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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    308

    Default Sturggling with school choice for DS1 and DS2

    Hi:

    DS1 is 3.8 years old and goes to a Montessori school. He has 2 more years left in this school
    DS2 is going to another daycare. He is 15 months old.

    Reason why they go to different school is because Montessori school does not accept infants. It has been a big hassle for us to drop kids off to different schools. It is hard when one of us is traveling. So we have been anxiously waiting for the day when DS2 turns 16 months old so he can go to the same school as DS1.

    DS1 has been going to Montessori school since he was 16 months old. It is an AMI certified school with small class size. We have been pleased with the care he has received over the last 2 years. They potty trained him when he was 17 months old. We like how they teach kids to be independent. We like small class sizes. School cost is $1275 per month for full day. Here are a few things we don't like about this school:
    1. It is closed for 1-2 days every month for teacher training. It is closed for 1 week spring break, it is closed for a week near 4th of July. It is closed for 2 weeks around Christmas. Since both of us work it has always been a challenge for us to find baby sitters.
    2. There has been more turnover in the class DS1 was going to. This school combined his class with another class. As a result of this his class size went from 12 to 20.
    3. We have to provide lunch to DS1. This is a minor inconvenience.
    4. For toddlers they are only open from 8:00 to 5:00 and it has been a challenge to get to school during rush hour.

    DS2
    He goes to a very nice daycare. It costs $2300 per month.
    They are only closed 8 days a year.
    They are open for longer hours every day.
    They provide all food and baby supplies.
    They follow more traditional teacher led training as compared with the child led learning in a Montessori school.


    Until last summer we were 100% sure that DS2 will go to DS1's school. However a few things happened that have given us a reason to pause.

    1. We use a backup nanny service provided to me by my work. We try to get the same nanny every time but it not always possible. They send someone after doing their background checks. We had a nanny take DS1 to a park. I got a call from Police telling me that they had arrested her because she was driving drunk and I had to go to the Police station to pick up DS1. This was a traumatic incident for our entire family. Since that time I have made every effort to take time off or work from home when we have a backup nanny. Since Montessori school is closed for 35 days a year it is not always possible.
    2. DS1 has been refusing to go to school ever since he class was combined with another class. His class has a great teacher but there are 20 students. I don't think she has time to provide enough attention to every kid. This morning DS1 was refusing to go to school. When I asked him why he told me that he did not want to do the number bars. I asked him that he should ask his teacher for help. He said that his teacher has to help other students. I told him that I will buy these bars at home and help him get better. He seemed relieved.
    Last month he was refusing to go to school and it was because he was learning the alphabet. He told us that his teacher asked him to pick a certain letter. He tried to pick up and she told him "nope". He tried 6 different letter and every time she told him "nope".
    His teacher is strict but she has a great reputation.
    I don't want DS1 to fear school or learning.

    Both I and my wife never had problems in going to school. It is hard for me to see DS1 dread going to school.

    We still consider us to be new parents so perhaps we are over reacting.
    We were all set to move DS2 from his school to the Montessori school.
    However this latest incident of DS1 telling us that his teacher does not have time for him has us questioning our decision.

    Montessori school will be cheaper and DS1 did very until his class was closed and combined with another class. We still like Montessori method of learning.

    Other school will be more expensive but a lot more convenient for us as it does not close as often and is open for longer hours.

    We are having a hard time deciding where DS1 and DS2 should go to school. Keeping them in separate school is our least preferred option.

    Let us know if you have any opinions about this.

  2. #2
    Philly Mom is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Feb 2012
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    Given what you have said, assuming you can afford the extra money, I would go to the school for DS2 for both kids. As a working parent without family nearby, I could not do a 5pm pick up ever and would find it stressful and even more stressful to have all those days off. To make it worse, the best parts of the school, have changed and now your DS1 is unhappy. I love that DD loves going to school everyday and loves her teachers and friends. If she didn't, I would be looking for a new place.

    FWIW, I would probably look to see if there is anywhere else other than your first two options as well. Around here, there are lots of programs for kids starting at 18 months that are for working parents.

  3. #3
    TwoBees is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    Jul 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by Philly Mom View Post
    Given what you have said, assuming you can afford the extra money, I would go to the school for DS2 for both kids. As a working parent without family nearby, I could not do a 5pm pick up ever and would find it stressful and even more stressful to have all those days off. To make it worse, the best parts of the school, have changed and now your DS1 is unhappy. I love that DD loves going to school everyday and loves her teachers and friends. If she didn't, I would be looking for a new place.

    FWIW, I would probably look to see if there is anywhere else other than your first two options as well. Around here, there are lots of programs for kids starting at 18 months that are for working parents.


    The fact that school #1 is closed for so many days each year and their opening and closing times would be enough to make me switch.
    Mom to a spirited, red-headed, former 28-weeker 10/2009 and a more mellow monkey 12/2013.

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