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  1. #1
    OKKiddo's Avatar
    OKKiddo is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Default I have a sick, uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

    DH and I had a date night tonight and when we got home the babysitter informed us that DS1 has his first loose tooth with the new one right behind it. She works at our dentists office too and said she didn't remember seeing that on his x-ray around 5 months ago. I know I did because I took a picture of his x-ray to text to my DH.

    I opened up iPhoto on the laptop to try and find it and while scrolling through I found a "dick pic" of my husband that he obviously took of himself in his study (taken downwards towards the floor and his feet). He was "standing tall" and well trimmed. My heart plummeted and I felt like I was going to throw up. I've mentioned our history about this before and I hate that it immediately all came flooding back as though it were only yesterday. I hate that I doubt him.

    I called out to him and asked him why there was this picture in iPhoto and only a short pause before a high pitched "what?!" followed by his presence next to me to confirm the picture and immediately followed by "I told you about it, I was fooling around with a program to see if I could make it bigger." I wish I could believe him. My radar is picking up on something and I want to tell it to shut the eff up. But I can't just close a blind eye and turn away because now we have three children that could be affected by the fallout of any kind of an affair. There are also reasons I don't believe him and those are: I have a very good memory and even though it's sometimes affected by mommy brain, I don't forget big things (I might forget to mail something but I won't forget something crazy like a dick picture), his high pitched tone had the note of falsehood in it, then the "I told you about it" forcefully reminds me of when he used to tell me "you're crazy/paranoid/it's in your head", and finally the lame excuse that he was playing around with a program.

    I looked straight at him and told him he had to of known what I would think looking at that and he kept telling me "sweetie no, no, I didn't do anything, I wish you wouldn't think that." I want to believe him so badly but I don't. I couldn't even look at him so I went back to the computer to look for that x-ray picture and he told me that he wished I didn't have to go there and I whispered back that I wish he had never gone there so that I didn't have to relive those months of hell over and over again like this.
    Last edited by OKKiddo; 07-29-2013 at 06:54 PM. Reason: avatar

  2. #2
    Fairy's Avatar
    Fairy is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I am so sorry. I don't know your history, but I'm getting the picture. You can choose to either actively begin poking around and looking at bank statements, etc., or you can just sit back and watch his behavior. I would also agree that it's unlikely that you'd forget a picture like that or the specific conversation he says you had about it. That response is the most concerning to me of all. If it were me, I'd look for other things now, but you clearly have other history, here, so I'll simply say that I'm so sorry, and I do hope it amounts to nothing.
    * Charter member of the BBB I Love Brussels Sprouts Society
    * I do not fix my typos. I shuold, but I dodn't.
    * I regret tucking my jeans into my socks with Reebok high-tops well into 1994.

  3. #3
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    I wish I had something helpful to say.

    Catherine

  4. #4
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    I can't give you advice, but just know that we are here for you. Your husband obviously wasn't thinking things through when he took that picture!

  5. #5
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    He sounds like someone who got caught doing something stupid. I'm sorry..
    "Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, "What? You, too? I thought I was the only one." C.S. Lewis

  6. #6
    citymama is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Ugh, I'm so sorry. You must be livid. Can you remind us of what happened last time?

    Did you ask him what he did with the photo? And point-blank, what else he hasn't told you? And then, if he's all high pitched and nervous, get him to commit to therapy - couples and individual? Sounds like he has some serious problems.

    Otoh, if he isn't taking pains to cover his stupidity (or, um, other things), could it be that he really just wanted to admire himself? Sounds implausible even as I write it, but just wondering in case he's super narcissistic.

    Sorry you are having to deal with this (again). Please start taking steps to protect/support yourself emotionally, financially and legally, just in case you find out more.
    for Sandy Hook

  7. #7
    kara97210 is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by crl View Post
    I wish I had something helpful to say.
    I don't know your history, but I was engaged to someone (pre-DH) who cheated on me and know how hard it is to ever truly set that memory aside. I hope for you and your kids that it just dumb, fooling around with the camera/computer. I am a super curious person, so I would definitely look for other signs if I were you.
    Mom to 2
    Wild DS - 2009
    Silly DD - 2011

  8. #8
    Philly Mom is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    I am so sorry. I do think it is possible, especially after all this Weiner stuff, he just decided to take a picture of himself and his reaction was complete embarrassment and not exactly guilt. I am not sure how you can have a calm conversation about it though to get to the bottom given the past history that I surmise. Hugs and strength to you.

  9. #9
    hillview's Avatar
    hillview is online now Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Um yeah my radar would be going off like crazy. I'd ask for his phone and check it. I'd also check the computer pretty well. So so sorry!
    DS #1 Summer 05
    DS #2 Summer 07

  10. #10
    BunnyBee is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Omg. I'd be floored to say the least and there's no history here. I'm so sorry.

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