Do you do a birthday party for your kids every year?

[lizzywednesday]

We had a party when DD was 1.

We brought ice cream to her daycare when she was 2; we also brought ice cream & cake to my brother and SIL's apartment and had a mini-party for the kids after we took their Easter photos.

We did nothing last year, but she has started getting invited to and attending schoolmates' parties and I feel awful not being able to reciprocate. Our house isn't big enough for her whole class (17 3-and-4-year-olds in my narrow townhouse in the northeast, in the winter?) ... and DH hadn't given me the go-ahead to call around to bounce houses or anything while I was willing to plan (in January.)

DH's parents also snowbird in another state, so it is difficult to get him to think about DD's birthday objectively because his parents will always be out of town for it.

Unfortunately, this usually means that DD's birthday goes uncelebrated with MY family as well and I get questions from my family. It's hard to find a balance.

That said, we typically take her for an "experience" - last year, it was shopping; this year, it was the grocery store, but I had wanted to go to Philly.

[wendibird22]

My DDs are 6 and 4 and neither has had a kid party before. We invite grandparents, my brother's family (close by) and my one aunt and uncle (who live close by). If they can all come, great, if not, no biggie. We do a deli platter or hots/hamburgers and cake. I make sure the cake and the plates, cups, napkins are in the theme of the kids choice. My kids enjoy the attention and DH and I are not stressed out or exhausted by the prep and clean up. And we already have so much kid toys/clothes that I can't handle DDs getting friend gifts on top of it. Both DDs have attended friend parties but have never asked me for one so I just roll with what we've always done.

[arivecchi]

We did big parties this year. DS1 was turning 7 and has a lot of new friends from sports and school. He wanted to invite all of them and socially (for him), I thought it was a good idea. DS2 turned 5 which is a pivotal birthday IMO and had enough friends to throw a bigger party as well. We don't plan to do it every year.

What does your DS want to do? That would be key for me.

We just went to a bowling party with 10 kids and that seemed pretty low key.

[elektra]

This year (March) was the very first friends party for us. We did DD's 7th birthday at a bounce house place. I had avoided it previously for basically all the reasons you mentioned!
We also always have family parties with DH's family on at least a monthly basis that we often host and so I just get really partied out. The kids still have a party with family (now combined with at least 1-2 other relatives) but we had never even done a friends party until last month.
DS's birthday is in a week and a half and there was no way I was up for another party. Honestly, I think the parents in his class are probably sick of them too, as it seems like every kid in their class had a party and invited the whole class. With a late spring/early summer birthday towards the end of the school year, I think everyone is just DONE. I know I am.
So we are taking him to Disneyland with just our family instead.

So yes, I think it is fine to not have a party if you are not feeling like it.

I do have to say though, that for DD, hosting the party seemed to open her up to some new friendships and increase her "social confidence". I have never been good at socializing with other parents but hosting the party allowed for a better setting to do so. So in that regard, I am glad we did the party, but I think we may just do something with a few friends next year.

[JenChem]

We've only ever had family parties, of course we have 6 cousins (all boys) around DS's age. But since it's family I usually stake out a park picnic shelter (free) and provide pizza and cake. I have an aunt who always brings me goodie bags lol so I've never had to do those. Pick up some balloons and themed plates and I'm done. DD's first birthday was cake after thanksgiving dinner. This is our first year trying a venue party so we're going to a small local children's museum, but honestly I think they'd prefer a park. It's just that the weather has been so crazy I'm afraid to plan for outside. Also since we're doing a venue I invited some friends plus all the cousins, I hope it works out. But for 3 years we've gone to friend parties without reciprocating and no one seemed to mind.

[westwoodmom04]

We've had a friend party every year for dd, except for her second birthday, and every year for ds since he turned four. I don't particularly like planning parties and have had every single party at a party venue with the exception of the year we took dd and a few friends to an amusement park. Yes, it is more expensive that way, but it is minimal planning -- usually just ordering some snacks and a cake and showing up. My kids really look forward to it. I definitely prefer a day party to a sleepover party. I will gladly stop when they don't want to do it anymore.

That said, not all their friends have big parties every year, I would say about two-thirds of the kids do.

[div_0305]

We have parties every year for the kids because we want to, not because we feel we have to. We really enjoy them, and I'm not shy about reigning in a hyper or misbehaving kid. I usually have a couple of parents I'm close to stay, and they are like me--keeping things under control. I do not have parties at home as I don't have the time or energy for that. My kids love sharing their birthdays with their friends, so that's why we have parties. I think in our area about 2/3 of the kids at school/preschool have friend birthday parties.

[citymama]

Absolutely. Although that's been everything from a playdate with 3 kids to a party at a kids museum with 40 people. Our typical m.o. is 10 kids or so in the backyard or at a playground. I'm terrible at organizing, but we now have a system that works - Costco snacks and fruit, Vietnamese banh mi and cold spring rolls for parents, pizza for kids. Piñata, one activity (craft or games), party's over.

[gatorsmom]

Definitely. I really enjoy planning them and dreaming with the kids about them. It gets our creative juices flowing. This year my older boys are planning to mow a maze into our field to play paintball or lazer tag followed by swimming in our pool. Our goal is always to make the parties as fun for everyone as we can. However, I hate when other people think it is all about competing with the Joneses. I couldn't give a hoot what other people do (or dont do) and am very aware that other people might not have the time or motivation to get as involved as we do. We just do it because we simply want to. And my kids love all parties their friends throw no matter how simple just because they enjoy being with their friends.

I say do what you want.

[mommy111]

Hate parties, we've had very fun family ones at home for the last many years and a treat for school. However, this year a friend of mine thought it fit to rub into the child that she doesn't have birthdays and wouldn't she like one at a party place. I'm probably $500 less because of that. I'm with you on this one