Baby shower gift etiquette?

[twotimesblue]

One of the moms at my son's preschool is organizing a joint baby shower for 3 of the women in our class who are expecting. I am not close to any of these moms, but I feel like I have to attend.

Anyway, these moms are all expecting 2nd or 3rd kids, all same gender as their previous ones (one is having her 3rd girl, for example). The 'room mom' who's hosting the party at her home hasn't specified what the gift situation is... I always thought the etiquette for 2nd and subsequent kids was more of a 'sprinkle', especially with three moms to buy for, but there are several rich and ostentatious moms in DS's class (see previous 'mean moms' posts!), and I expect most people will bring gifts.

Do I really have to buy three baby gifts? Even though I have barely even said 'hello' to one of the moms who's expecting, and only exchange pleasantries with the other two? Moms 2 and 3 are pretty newly pregnant, too (late first, and early second trimester), while Mom 1 is due next month, so it feels a bit odd to be celebrating them all at the same time. WWYD?

[eagle]

Don't get gifts for any if you don't want to. Just go. If you really feel pressure just go to target and get all three Sophie's with return receipts. The babies will all do well with the rich mums attending. Just go and enjoy the drinks and food. Save your good gifts for the friends you actually care about.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd buy each 1-2 books that your kids loved and call it a day.

[Ceepa]

Knowing the history of your interactions with the moms at the preschool I would decline with a "prior engagement." No way would I want to buy three gifts for random women and spend hours being a seat-filler at the shower, but that's me.

[janine]

I agree, decline politely. Seems like they are all preggo and showering each other and pressuring others in via school association. Not my scene.

[iaam]

I agree, decline politely. Seems like they are all preggo and showering each other and pressuring others in via school association. Not my scene.

This is my vote too. Do you have to go?

[specialp]

Politely decline. There is no reason you have to go. I saved that kind of guilt/pressure for work and family functions where I would truly hear about it later if I do not go.

[Melaine]

I would not go if you aren't close to them. That would be weird, iMO.

[MontrealMum]

Politely decline. There is no reason you have to go. I saved that kind of guilt/pressure for work and family functions where I would truly hear about it later if I do not go.

[belovedgandp]

Totally been invited to one of those before, and I conveniently ended up going out of town that weekend. The original plan was manager hosting shower for first time preggers co-worker. No problem I'm in. I work with this woman every day.

Then she decided to include spouses who were pregnant with their second and third babies. I didn't even work with their husbands or socialize with these women just happened to be in the same office. I was not going to a three way shower fiasco on a perfectly good Saturday.

I did make co-worker a gift and took her to lunch before she had the baby.

Acknowledge the people you want to, but unless you feel tied for life or otherwise extremely guilty, just say no.