What outcome of this situation would have satisfied you? What "explanation" would have left you in less of a lurch? She is no longer available, for whatever reason. Quite frankly I think it is a huge, almost fantastical, stretch to consider this a moral or religious failing.
The explanation could be ANYTHING, perhaps of an emergency nature, perhaps not. But you don't know and you assume in anger that it must be trivial and irresponsible. No matter what it is, you are not entitled to personal details of her life.
Nannying is a different sort of job, perhaps. It is still, however, very much a JOB and the employees (or would be employees) still very much have the same rights of self determination. If you or your spouse accepted an offer and then had to change your plans due to a health emergency with a child or opted to because of a MUCH better offer/opportunity, would you really take the first job you had accepted anyways? Even if it was way more compensation or if taking the job meant your weren't meeting your family's needs? Being a nanny doesn't mean that the nanny is under an obligation to take a job that, for whatever reason, is no longer the best job for her anymore than you would reasonably expect your previous nanny not to move on for benefits etc. Plans and life change suddenly, sometimes in a day. Give her the benefit of the doubt and focus on what you can do- look for a new nanny.
Moreover, calling and trash talking her is in poor taste and just feeds your anger and negative thoughts about the situation. Calming down and moving on is a healthier way to resolve this. It's better for YOU. Your feedback isn't going to sound all that persuasive to people who have known her for a long time and may know more details than she shared with you or be personally happy she found a a better offer if that is the case.
Last edited by kijip; 12-29-2012 at 04:24 AM.
Katie, mama to a pair of boys.