DS's Fear of loud noises

[swrc00]

DS is 3.5 and has a terrible fear of the shower and dryers. It is the noise of the shower not the water. He can tolerate having his hair dried and has no problem with the clothes dryer.
Today he threw a fit at Costco over the hand dryer. He hadn't even washed his hand and he already started saying that he didn't want to use the dryer.
A few weeks we went throught the car wash. DS got upset over the dryers there. We joked with him and made him laugh. We even had him try to make noises louder than the dryer. Everytime we get in the car DS talks about the carwash and wants to know if we are going there. We have talked about that there is nothing to be afraid of and we won't go through one if it upsets him that much.
DS screams at hearing the word shower. He took one once with DH after hearing a friend of his took showers.
Strangely he has no problem with fireworks, loud music, or the vaccuum cleaner. He can sleep through anything.
Should I just let him grow out of this or is there anything I can do to desensitize him to these things. HELP!

[ha98ed14]

DD was and is the same way. She has outgrown her fear of public toilets flushing by themselves when she stands up, but still remains afraid of the vacuum, hair dryers and hand dryers in public restrooms. I figure she will outgrow it and until then I try to be sensitive to it. Yesterday at Target there were no paper towels, so I dried my hands under the blower while DD stood in the corner hiding (not punishment) and then I had her hold her hands under the dryer and I used my now dried hands to cover her ears. It worked.

He won't always be like this. My attempts to force DD to stay in the presence of loud noises have backfired. If I'd had to walk out of the Target bathroom with wet hands it wouldn't have been the end of the world. My advice is just to go with it. No desensitization is going to be any less traumatic that the noises themselves.

[erosenst]

Be aware that some kids just have very sensitive hearing, and that some frequencies are what set it off. DD is 8, and still has this. I recently talked to a casual friend. Long story, but she recognized some noise avoidance DD was doing that most people wouldn't - because her son (now 25) had/has it too. In his case, it made him able to 'hear' the sound of a ball coming off a tennis racquet - and he was a very competitive tennis player.

Back to DS - you're starting to learn the frequencies that bother him. Rather than making a big deal, my suggestion would be to help him with coping strategies - covering his ears, etc. If the shower is a huge issue, it may mean more baths. If he's having a great day (ie totally rested, feeling well, no behavior issues) try the shower then - he may be able to tolerate it more easily and begin widening the time it's ok.

Unfortunately, it can also change over time. DD's problems with many noises has gone away totally (ie the vacuum cleaner,, unless she is REALLY overtired). However, the noise from a flushing toilet has escalated, and she now refuses to use an automatic toilet. Most public toilets, including those that aren't automatic, aren't usable either. We've seen a therapist. After a few sessions, she suggested that DD is going to either learn she *has* to use them at times, or develop *really* good coping strategies. We're crossing our fingers that as her hearing naturally becomes less sensitive with age, she can use public toilets.

Good luck -