UPDATE! How do you know if its time to put your dog to sleep? Long.

[sewarsh]

UPDATE:
So here I am looking for more advice. (BTW, so sorry to all of you that had to put your doggies down )

My DH thinks its time to put our dog down. He's fallen a couple of times this week (slips on the hard wood floors), has pooped in the house about 4x this week and he really just seems clueless half the time. We let him out and it almost seems like he's not sure what the heck he's doing out there. We can't just let him out on his own anymore or else he'll wander away. All he does is lay around pretty much all day. He doesn't greet us anymore.

But I'm not sure I'm there yet. He still gets up to eat the baby's food that drops on the ground and he still stares at us when its time to eat. he follows us around probably 25% of the time.

So we both agree that he's going downhill relatively fast. My DH says he's not really enjoying his life now, so why not put him down now and spare him the pain that will inevitably come.

I feel like you can't just put a dog to sleep just because he's clueless and lays around all day - isn't that what getting old is all about? I do agree that he's in pain some of the day, just how much and for how long I do not know.

Thoughts please??? Thx so much for listening/reading.

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Our black lab is 14 years old, yes 14.
He's amazing, best dog ever. Wonderful companion and so patient to our 3 children and a magnificent vacuum for their crumbs as well.

Of most concern is that in the past few weeks he started pooping in the house and it has become more frequent lately. Luckily its just solid poops that are easily picked up but we have 3 children who play on our floors constantly and the youngest of which is crawling. The Vet thinks its dementia - like he's literally forgetting to hold his poop in because the quantity and consistency of it hasn't changed and his spinchter muscle still works properly.

Other concerns:
He's on Rimadyl for arthritis. Has a hard time going up and down steps but manages. However tonight he fell down a couple steps but caught himself.
He's starting to roam when we let him out. Not sure if its because he doesnt hear as well or doesn't care or if its also dementia related. He never really roamed much past our yard or our immediate neighbor's yard, but about 5 days ago he actually wandered about 6 houses down and someone brought him back home.

But here's the thing....he's still so happy, spirits great, goes straight under the high chair during meal times hoping for some scraps, etc. He seems really happy.

I took him to the vet today to see what they said about the pooping issue. I told the vet pretty much what I told you + some more details. I also told him I needed more Rimadyl for his arthritis. He looked in the file and said last time I got a 3 month supply and do I still want that much this time. I asked him if he's inferring something there and then he gave me "the talk".

Basically told me that its not just the quality of the dogs life, but the quality of our life as well and if he's pooping on the same carpet our baby is crawling on thats something to consider. I replied, "How could l ever put a dog to sleep who is happy and has great spirits just because he's pooping in the house every once in awhile?" He said "well, he has arthritis, dementia and now incontinence. How would you describe his quality of life?"

Obviously, I'm very sad. I feel like it would be so much easier if he had cancer and was visibly in pain or stopped eating or couldn't go up stairs, etc. But to me I feel like he's not near there, like his quality of life is pretty decent still. Sure things are harder and he's slower but he doesn't seem like he's ready for his life to end.

So, what do you think? Am i in denial? Is it "time"? If not now, then how will I know?

ETA: Wanted to mention that per the Vet's instructions, we are changing to different (less fiber) dog food, feeding him earlier in the day and walking him at night to ensure he actually poops since a lot of the accidents occur in the middle of the night.

[carolinamama]

I think you have answered your own question for right now - you are not ready and are able/willing to deal with the current issues. If/when it becomes something that decreases his happiness or you get to a point where you feel it just isn't working for your family, you will have to cross that bridge. You have a fabulous vet though for presenting the whole picture and all your alternatives. I'm guessing that many people would have the dog confined if they were incontinent so that probably comes into play in the vet's mind.

We had to put our dog to sleep several years ago when he was 12.5 years old. It was really hard but we did seem to "know" when the time came.

[flashy09]

I don't think he sounds like he needs to be put down just yet. Getting older is not fun for anyone, but it's part of life. I would wait a bit. It doesn't seem to sit right with you either. I would give him as much attention and love as you can for the next 6 months and reevaluate then.

[marymoo86]

I have to put down 2 dogs this year - it is tough.

For both it started with incontinence but went south quickly inside of a couple of months. After the incontinence came the lack of mobility as the body started to shut down. One seemed okay one day although we knew it would be time soon and the very next morning woke up to him panting with difficulty. I doubt he would have survived the day but we took him anyway to help him pass on.

For my girl, she started the same way but I think she was having strokes as she couldn't hardly walk and seemed to walk in circles. She just kept getting worse until she couldn't get up anymore.

I think you will know. If your guy is still happy and physically able to move around then he has some time left. Once that changes you will know when it is time.

My boy was 18 and the girl was 15. Good long lives but still miss them very much.

[AJP]

I posted something very similar a few months ago about our 12 yr old dog. She had similar problems but also had a growth, cushings and was starting to hide out from the family. It was the most difficult decision for us to make and we decided it was time. Her quality of life was suffering and I knew when she wanted no part of my DH or kids that she was experiencing pain and confusion along with everything else. You know your pet best. I didn't see my dog as doing much more than existing the last month and her confusion, wandering, and hiding were nothing like her normal behavior. We made a list of all her favorite things to do and there were very few she would still do willingly.
Huge, huge hugs. It is such a difficult thing to deal with! I can honestly say that a day has not gone by in almost 6 weeks where I haven't cried...I stop and think of her several times a day and our house is so so empty. I do not for one second regret putting her down when we did.

[edurnemk]

All of my dogs have had cancer so it was "easier" to make that decision since their decline was fast and dramatic. But to me it sounds like he's not ready to be put to sleep yet. And you don't sound ready. If he was suffering I'd say maybe it's time, but it doesn't sound like he's suffering at all, is he?

It's a tough decision, but whatever you decide, know that you've given him your best, and he has given you his best for 14 years. I still tear up thinking of the day I had to take my childhood dog to be put to sleep. It's hard and I miss her. But I'm glad I did it because in her case, she was in a lot of pain and I couldn't stand to let her live like that another day.

to you and your family.

[o_mom]

I think you have answered your own question for right now - you are not ready and are able/willing to deal with the current issues. If/when it becomes something that decreases his happiness or you get to a point where you feel it just isn't working for your family, you will have to cross that bridge. You have a fabulous vet though for presenting the whole picture and all your alternatives. I'm guessing that many people would have the dog confined if they were incontinent so that probably comes into play in the vet's mind.

Our lab was similar (though not as perky, but not unhappy). We were willing to deal with her issues for a long time, but we did not have a baby crawling at the time. We did keep her confined at night to our mudroom so that any messes were contained. When it progressed to the point she could not find her way back to the house from the yard (she would get lost in the yard), we knew it was time. It was very hard because there was nothing obvious, no cancer, etc. that said 'now'.

[elephantmeg]

I knew when it was time. It was when I just couldn't handle that level of care AND she wasn't happy. I had been DONE for a couple weeks and then one day she cried all night long and that morning she couldn't walk. And so we let her go. I don't sense that you are there yet. I think that the vet was right to say "this is the beginning of the end" and give you time to process that over the next several months. Hugs to you all as you walk though this. We got a second dog about 4 months before (we looked for several months for the right one at the local SPCA) and that helped hugely. There were still pitter patter steps around and a dog to snuggle with and a dog under the kids' chairs...