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  1. #1
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Default Having Divorced Parents SUCKS at the Holidays!

    OK, so my parents have been divorced for almost 20 years now.

    We've worked out Christmas usually by figuring we'll see each other when we see each other. Of course, when I was in high school, I didn't travel over Christmas (too little time!) ... and in college, I typically was off for about a month after my last exam, so I had plenty of time to work out when I'd see Mom because I lived at Dad's.

    Since I moved out, the choice was usually simple - head to Dad's and travel with the sibs to Grandma's.

    Now I've got DD. And we travel. So, my usual solution was hosting a pre-Christmas Christmas get-together at my house. I make "Barilla Box Lasagna," serve soda, cocktails, and wine, we all visit, the kids play, and we all go home happy.

    This year, between my Nana dying and Thanksgiving being later in November ... and all the DRAMA with my sister, plus trying to plan around my concert and DH not being willing to commit to hosting ANYTHING (and DH's family pre-Christmas Christmas get-together) we were unable to plan and host one this year.

    Which now leaves me in a logistical lurch because now I won't see Dad without a lot of extra footwork. And he REALLY needs to see the kids at Christmas this year - it'll be his first without his mother (Nana) in 61 years. Having the grandbabies around will help a lot with healing his ripped up soul right now.

    But, damn, it would have been SO much easier to just effing host the effing party!!!
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  2. #2
    MamaMolly is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Hugs, hugs, hugs. And empathy. My addition to your bithch is that it would all be so much more pleasant if my mom and dad would behave themselves. It's bad enough I have to juggle seeing parents and step parents (multiple steps!! ) but I also am supposed to tiptoe around their 20+ year old divorce.
    Molly
    Lula '06 outgrew her allergy to milk & eggs, still allergic to peanuts and cats
    Dolly '10

  3. #3
    MamaMolly is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Oh, and follow your heart in regards to your dad. The rest of them can suck it up this year.
    Molly
    Lula '06 outgrew her allergy to milk & eggs, still allergic to peanuts and cats
    Dolly '10

  4. #4
    karstmama's Avatar
    karstmama is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    any chance of hosting an after christmas get-together? like a pot of chili for late lunch on new year's eve or day? because stressing about travel is not fun.
    mama to j karst, former 25 weeker, 12/06

  5. #5
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaMolly View Post
    Hugs, hugs, hugs. And empathy. My addition to your bithch is that it would all be so much more pleasant if my mom and dad would behave themselves. It's bad enough I have to juggle seeing parents and step parents (multiple steps!! ) but I also am supposed to tiptoe around their 20+ year old divorce.
    Thanks.

    At least they are capable of being civil to each other, but their spouses are a whole 'mother set of neuroses! (My stepfather is just left of Ghengis Khan, while my stepmother expects everyone to be psychic and sulks when she doesn't get her own way. Yeah, no.)

    Quote Originally Posted by karstmama View Post
    any chance of hosting an after christmas get-together? like a pot of chili for late lunch on new year's eve or day? because stressing about travel is not fun.
    That would be lovely, unfortunately, we will be out of town until after New Year's, which is partly how the "Pre-Christmas-Christmas Extravaganza" came about originally. It's somewhat daunting to attempt to organize and host something following a week away! (Even if everyone helped, which they totally would, I just can't visualize it.)

    Thanks so much both of you for the & sympathy, though!
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  6. #6
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    Default

    Yes, yes, it does.

  7. #7
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    OK, so I'm starting to plan a Christmas Day tea party so I can see Dad.

    Menu is light apps and tea.

    Stepmother has now been diagnosed with GERD. Will be posting in food forum for GERD-friendly recipe ideas.
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

  8. #8
    MamaMolly is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    I think stuff that is non acidy. So maybe not hot wings?
    Molly
    Lula '06 outgrew her allergy to milk & eggs, still allergic to peanuts and cats
    Dolly '10

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by lizzywednesday View Post
    OK, so I'm starting to plan a Christmas Day tea party so I can see Dad.

    Menu is light apps and tea.

    Stepmother has now been diagnosed with GERD. Will be posting in food forum for GERD-friendly recipe ideas.
    That'll work. I'm glad you'll get to see your dad. Think bland for your stepmother, no citrus or anything acid-y. I think dairy is good.

  10. #10
    lizzywednesday is offline Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by MamaMolly View Post
    I think stuff that is non acidy. So maybe not hot wings?
    LOL …

    But the question now becomes: are hot wings proper tea party food?
    ==========================================
    Liz
    DD (3/2010)

    "Make mistakes! Get messy!" - Miss Frizzle

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