What parenting thing do you beat yourself up about?

[BabyBearsMom]

My sister and I were just talking about the expectations society puts on parents and how we obsessively beat ourselves up over it. I thought it might be cathartic to share what we are guilting ourselves over. Mine are:
1. I am breast feeding after reduction so I can't ebf. I feel guilty that a cosmetic surgery means I am dependent on formula (even though I don't think anything is wrong with formula and I know i had my reduction for reasons beyond cosmetic)
2. I woh ft and I prefer it that way. I feel guilty that I don't want to stay home with my girls.
3. I feel guilty for turning DD1's carseat when she turned 2 at DH's pressure even though she had 5lbs and probably 2 or 3 inches to go in her seat.

Okay confession done. What is yours?

[edurnemk]

I feel guilty about having let myself be pressured into weaning DS before we were both ready. DH insisted 6 months was enough and 12 months was crazy, and started pressuring me to switch to formula around 9 months IIRC (and I have a nagging suspicion the IL's were making comments to him about it and that led to him pressuring me more). I finally caved and starting slowly weaning him off some nursings. I did BF at a few feedings until 12 months, but I will never again let myself be pressured like that, DS hated formula and DH kept trying to force him to take it, though I kept telling him "if there's no need to give him formula why make him suffer like that?". It was awful for DS and I.

DD will be nursed until we both want to, PERIOD, I don't care what DH or the IL's deem "appropriate".

[twowhat?]

Playing with my kids. I am so tired that I really just want them to play by themselves most of the time and I make too big of a deal out of it ("please go play by yourselves - Mommy needs to rest"). I'm not a good "play with kids" person - I can do it really well for a few minutes here and there (which might explain why my friends' kids like me so much) but with my own kids, constantly being asked to play just exhausts me. It makes for some serious Mommy guilt and makes me feel abou 20 years older than I really am!

[TxCat]

WOH FT. I like my work, but I'd love to be home full time with DD too.

[AbbysMom]

Definitely the TV! Mine watch too much and always have.

[BigDog]

Definitely the TV! Mine watch too much and always have.

Same here!! You're not alone!

[amldaley]

Definitely the TV! Mine watch too much and always have.

Count me in! We were OBSESSED with not letting DD1 be exposed to TV and then my mom put (then) Noggin on for her and it was all over from there. She is a total TV junkie now and I hate it but weaning her from it is hard.

Also, WOH FT...I was home with DD1 until she was 6 months but returned to work the day DD2 was 6 weeks. I feel like she is getting the short end of the stick on a lot of things.

[ArizonaGirl]

Playing with my kids. I am so tired that I really just want them to play by themselves most of the time and I make too big of a deal out of it ("please go play by yourselves - Mommy needs to rest"). I'm not a good "play with kids" person - I can do it really well for a few minutes here and there (which might explain why my friends' kids like me so much) but with my own kids, constantly being asked to play just exhausts me. It makes for some serious Mommy guilt and makes me feel abou 20 years older than I really am!

I have tremendous guilt about this and now that I am on couch/bed rest it makes me feel that much worse.

[Green_Tea]

I feel really guilty about what my kids eat. All three are fairly picky, but DD2 take the cake - she won't eat cheese, beans, meat (unless it's a hot dog, bacon or sausage), yogurt, milk, any green vegetables or eggs. She doesn't like pizza or chicken nuggets or anything in tomato sauce. Feeding her is a nightmare, and has been for 7 years. The mom of one of her friends called me yesterday to find out what "pepperminty granola bars" my DD was eating at school because her DD wanted her to buy the same ones. When I told her they were Luna bars, the mom could not hide her disgust. She said, after a shocked silence, "Oh. Well maybe I'll buy DD ONE as a special treat." The sad fact is that at the ned of the day, the kid NEEDS the calories. She's a peanut. And she loses her ability to cope when she doesn't get adequate calories.

DD2 has, on more than one occasion, chosen to not eat for several days in a row when she did not like the options available to her. She actually would prefer to starve than eat most foods. She's been like this since birth. But I still feel like it's somehow my fault (most likely because I hear moms trash other parents all. the. time. over what kids eat.)

[lmh2402]

Playing with my kids. I am so tired that I really just want them to play by themselves most of the time and I make too big of a deal out of it ("please go play by yourselves - Mommy needs to rest"). I'm not a good "play with kids" person - I can do it really well for a few minutes here and there (which might explain why my friends' kids like me so much) but with my own kids, constantly being asked to play just exhausts me. It makes for some serious Mommy guilt and makes me feel abou 20 years older than I really am!

i feel this. a lot. i get so exhausted after 15 minutes of playing trains. or cars. again.

i'm also extremely guilty about DS' anxiety and quirkiness and have been feeling a lot like i'm sort of fostering/creating it...b/c i'm so hard on him. i'm so structured. and obsessive. and i think i'm really stressing him out.

i also cannot find a way to stay on top of all the stuff that i should stay on top of - i don't shop all organic, i store food in plastic, i use the microwave to heat things, i don't read labels to avoid hand soaps or shampoos, i've tried to cut sugar back...but we still eat some, etc, etc, etc

i could go on and on...but why... there are a gazillion things i beat myself up over