No advice, just wanted to note that child lying is so visceral for me. I logically know that there is magical thinking, punishment avoidance, etc, etc. But it so disconcerting - - in particular when they lie well!! I start imagining future wall street fraud, cheating on their SATs etc and I feel my blood pressure rising. It feels like a slap in the face to my top priority for my kids' development. It is an emotional issue for many adults, especially when they have emphasized values education. Even though we know rationally it is a normal part of childhood.
Yeah any kind of discipline with twins is a special challenge. If it's something minor, I say "you will have to work it out with your sister because I didn't see it". By taking me, the parent, completely out of the equation, they often surprise me and do work it out themselves because between the two of them, they know who is lying and who isn't, LOL.
If it's something more major, I still do the "I didn't see it happen" but I make them both participate in the solution. If someone is crying because the other snatched a toy away or whatever (and I make my best guess as to what happened), I lay down the toys and we talk about our rules for sharing. Then I simply say "We have to take turns. DD1, you go first..." But I get that this is hard when they're both crying and screaming at each other...
If I do see it happen, I also don't get into the "are you telling the truth" with them. I simply say (for example): "You hit your sister. Was that the right thing to do?" and then we talk about what should've been done.
Good luck...it's so hard just even grasping to get control of a situation with twins! And they know each other so well that there's an extra level of slyness when it comes to their fighting strategies.
Last edited by twowhat?; 11-30-2012 at 03:19 PM.
5-year-old twin girls
And yeah...DREADING the pre-teen/teenage years! That could be very, very ugly with girls
5-year-old twin girls
Eta : and between the three of us we've covered day care, home schooling, public school, sah, woh, etc...
Last edited by fivi2; 11-30-2012 at 04:19 PM.
I don't have twins but I think you ladies ought to get together and write a book, there are books for almost every conceivable age, sibling dyanmic, etc but the options for twins is lacking (as they age).
You guys could give your wisdom as well as the rest of the BBB's to some other new mama's.