Whoa! This might be my longest post ever...sorry
DS is 5, and we just moved into a neighborhood with lots of kids in his age range. Several are right on our cul-de-sac and we've hung out a bunch of times already (parents chatting, kids playing outside). They are super nice and it seems like the kids all get along great.
When we looked at the house, we met a boy called G who is exactly DS's age who lives on the next street over. I really enjoyed talking with the mom, she gave me the scoop on the neighborhood, the boys really hit it off and played until it was time for us to go look at the house. We haven't seen them much since moving in, but tonight we walked by and they were out so we stopped to say hi. DS and G immediately took of on their bikes and I chatted with the mom. Another slightly younger boy and his sister were there too, the mom was watching them for a few minutes. I kind of started overhearing the little boy (X) saying mean things geared primarily toward my DS. The boys were all riding bikes and this kid kept saying my DS was slow and the loser, not fast like him and G. Then X's dad showed up and we were all chatting. I see DS looking more and more upset and heard him say "I showed you some speed on that one!" And X said "nah, you showed us some SLOW. You LOST! LOSER!" in a really nasty sounding voice. He's obviously an experienced trash-talker. The dad said nothing. My DS said "oh yeah, you're a weasely wimp!" (Not sure where that came from, maybe a book or something?) I said "we don't talk like that to others" and tried to distract him. We kind of just said good night and left, the other kid followed us then said "I won!" as he passed. I lost it and said "you need to watch your mouth , you're not being very nice and you're saying things that aren't true."
DS and I talked about it after, when he asked why the boy was so mean. The bad news is that this kid will likely be DS's classmate all through school if both are accepted in the Spanish immersion program next year. I know DS will hear this kind of thing on the playground, or in sports, etc. but I was a little unprepared for it today.
So my question is what do I do now. Blow off both boys and concentrate on our cul-de-sac neighbors? Try to set a more formal playdate with G and tell the mom it seemed that the other boy was jealous having to share G's attention and suggest that the playdate be just G and DS? Tell the mom I didn't care for X's talk and attitude (maybe she feels the same and is stuck because they are next-door neighbors)? Just suck it up and let the three boys sort it out? This is new territory for me, with DS getting older and ready for more independent play and having access to so many kids his age in the neighborhood. I guess I need to figure out how to transition from organized "play dates" with a chosen friend to a pack of kids - some we like and some we don't.
Sorry this has become a novel. Thanks for reading this far.