So, I am beginning a job search after 10 years as a stay-at-home mom and have many questions, but right now, I am just focusing on my resume questions.

1. How far back should I list previous jobs and experiences, given that my last regular employment was already 10 years ago? Do things that I did 20 years ago as an undergraduate, like study abroad or winning a speech contest, even belong on my resume anymore?

2. For one particular job, should I list it if there is no person or institutional records to prove i ever had it? This was a tiny non-profit teetering on the edge of closing when I worked there (and became the sole employee about 2 weeks into my employment) so I doubt there are any HR records to review. I have the email of someone who was my de facto supervisor, but what if he never replies to me? If I leave the job off, I have a two year gap in my resume and the last thing I need is more gaps.

3. The job I liked the best and the manager I had the best relationship is from a job 16 years ago. That manager responded to me promptlly via email and is willing to be helpful, but we havent seen each other in 10 years. Should I list her as a reference?

4. And the other issue of references... I don't know who to list from the last 10 years of my SAHM life. I've done contract work for my former job which is on my resume, but that reference is already listed since she was also my previous manager. In terms of volunteer work as a sahm, I've just done a little with our PTO and local MOMS Club . I am listing that stuff, but they hardly read as the most substantive volunteer work around. I cringe to say it, but should I list the PTO president as a reference?

5. I simply have not maintained contact with anyone except my last office. At least I have that, and my manager will give me a good reference, but there is no one else who's even a little current. My co-workers have either retired or disappeared. I was in a short grad school program that did not require an advisor, so I didn't form close relationships with any faculty there. There is someone I worked with/for during a grad school internship, but we had an up-and-down relationship, and I don't know if she'd give me a good recommendation. Should I even ask her and if so, what do I say?

6. Not sure anyone can help me with this, but I am having a really hard time remembering what I did at various jobs, espcially trying to make them action-oriented for a resume. it is so disconcerting.

So, any answers to questions and general commiseration would be appreciated.