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  1. #1
    ZeeBaby is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Default Financial Responsibility

    My 22 year old DSD is graduating from college in December and I want to have a conversation with DH about her becoming more financially responsible. She currently doesn't have a car or pay any bills. We pay her cell phone bill, she is on our car insurance and her main responsibility the house is dishes. She has a job where she can work 40 hrs a week once she graduates. She will remain on our health insurance when she graduates. She plans to go to graduate school but is taking 2 years off. What do you think is reasonable for her to do.

  2. #2
    niccig is online now Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    She'll be working 40 hours a week? I can assume you want her to save some $$ for grad school?

    I would expect certain amount in rent for utilities/food - it'll still be way less than living on her own or with friends.
    Pay for her own phone.
    Take care of her own laundry, pick up after herself, pitch in with chores (seriously, she only does the dishes? No help with laundry, vacuum cleaning, cleaning bathroom?).
    Leave car with full-tank of gas.
    If she has her own car - pays for it.


    We just had this conversation with friends last night. Their kids are late 20's, still live at home. One now has great job and is saving to move out. Other child they admit isn't hustling as much as she should for a job and say it's probably because she's not paying her own way. They also say she's too picky and not willing to work her way up from the bottom. Not as much motivation to hustle when someone else is paying bills.

    At 22, most of us where paying our own way totally without any help. It's grown-up girl time.

    Oh, and I'm back in grad. school with some early to mid 20 year olds. You can totally see who is personally responsible and who is not.
    Last edited by niccig; 11-04-2012 at 09:50 PM.

  3. #3
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    When I was 22 I paid my own rent and all expenses including my student loans. I applied to grad school at 23 without any financial help. You are very kind to allow her to live with you, and she should know how lucky she is.

    I would expect a 22 year old who works 40 hours a week to be 100% responsible for all her own personal expenses including her cell, all clothes, etc. If she lives with you and uses your car, she should be paying for the insurance for herself, and you should figure out what she owes you for gas weekly. She should do her own laundry and have required weekly chores (she's in charge of the bathrooms, vacuuming and mowing the lawn, for example). If she's eating with you, should should have designated nights that she's responsible for getting the meal on the table.
    Green Tea, mom to three

  4. #4
    niccig is online now Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Green_Tea View Post
    I would expect a 22 year old who works 40 hours a week to be 100% responsible for all her own personal expenses including her cell, all clothes, etc. If she lives with you and uses your car, she should be paying for the insurance for herself, and you should figure out what she owes you for gas weekly. She should do her own laundry and have required weekly chores (she's in charge of the bathrooms, vacuuming and mowing the lawn, for example). If she's eating with you, should should have designated nights that she's responsible for getting the meal on the table.
    Ohh I like having to cook a meal so many nights a week.

    I'd also add that if you go out to dinner as a family, she needs to pitch in for the meal. Drives me batty that DH's sister at 39 still expects MIL to pay for all the family meals.

    If she's working a full-time job, she's going to have enough money to be responsible for her own expenses.

  5. #5
    KrisM is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    I'd work with her to make a budget that includes paying you rent, paying her cell, her car insurance, savings, etc. I'd have her doing her own laundry, cleaning her room, etc. I'd give her a chunk of the household things to do as well, like vacuuming or dusting.
    Kris

  6. #6
    ZeeBaby is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    She does her own laundry and cleans the bathroom that she uses. There is just no regular schedule.

  7. #7
    sweetsue98 is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    What about giving her 6 months to get on her feet and moce into her own place? If she's working 40 hrs per weeks that should get her a place maybe with a roommate to save on cost?

  8. #8
    ZeeBaby is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I brought up a move to her and she didn't really seem interested. Also since she plans to go to graduate school it might not make sense for her to move.

  9. #9
    kellij is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    To me it would depend on how much her salary is. Is she saving money to pay for grad school? Is she motivated and likely to save the money and then spend it on grad school, or will she blow the money and want to mooch off of you for years to come? If she's the latter, I'd be a lot more strict about having her pay for things, etc. If it's the former, I'd cut a break, at least for awhile to see how it's going. I would definitely want her to help around the house more. My sister lived with us for the summer after she graduated and I was pretty irritated because I felt like she add to my work. If she had actually helped more than hurt, I would have felt totally differently. I think it's a great idea if she's in charge of dinner a couple of nights a week, pays for own stuff, etc. I wouldn't have her buy a meal for the entire family at 22 though. But again, I think it's depends on everyone's income. My sister is almost 29 and is trying to be an actress/writer, so she does that stuff, takes classes and waits tables and she lives in LA. My husband is a partner in a law firm in OK (obviously lower cost of living). In my mind it seems obvious that as long as that stays the same she will never pay for the meal. I do appreciate that she always offers though!

  10. #10
    ZeeBaby is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    We pay for all groceries. If she wants to make her own meal she will buy something, but we don't require her to pay for any meals.

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