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  1. #101
    niccig is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by rin View Post
    If you're curious about your benefits, you can go onto the Social Security website (ssa.gov) and check your own account to see what your accumulated benefits are.
    So I just checked, in 2010, 2011 and 2012, I was working part-time and only have Taxed Medicare Earnings listed (all 3 years my income was over $1200, one year it was $14K), but for the same years, there's 0 under Taxed Social Security Earnings. Did I not earn enough to pay SS tax? I'm not sure if I got credits for those years - i think some years I didn't earn enough per quarter, but I must have the year I earned $14K. I'll have to go back and check my W2s and call HR.
    Last edited by niccig; 06-20-2013 at 11:10 AM.

  2. #102
    janine is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by niccig View Post
    I think anyone saying just go back to work hasn't been looking for a job lately. The employment outlook has changed since I stopped working in 2004. Back then, I did think I could return to work pretty easily when I was ready. Before going back to grad. school in 2011, I did look for jobs in my field and there was NOTHING and there still is nothing out there. I've picked up part-time work from my old employer, but it's not consistent or pays enough. The only reason I got it was I stayed in touch and never burned any bridges. The technology had changed considerably, but as they knew me, they knew I would catch up quickly.
    This.

    One reason I keep hanging on is because I am realizing that once I leave there is a good chance I will never return and this is the end of my working career. That makes me think 2x or 10x about timing.

    Other things that also make think twice abount leaving the workforce sometime soon are the impact to my retirement funds, personal happiness and sense of independence. Of course there are many pros on the other side. I can definitely say I am relieved (only speaking for ME) that I did not give into PP sentiments after DC1 was born (my leave ended in the dead of winter which didnt' help). Things looked so different 6mo's/1year PP than it did at 3 months, and if I had quit then we honestly would have been struggling in an outdated 3bedroom house and another DC compared to where we are now. I had never heard anyone mention this piece before and it actually just luck that I decided to power through ,so it is interesting to read these comments now.

  3. #103
    daisysmom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I keep reading this thread... but I really think that there are just going to be two different sides to this debate and no one is right/wrong... the decision has to be individual for all of them. The people that are WOTH moms (of which I am) are generally glad that they made the choice that they did for financial and other reasons. And the people that are SAHMs are glad that they made the decision they did, for their own reasons. Those who have switched back and forth have a unique perspective too.

    I am not surprised that this piece is being criticized... as it was written as an essay, not a report. Of course she offers her side, she doesn't explain her every point, that is the nature of editorial writing. She's not reporting on someone's experience... it doesn't all have to be factual. She is writing her perspective, and by definition, she can't be wrong about it as it is what she believes.

    The one thing that I think (maybe I am wrong) that we can all agree on is the need for women (or men) leaving the workforce to think through the economics of their decisions, short and long term. Back in the 90s when I first started working, every job that friends took was better than the last one... and getting jobs was relatively easy. Same with real estate... we sold houses the first day that they were on the market and easily made 20% off of that investment. Those decisions didn't take a lot of forethought. But IMO that economy is not going to come back to the US and now thinking through ramifications is critical. I see a lot of women stay working even though they would be happier day to day if they were home with their children. Finding a good day care or school situation becomes critical for working parents. That has taken 100% of any guilt of mine away - as I know that my DD is far happier and learns more in a day of her school programs than she would be at home with me.

  4. #104
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    AnnieW625 is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by egoldber View Post
    ....... I don't have the same regrets the author spoke about, because I was never that into my career and frankly, I'm still not. To me, it's a job and not a passion. I enjoy my work and I find it interesting, but it's nothing I would really miss if I stepped away from it tomorrow. But I feel like my work and the contribution I make to the family finances and by carrying the benefits are important enough to make being in the workforce worthwhile.

    Obviously, many others were more savvy than we were. But I think even smart, educated people can get caught up in the emotions of the early babyhood and not see the full ramifications of stepping out of the workforce for many years.

    Not every point in the article spoke to me. And she's not going to win any literary prizes. I also think it's somewhat disingenuous for her to say she has no choices when clearly she is writing for Huffington Post on an ongoing basis, so she does have a career. But the likelihood of that type of opportunity for most people is pretty small.
    I agree with this 100%. Not every SAHM is going to have this chance and it is fairly slim that someone would be able to write a book, start a blog, and then write for the Huffington Post. I did a google search for the author and found her LinkedIn.com page. She graduated from UCSD in 1979 (according to her profile she only spent 2 yrs. at UCSD so she was pretty smart and graduated from college with a BA in 2 yrs.), she got her MBA from MIT in 1981, and she worked from 1979 (or maybe 1981 if she didn't work while getting an MBA) to 1996. So that puts her at about 54 yrs. old. She is at that typical empty nester age I would think for Yuppies who worked in the early 80s, had their first kids in the mid to late 80s, and then had their final kid in the early to mid 1990s. So I assume that the piece is more of a retrospective now that I have figured out how old she is and now she just wonders what might have been.

    Quote Originally Posted by elektra View Post
    Totally agree with this. One of the main things I took away from this article is that the author felt like she did not run ALL the numbers, and I think that this is probably very common. I know I did not run any extensive numbers when making my decision to either work or stay home. I only looked at childcare costs and salary really.

    I also think that "just going back to work" is so much easier said than done. I am surprised that people are suggesting that it is so simple to do that. In my field, the technology is changing so much that I would not be able to go back, even after just a few years. I would have to get trained in something completely different, and then start over. That is totally doable of course but still daunting IMO, especially when you did not have a plan to do it.
    Especially the bolded part which is one of the main reasons I never left the work force. Even leaving govt. employment for a couple of years could make it really hard to get back in depending on what my job and career path or experience were, and depending on whether or not their is a hiring freeze. Had my DH known there was going to be a hiring freeze from 2002 to July of 2004 when he graduated from college in 2000 he says he would have taken the govt. job that was offered to him. When he was unemployed he took the engineering test for his job maybe a month after he was laid off and ranked a 1 (first people to get hired) and because of the hiring freeze he sat on the list for 18 months. If there had been no hiring freeze things would have been very different for us. I am not a very confident interviewee IMHO so the less I have to interview the better so for me another factor was that as long as I have at least a job I shouldn't have to interview unless I am up for a promotion.
    Last edited by AnnieW625; 06-20-2013 at 11:40 AM.
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    DD L, 13,
    baby 2, 4-2009 (our Tri-18 baby)

  5. #105
    Globetrotter is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I also think that "just going back to work" is so much easier said than done.
    That's for sure. I looked for a few months last year but stopped as there was a series of family crises to deal with and I didn't have the emotional strength or motivation to continue. It's really hard to get back in, though I think I would have eventually gotten something if I had persevered as I was working on a certification in an up and coming area to differentiate myself from the pack. I was shocked that I even got interviews, but I think it helped that I dabbled in it most of the time I was home. If you think you will eventually go back, I think it's important to keep up the skills somehow, even if it's through volunteer work.

    here's another issue that came up for me: As the kids get older and parents are aging, I found I had additional responsibilities and, as a new employee, I wouldn't have the flexibility to take off when I needed to. Whereas my WOHM friends are at that stage in their careers that they can do that and WFH as needed, etc.. It takes time to build that sort of rapport with an employer.

    I was fortunate that I didn't need to go back and, frankly, I no longer want to. I've figured out other ways to use my skills (volunteer work) but these are all issues to consider. In the end I have no regrets as SAH suits me. And like PP said, I didn't think about the practical stuff when I quit - it was a very emotional decision for me.

    I didn't catch the fact that this author has written several books. I think she's trying to get attention for book sales. It doesn't make her points less valid on the whole, but I get the feeling she is trying to spur controversy for publicity sake so I have to wonder if those are all her true feelings.
    "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What? You, too? I thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

  6. #106
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    egoldber is offline Black Diamond level (25,000+ posts)
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    no one is right/wrong
    I guess I don't see it as an issue of right/wrong choice but as just acknowledging the risks along with the benefits of choosing to SAH. And that your perspective on the risk/benefit tradeoff may change as you get older.

    For me, I wish in retrospect I had done some things differently. Even little things like keeping in better touch with former colleagues and supervisors, attending the occasional training classes or conferences, networking a bit, and just generally thinking about what I might do long term. Honestly, I didn't really have a plan and drifted for 8 years without real thought to what my long term goals were about going back to work. So when I had to go back because DH was laid off, my only real choice was to re-enter my old career because I needed to find work full time and fast at a job with decent health care benefits.
    Beth, mom to older DD (8/01) and younger DD (10/06) and always missing Leah (4/22 - 5/1/05)

  7. #107
    sste is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I wish more women had the opportunity to take extended leaves even unpaid. I suspect with 18 months maternity leave more women might return to paying work in some capacity. It is horrible IMO that women often make this decision when they are post partum, hormonal, the baby is tiny, they may be breastfeeding, etc. Run the numbers? I was a CRAZY WOMAN after both births! I am very lucky my job is flexible and I can take as much as a year leave at a time. I don't know what I would have done if I was in an inflexible, fifty hour per week plus job.

    I have become an increasing fan of self-employment, family businesses, etc. At least some of them seem to allow flexibility, particularly if there are many family members involved or a highly sought after consulting field.

    I guess the ultimate question for me is would I want my kids to be SAHPs and I have to say I am very nervous about that. The older I get the more crap I see go wrong in life and time and again I have seen people who are in the workforce or able to get back in quickly have weathered that crap better. I would be hope that they might save extensively prior to SAH (not that that is always realistic but I think first home purchase can influence that), I have thought about emergency trust funds for them, I also hope they choose a career where they can hang out their own shingle so to speak.
    Last edited by sste; 06-20-2013 at 01:24 PM.
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  8. #108
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    maestramommy is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I guess I don't see it as an issue of right/wrong choice but as just acknowledging the risks along with the benefits of choosing to SAH. And that your perspective on the risk/benefit tradeoff may change as you get older.

    For me, I wish in retrospect I had done some things differently. Even little things like keeping in better touch with former colleagues and supervisors, attending the occasional training classes or conferences, networking a bit, and just generally thinking about what I might do long term. Honestly, I didn't really have a plan and drifted for 8 years without real thought to what my long term goals were about going back to work. So when I had to go back because DH was laid off, my only real choice was to re-enter my old career because I needed to find work full time and fast at a job with decent health care benefits.

    I am probably in the similar situation as you were when you were a SAHM. I did realize how much salary and pension I was giving up (though I DID NOT realize that part about SS, so thanks to pp who pointed it out!), but I didn't make any long terms plans, and still haven't. I also couldn't tell you with any exactitude how much I have lost in terms of dollars, by not working, but because my earning power was always so much less than Dh's, it was not really about the money when we decided I would SAH. If it weren't for FB I wouldn't have kept in touch with any of my former colleagues. Even so I'm not sure how helpful that will be since we have moved to the other side of the country where I have no connections. It is one reason why I have joined and socialize (somewhat) with a local network of moms.

    I am sure that if I had a high powered career that earned as much as even Dh we might've thought twice about my quitting, because then at least all of my salary+ wouldn't be going to childcare. As it was, from a financial standpoint it didn't make sense for me to work. And the logistics would've really killed quality of life, something the writer mentioned as a reason she finally quit. Maybe not with one kid, but possibly with 2 and certainly with 3. It's interesting to me that even for someone with her earning power 3 kids was the tipping point. Wasn't there a thread recently about that?
    Last edited by maestramommy; 06-20-2013 at 01:29 PM. Reason: missed quote
    Melinda
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    "Sunset to Twilight, Our Family's Journey with Alzheimer's." http://maestramommi.blogspot.com/




  9. #109
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    Even so I'm not sure how helpful that will be since we have moved to the other side of the country where I have no connections.
    At least you could have the email address or phone number for a reference! It was lucky that I was still trading Christmas cards with my last manager. Otherwise, all my other former managers I had no contact info for! And his reference is what got me my first job.

    There was no Facebook when I was working and I really only had work e-mails for former colleagues, so when they left the company, I completely lost touch with them. We also moved cross country when I was pregnant with older DD (part of the reason I didn't go back to work) so it wasn't like I could just stop by and visit.
    Beth, mom to older DD (8/01) and younger DD (10/06) and always missing Leah (4/22 - 5/1/05)

  10. #110
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    Yeah, I am facebook friends with my last headmistress, and she did actually write a reference for me, since I wanted to have one on hand. Whew!
    Melinda
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    The Gift 10/01/05
    Elfgirl 5/25/07
    Sparky 6/27/09

    "Sunset to Twilight, Our Family's Journey with Alzheimer's." http://maestramommi.blogspot.com/




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