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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ceepa View Post
    Knowing the history of your interactions with the moms at the preschool I would decline with a "prior engagement." No way would I want to buy three gifts for random women and spend hours being a seat-filler at the shower, but that's me.
    I have better things to do with my time than go to a party for people I barely know and don't especially like. Hmm, spend time with my family, or be annoyed at a shower...
    Mommy to my wonderful, HEALTHY twin girls
    6/08 - Preemies no more!

  2. #12
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    I would decline, too. If you do go, get inexpensive gifts-- under $10 each. Here are a couple of suggestions:

    Mini Bell Rattle by Maple Landmark Woodcraft http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000JQLNYC/..._3cPttb0Z7483P

    To spend even less, get this set and give each mom one:

    Infantino Baby Bugs by Infantino http://www.amazon.com/dp/B0002I1VJE/..._iePttb0Y2D0E8

  3. #13
    KpbS's Avatar
    KpbS is online now Red Diamond level (10,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinFoxes View Post
    I have better things to do with my time than go to a party for people I barely know and don't especially like. Hmm, spend time with my family, or be annoyed at a shower...
    No way would I go.
    K

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by TwinFoxes View Post
    I have better things to do with my time than go to a party for people I barely know and don't especially like. Hmm, spend time with my family, or be annoyed at a shower...
    I agree! If there are any women with whom you are close, you can take a meal and a small gift after the baby arrives.

  5. #15
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    Another vote for not going.
    SAHM to Pete and Repeat my "Irish Twins" - DD 12/06 and DS 11/07

    Never argue with an idiot. He'll bring you down to his level, then beat you with experience.

  6. #16
    MMMommy is offline Diamond level (5000+ posts)
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    I would politely decline.

    If you do go, I would buy a small gift for all three moms, as the shower is a joint shower honoring all three. If you had never ever met one of them, I can understand not bring that person a gift (though if it were me, I would still bring a small gift for that person). But if all three moms are, at a minimum, acquaintances, I would be sure to bring a small gift for each.
    Mommy to Two DDs
    Member of the BBB I Love Brussels Sprouts Society

    (Why? Because the banana smilie is just so funny)

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by specialp View Post
    Politely decline. There is no reason you have to go. I saved that kind of guilt/pressure for work and family functions where I would truly hear about it later if I do not go.
    DS, Summer '07

    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we’ll change the world." ~Jack Layton

  8. #18
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    Totally been invited to one of those before, and I conveniently ended up going out of town that weekend. The original plan was manager hosting shower for first time preggers co-worker. No problem I'm in. I work with this woman every day.

    Then she decided to include spouses who were pregnant with their second and third babies. I didn't even work with their husbands or socialize with these women just happened to be in the same office. I was not going to a three way shower fiasco on a perfectly good Saturday.

    I did make co-worker a gift and took her to lunch before she had the baby.

    Acknowledge the people you want to, but unless you feel tied for life or otherwise extremely guilty, just say no.

  9. #19
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    If you want to stand any chance of getting to know them at all, I would go and buy the same favorite children's book for each from a local store with a gift receipt. Wrap them in lovely paper and try to get to know them. I think you would feel worse if not invited and I would much prefer a one time joint shower for three pregnant ladies, even if at different points in pregnancy, than a the slow bleed of three showers. I also think every baby deserves to be celebrated and don't think there is a gift grab vibe. If you feel like it is pointless, than no reason not to politely decline.

  10. #20
    TxCat is offline Emerald level (3000+ posts)
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    IIRC, OP was previously frustrated at not being included or invited to activities that all of the other moms were going to/being invited to. Now the issue is that OP isn't sure that she wants to go to the activity that she IS being invited to?? I may be reading the situation incorrectly, but you can't have it both ways - you can't complain about feeling excluded from things but then question the need to attend when you are invited. OP, if you want to see if the social dynamics can improve with these women then I would go, buy a small gift for each (ie, a couple of cute board books for each), and go in with an open mind, prepared to chat and make pleasant small talk. However, if you go to this expecting the worst, prepared to internally roll your eyes at real or perceived slights, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy, and better not to go at all.
    DD1 10/2010
    DD2 8/2013
    And expecting DS1 10/2016

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