If you are not religious, how do you handle religion with your kids?

[janine]

DH and I are Catholic but we are non-practicing or lax at best. We don't go to church, but our kids are baptized. We have not discussed religion with them (they are 2 & 5). Thinking ahead I'm not sure how to handle this. I feel like I should follow through on things like First Communion etc so they can then make the choice themselves at a later age. But then should we start attending church - really no idea how to proceed so they are introduced but not forced but of course don't want to be too hypocritical either.
Any BTDT?

[arivecchi]

We're in the same boat. We're both non-practicing Catholics. We baptized the kids but will not be doing First Communion since we never go to church. They can choose to do that later if they are interested.

[anonomom]

DH and I were both raised Catholic, but are now atheists. Our children are not baptized and will not receive any sacraments unless they decide later on that they want them. We celebrate Christmas and Easter as cultural holidays and have told the children the stories behind them, but we're very clear that we do not believe them to be true. As they grow older, we have also discussed our political and philosophical differences with the church, by way of explaining why we no longer send them to church with their grandparents.

If, when they are older, our kids decide they want to attend a church, we will support them in finding one in which they can feel comfortable.

[Ceepa]

Well I think first you have to decide how big a role, if any, you want religion to play in your family's life. Why did you have DC baptized Catholic? If you did it because there was family pressure or you felt they would be raised Catholic at the time but have no interest now in being a Catholic family then you have your answer as far as proceeding with sacraments. If you want to have a church-based spiritual life then I would start to look for one that seems aligned with your philosophies.

I believe all children should have some exposure to religion whether practicing or only learning about it from a cultural/historical point of view.

If you plan to continue a Catholic upbringing for your children, then yes, you should attend mass and enroll them in religious education classes. Your parish church would have all the information to get things started.

[janine]

Well I think first you have to decide how big a role, if any, you want religion to play in your family's life. Why did you have DC baptized Catholic? If you did it because there was family pressure or you felt they would be raised Catholic at the time but have no interest now in being a Catholic family then you have your answer as far as proceeding with sacraments. If you want to have a church-based spiritual life then I would start to look for one that seems aligned with your philosophies.

I believe all children should have some exposure to religion whether practicing or only learning about it from a cultural/historical point of view.

If you plan to continue a Catholic upbringing for your children, then yes, you should attend mass and enroll them in religious education classes. Your parish church would have all the information to get things started.

Well as said, we are not religious so I won't have a role beyond facilitator and providing some exposure so should they decide to have a more engaged role once older, they will have made the necessary sacrements and at least have awareness. We baptized them for this reason and also for family tradition. The church is not so strict any more, and for good reason. I suppose my struggle is where to find the balance (facilitate but not direct without too much hypocrisy). We haven't had any questions yet from DD's (DD1 is at a presbytarian pre-K), so I also suppose need to figure out how to explain where we stand without exerting influence.

[scrooks]

Following this thread...same boat here. I am an non practicing catholic and dh is a non practicing Presbyterian. We have had dd and ds1 baptized at his family church (ds2 will be soon as well). Beyond that we are very non religious.

[Simon]

I believe children should be exposed to religion whether that means a family regularly practices/adheres to one specific faith, simply discusses or reads at home about different faiths or even visits various different services/rituals. Very few adults, young or old, suddenly decide to start checking out religions on their own. Many people feel intimidated by religion when they know so little about it.

I want our children to have a religious education to serve as a foundation and then to feel free to form their own beliefs. Currently we attend a Christian church but have done UU and considered other options. We also read about and discuss other religions at home. Dh and I do not self-describe as Christian but are very curious/interested in Christianity. I was baptized as a child (Presbyterian), and I imagine Dh was (Catholic family), but we do not participate in communion now and none of our children have been baptized.

[wellyes]

We are UU, which is a religion that allows / encourages exploration and questioning and acceptance of differing views.

For our kids, who are 3 and 6, we have adopted a "yes" policy. I am not going to limit their beliefs. My daughter has mentioned God a few times. I never hem and haw and say "well some people believe in that", I just say "yes, that's great". My 3 year old came home from preschool and SHOCKED me by saying "Isn't it amazing how Jesus lived and died and lived again?" My husband and I are not Christian. We're not even theists. It is not an explicitly religious preschool. But I said, YES, that's amazing. It's true, too. It's an amazing story. I am not worried about any negative influence from learning about a loving diety. I am sure down the road, when it is developmentally appropriate, we'll talk about what different people believe and what we believe. For now, any message from any faith that is about love and acceptance will get a yes from us.

We are not in a homogenous area, though. And our Sunday school at UU explicitly teaches Buddhist and Jewish traditions. We might approach it differently if we were somewhere like Texas/the South where we'd feel like a minority being non-Christians.

[crayonblue]

If, when they are older, our kids decide they want to attend a church, we will support them in finding one in which they can feel comfortable.

I am curious about this. I have never met an atheist/nonChristian who would be ok with any church their child was comfortable in. Bluntly putting it, my atheist friends would NOT be ok with their kids choosing my evangelical church! Very interested about your thoughts.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I am curious about this. I have never met an atheist/nonChristian who would be ok with any church their child was comfortable in. Bluntly putting it, my atheist friends would NOT be ok with their kids choosing my evangelical church! Very interested about your thoughts.

In that example, I too wouldn't be super supportive of an evangelical church either. I admit to not having a great understanding of it but my impression is that they outwardly minister to people and that just doesn't sit well with me. I think religion is personal and I feel like there are many paths a person can take religion wise. I just don't like religions that encourage one to believe and act like they have the best and true answer. Again, I haven't studied world religions and I could be totally wrong. Believe what you prefer but don't try and get others to believe it too. I understand that evangelical Christians would be ministering from a very pure, authentic place but I've encountered a few bad apples that completely turned me off.

So, while I am supportive in a general sense, I do have specific feelings. I haven't spent much time considering all the options. I'll take it as it comes.

To the OP- our kids weren't baptized. They occasionally go to my inlaws' very progressive, Christian church (never sure of the denomination) and have attended VBS there. I was raised Catholic but left in my late teens. Organized religion just isn't for me and I'm pretty agnostic. Feels hypocritical to go to church at all let alone baptize the kids and such.