Do you do a birthday party for your kids every year?

[mommylamb]

I know that there are some real birthday party gurus here, but I'm not one of them. I have to say, I dread planning birthday parties so much. It just seems like a massive waste of money and it stresses me out to no end. Just call me scrooge. DS1 will turn 7 at the end of June and I am already dreading it. I have no idea what we're going to do. I really want to offer to take him and one friend to an amusement park or something and not do a real party thing.

Last year all I did was take him and a few friends miniature golfing. Sounds easy. Except one of the kids totally wouldn't listen and kept finishing before the other and going onto the next hole while the people in front of us were still playing there. He was totally off the wall hyper and really difficult to deal with. DS1 is just not like that so it was a really different from what I'm used to with him. I was so glad when it was over.

We live in a townhouse and it's just not very conducive to hosting something at home. DH and I did that one year, and we swore we wouldn't do that again. I'm also not good at crafts or planning games. I kind of suck at this. DH doesn't even bother. So it's totally on me.

I feel like he's getting too old for a lot of the standard party places. Plus, I just don't want to shell out $400-500 bucks on this. Sorry, but that just seems crazy to me.

I also feel like kids expectations for parties these days are way out of whack and that parents get stuck in the keeping up with the Jones mentality where they feel they have to do it because that's what their kids expect. So far DS2 has just had family only parties where our extended family comes over for lunch and that's it. I really hope we can do that again next year when he turns 3, but already some of the kids in his class have had bigger birthday parties.

Anyway, I know this is a total whine and that I'm looking for someone to tell me it's ok to not do it, and that I might not get that. Whatever. I just want to whine. I hate this stuff.

[Neatfreak]

No, my youngest hasn't actually had a party yet (she turns six this year), and my oldest had parties when she turned five and when she turned seven. She had smaller get-togethers (went out for ice cream sundaes, made/decorated cupcakes) with just a couple of friends when she turned six and nine.

[KpbS]

It's totally ok not to do a party each year! As mine get older, I've loved having a couple of smaller celebrations. For my sister's kids, this is the norm. They only have a traditional party every few years because it's just not in their budget. So she will plan something special for her DC to invite one or two friends along and have treats and that is it. It is far easier to take 3/4 kids to the jump place and then for treats afterwards (this is what we did for DS1 this year) than plan an entire party with invitations, food, favors, decorations, etc. Amusement park, swimming pool, movies, trampoline place, roller skating, are all fun options.

[Melaine]

Good grief, it is OK not to do it. I really think we have to teach our kids what is special. We are the parents, we can make the birthday special. All the hype and fanfare is not necessary IMO. the girls went to a ninjago party a few weeks ago for a boy turning 7 and they ran around the park, "fought" bags of leaves with decorated pool noodles, ate cake and fruit with juice boxes and had a great time. We have never had a venue party but we still have a lot of fun. I do spend a lot of time planning but not a lot of money. But we hang out with a very down to earth crowd so low key parties are very normal in our circle. I'm sorry you feel there is so much pressure, I would hate that.

We had DS's birthday this weekend and we had a nice Easter meal with family, blown up balloons and ate a Costco cake. It was lovely and easy.

[egoldber]

I do something almost every year. Older DD now only has a few friends over for pizza/cake/movie and a sleepover. That's pretty typical for older kids.

At 7, a lot of kids still do "event" parties. But even here they don't have to be that expensive. Tae Kwon Do parties are very popular with kids aged 5-8. That is what younger DD says she wants this year. They are about $200.

Less expensive than that is to do a pool party at one of the Rec Centers. We've done that a couple times. You get a party room for cake and food and then basically unlimited swim time for the kids. At age 7, I would ask for a parent to stay. They don't necessarily have to get in the pool (IMO) because the Rec Centers always have at least 2 lifeguards on duty during open swim. That's about $100-$150 depending on the size of the party room.

Hidden Oaks Nature Center is also very popular: http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/parks/h.../birthdays.htm

There are many other Fairfax County birthday party options too, Lake Accotink, Burke Lake park, : http://www.fairfaxcounty.gov/parks/wp-parties.htm I like the Rec Centers though because they are indoors. Older DD's birthday is in August and we never know if it will be raining or not.

ETA: It is also completely fine not to do it. Or to invite just one friend for a special event. One year older DD wanted to go to Hershey Park, so we did that as a family instead of a party.

[vonfirmath]

I'm not fond of parties either and we CAN"T afford the destination ones. So no we don't have parties every year.

DS had a party for his 1st and for his 5th. PRobably we'll have one this year.

DD hasn't had one yet. I'm trying to see if I could make a combined party this year because their birthdays are 7 days apart and I don't even want to think of doing two!

[HannaAddict]

You don't have to have a party. Up to you and your family. Nobody really cares what your family does, and if it works for you, then go for it and just don't worry about it. People aren't just keeping up with the Joneses, but actually like having parties so that's okay too.

[speo]

I know that there are some real birthday party gurus here, but I'm not one of them. I have to say, I dread planning birthday parties so much. It just seems like a massive waste of money and it stresses me out to no end. Just call me scrooge.

I could have written this word for word!! No, I do not think a party is necessary every year. I think some nice acknowledgement of the birthday is required, but that doesn't have to be a party. For many kids at younger ages, I don't even think they are that valuable to them on a personal level. They don't really seem worth the time, effort, and expense. Your son is getting older so I would think he would personally get something out of it. We always do a big family party (mostly adults). I am used to it now and find them relatively easy. We BBQ and have dessert. It is a good way for everyone to get together. So that is a little why I haven't felt a great need to do lots of kid parties.

DS1 had a party at 4, 7 and now in 2 weeks at 9. DS2 has had one at 5. Two of those were at the park and one at home. This is the first year we are doing a destination party at a laser tag place. DS1 is turning 9 and while I find the cost overly expensive I do think it is worth it at his age. I do not intend to do many (if any) more like this though for him.

I think it is hard when the planner doesn't really enjoy it. Even cheap, easy parties require a lot of thought and are stressful. I don't think kids need a party every year to be happy.

[Philly Mom]

I am struggling with this myself. We have never had a birthday party beyond my parents and us. DD1 will be 3 this year and I think this is the year lots of people have parties. There are only so many places to have a party and her birthday will be last. We have a house that could hold her class and parents but we don't love people in our house like that. I suggested we hire a music person to come to do something to keep things cheaper. DH did not love the idea of people in our house. If it was a nice day the kids could play out back but if not, it would be tight. I find this very stressful. We both work and are not crafty. I just don't have the time for this.

ETA: I actually think DD1 has enjoyed her four person parties of my parents and us more than any party. This year, I think she would like a class party, just not sure if she will get one.

[hellokitty]

I hate throwing bday parties. There are always a few kids who are really hyper and I feel like it can set the tone of the entire party. For my kids, I throw them a kids bday party every 2-3 yrs. HOWEVER, I always offer an alternative, "fun family" day activity. Like going to cedar point or some other day trip, with just our family. Thankfully, my oldes one (he's 10), usually seems to lean in this direction. We did a nerf war party for DS2 last yr for his 8th bday and that actually went over really well, but it was a that martial arts studio, with plenty of padding and room for the kids to run around and run by one of the instructors, so I basically was there just to make sure things went smoothly and to provide food for the kids, etc.. DS3 will be 5 this summer and I know that he will definitely want a party. I'm thinking about doing it some place where there is no limit as to how many ppl can come, so I can invite the entire family, instead of just one child/parent, kwim? I find that family event bday parties to be more enjoyable and the parents are there to keep an eye on their kids. However, I cannot do one at my house, so those are usually at venues. Of course, that also means shelling out $$$.