Originally Posted by
Mopey
I think that's the word (not secession)....
My father is planning this with his estate; he just let me know over vacation. He is splitting everything in thirds for my sister and me and our stepmother. I've never really thought about any of this (I don't look at him and see $) but can anyone share what their experience was like? We have to agree to everything and if we don't like it once he's gone we can't do anything about it.
I am happy he's being responsible (we are doing life insurance, wills, asked my sis to take care of Miss Mopey, etc.) but I am just learning he has varied assets and I'm starting to get curious as to how he may split things....
Any info would be greatly appreciated! TIA
I am an estate planning attorney, but I'm not familiar with this concept. Is this some sort of document that your father is proposing you and your sister and stepmother sign to somehow consent to your father's intended disposition of his estate? I guess I don't know what the point is, really, or how enforceable it would be. A PP mentioned a no-contest clause, which is a provision in a Will that says if a beneficiary brings a challenge to the Will, then he or she may forfeit their bequest (most states put limitations on the enforceability of such a provision so that good-faith contests are permitted). That is pretty common.
When you say that you have to agree to everything and when he's gone you can't do anything about it, I guess my response is whatever disposition he elects, once he is gone, you can't really do to much to change it anyway. True, in the absence of specific direction, the Executor has some leeway in determining which assets go where, but the ratios of how the estate is divided are determined by the Will (or revocable trust) or, in the absence of a Will, by the state's intestacy law. You and your sister and stepmother can't willy-nilly override the Will just because you want a different disposition after he dies.
If your father is concerned about friction during the administration of his estate, then maybe a good solution would be for him to name a trusted third party as executor (i.e., someone other than your stepmother or you or your sister). If the estate is large enough, a corporate executor (bank or trust company) could also be an option. Another idea would be for him to provide more specificity in his Will as to which assets go where. For personal assets, I often include a provision in the Will whereby the Executor is instructed to abide by the terms of whatever handwritten memorandum the testator may leave directing the disposition of various personal assets (e.g., "my mother's wedding ring to my granddaughter, Mopey").
Mommy to
DD1 (12/06)
DS (6/08)
DD2 (10/11)