My mother's day was OK, but everything else, yeesh!
So my mother's day was fine, but the days before and after, I don't even know where to start.
Saturday night during my "mother's day present" (dinner without the kids) DH revealed to me that he might have a (biological) daughter. Who is 17. He started to suspect a year ago when the girl contacted him. But he isn't sure (the girl's mom told him the father was another man, this is like 6 years before I even met DH-but now DH has seen a picture of the girl and thinks she looks like him). I don't even really know how to deal with that right now because it is so surreal so I put it out of my head for mother's day.
Today I had to retract an abstract from a scientific conference I was supposed to present at. One of the collaborators says she didn't see the abstract before it was submitted and she didn't agree to it and I need to retract it. I was not only forced to retract, but I had won a monetary award to attend the meeting that I then had to decline. And I no longer have a reason to attend the meeting. And it reflects poorly on me and my mentor even though I did send the thing to this collaborator she just never responded. She is a witch and is taking things out on my mentor who is not at fault. This is a big deal and I feel completely humiliated.
Also, I have about $60 dollars in my account and at the end of the week I will owe my nanny $600. I think DH can cover it but not sure. At this point I'm worried I'll have to pull money out of my old 401K and going forward we will have to suspend putting into the kids' college accounts for a little while. I feel like going to get my PhD was the worst decision of my life. I've put our family through financial hardship to do it and given up time with my kids. We would have been in better shape financially if I was a SAHM.
Oh and I applied for a job, went through 3 phone interviews, and now it's been a week and I've heard nothing. And I e-mailed the HR person today and she didn't e-mail me back. Not a good sign.
I am at my wit's end. DH let me stay late tonight at school so I can work on my thesis but I've completely wasted the time because I'm so frazzled and upset I can't concentrate. So now I feel guilty about that, too.
Ugh, please tell me something will get better. Sorry just had to unload, I can't keep it in my head anymore.
M, Mom to 3 handsome boys, '06, '08, '11