Especially the first. I get that she may never get back to the same career point but I imagine she still has options.
I do agree with hellokitty about how I do wish I made different choices 10 years ago with my career. I only thought about how my job wouldn't cover the cost of childcare. I didn't know or think about working to keep momentum and build a resume (not to mention build savings!).
If I spent all my time focusing on the regrets and should haves, I'd be super miserable. I choose not focus on the things I can't change. I think maybe the author should try that.
I wonder what her kids are thinking if they read this?
Mommy to 2 DS's (2003 and 2007)
Last edited by boltfam; 06-18-2013 at 10:46 PM.
I also understand where she is coming from and IMO she does raise many valid points. I like that she does not regret being a SAHM and the time spent with her children but not having " tried to keep a finger, a toe or a hand in the working world to ease an eventual return." To me this is not a wohm vs. sahm piece, but an eye-opening article on the importance of having a plan before making this decision, whatever that may be.
Not on a whim, but with a plan, not to mention that there are many other job opportunities for folks with investment banking backgrounds. I took five years off after my first child, and it took six months to get another law job when I decided to go back. A lot is possible if you are flexible and persistent. she didn't have a sincere desire to go back, and now she is writing thispiece to stir the "mommy wars" currents and make a name for herself.
5 years is not 20 years. And jobs on trading floors do not go to to those looking for flexibility. I'm sure she's employable, but she'll never get back on the very competitive and VERY lucrative investment banking track she was on.
I don't identify with her piece, but, I am not a particularly ambitious person. I do not think I am her target audience.
DD - 8
DS - 5
I think she makes some good points that a mom should consider before deciding to stay at home. I like her openness. I think we have a lot to learn from each other. I don't regret staying at home, but I do regret not keeping more involved in my career. Going back to work is very intimidating after 10 years of being out of the workforce.
I think two things to keep in mind, one, she lives in Britain, so there may be cultural differences at play, and two, she seems a fair bit older than most of our members if she was reading The Feminine Mystique in 1970. It seems she's looking back in her 50s or 60s. I'm guessing her experiences are different. For example, she says her kids know what a job looked like and she didn't have one. Well, nowadays lots of people telecommute or work from home. Also, today she'd have the chance to make money blogging, or running a startup, or consulting from home once her kids got older, opportunities that didn't exist really 20+ years ago. I guess she trying to caution us, but I feel like saying "I'm not you".
Although I do agree she missed out on a lot of $$$ leaving her job. I do think about my languishing 401k sometimes. But it came with the territory.
Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
6/08 - Preemies no more!