the party to kids he didn't invite, it's totally ok to be selective on the guest list.

Beth

[Pennylane]

Once the kids are out of preschool, parties really become less of a whole class thing and just the people the b-day kid wants. So long as ds knew not to brag about or talk about the party to kids he didn't invite, it's totally ok to be selective on the guest list.

Beth

I agree, I don't think anything is wrong with letting your son choose just a few friends from his class to attend.

Ann

[crl]

I think it is totally fine to be selective. But I would try to invite less than half the class. . . .

Catherine

[ett]

I think it is totally fine to be selective. But I would try to invite less than half the class. . . .

Catherine

I would limit it to 1/4 to 1/3 of the class (if mixed genders) or all boys.

[KrisM]

I think it is totally fine to be selective. But I would try to invite less than half the class. . . .

Catherine

I agree with this. Last year (1st grade), DS1 invited 3 kids from a class of 23. No where near enough that any 1 person should feel specifically left out.

[Globetrotter]

We've done all boys and one girl (the girl was one of ds's BF and played with him and a couple of other boys every day). Generally, all one gender is the way to go, or you can choose a few if it's mixed. If it's under 1/3 of the class, IMO you can invite anyone. This is actually why we usually avoided class parties - too many things to consider! (however, we have a lot of friends outside school)

[kellij]

He's mainly friends with girls, so if any gender he'd prefer we invite all the girls. So we definitely can't do a boy-only party.

[Globetrotter]

He's mainly friends with girls, so if any gender he'd prefer we invite all the girls. So we definitely can't do a boy-only party.

That makes it a little harder. I was thinking about this, and I think it's okay. Kids have to deal with this disappointment. Now if you were excluding 2-3 kids, I would say no way, but half the class is not too bad.