Why I regret being a SAHM

[arivecchi]

I think that is oversimplifying. I think it is the readers who take it that direction like so many threads on sensitive topics. If an article gains attention it must be speaking to people for some reason and debate is healthy. I am not where this writer is...but maybe I could be some day, who knows. I like that she raised some questions that aren't always put out there. Look, to me it is clear we are in a period of great transition when it coms to the role of moms in the home, society and the working world. We have women gaining prominence in the work force rapidly and outnumbering men in higher education. Yet there is still the intense pull to be a traditional figure at home (not saying this is wrong!). It is natural that these inner struggles might therefore come up..why can't they be discussed without it being taken as an attack on one choice or another.

I totally agree with your comments. I don't see the article as an attack - just as a reminder to consider all the consequences of the choice. I think the article has already provoked a great debate here which is hopefully helpful to some. All that matters is that one makes a thoughtful decision. As wellyes pointed out, I was actually surprised by the response here. Her comments did not seem that controversial to me since those are basically the things I considered and I did not realize they were almost taboo. It's not an indictment on being a SAHM. She is just stating the reasons why she personally regrets staying in that role for so long while giving up a pretty promising and lucrative career - which is also an important factor here. I think the calculation changes greatly depending on the particular job and the financial picture of the family.

[wellyes]

So you have to work 40 quarters/10 years before you can get what you paid into social security when you worked? So if you worked under 10 yrs, you can't get any of the amount?

My dad worked 8 years in the private sector, 30 in the Federal government (which doesn't pay into SS), and chose to work after retirnig from the gov't for 2 more years to get SS payments.

But once you're in, you're in. SS is for life, and many people do get far more than they contributed.

[niccig]

My dad worked 8 years in the private sector, 30 in the Federal government (which doesn't pay into SS), and chose to work after retirnig from the gov't for 2 more years to get SS payments.

But once you're in, you're in. SS is for life, and many people do get far more than they contributed.

Is it full-time work or part-time? Or doesn't it matter.
Full-time, I don't have that much time, but I have more part-time and will be working once done with grad. school.

[wellyes]

Is it full-time work or part-time? Or doesn't it matter.
Full-time, I don't have that much time, but I have more part-time and will be working once done with grad. school.

Part time is what he's doing. FT would get you more $$ obviously, though.

[niccig]

Part time is what he's doing. FT would get you more $$ obviously, though.

Thanks. I will hit the 10 yrs before retirement age. Would be a shame to have paid in for under 10 yrs and not get any benefit, but I can see why they have a limit on it. DH will have much more than me due to income and number of years working.

[egoldber]

30 in the Federal government (which doesn't pay into SS)

FYI, this is no longer true. Federal employees hired after 1984 pay SS taxes.

You also need to qualify for SS in order to get Medicare Part A benefits for "free".

[egoldber]

Is it full-time work or part-time? Or doesn't it matter.

It's actually a $ value. You earn one credit for each quarter that you earn at least that $ value. In 2013 that number is $1160 per quarter.

http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10072.pdf

[niccig]

FYI, this is no longer true. Federal employees hired after 1984 pay SS taxes.

You also need to qualify for SS in order to get Medicare Part A benefits for "free".

Medicare Part A is linked to SS and you need to work for 10 yrs to get SS? That I didn't know. I just checked and if you have to pay for Part A, it's up to $441 a month. I can see why current retirees would want to get those 10 yrs of work to get the SS and Part A covered.

[niccig]

It's actually a $ value. You earn one credit for each quarter that you earn at least that $ value. In 2013 that number is $1160 per quarter.

http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10072.pdf

Thanks. I'll be working when done with grad school when I'm 42, and I plan to work until retirement, so I'll hit the current requirement for SS. I spent my 20s working in Australia, so I won't have as much work time in the USA. I do have an Australian retirement account from when I got my first job at 15 yrs, so there's other savings too.

[rin]

If you're curious about your benefits, you can go onto the Social Security website (ssa.gov) and check your own account to see what your accumulated benefits are.