Mom jailed for letting 9 year old play in park

[123LuckyMom]

Have you seen this one?

http://reason.com/blog/2014/07/14/mo...-her-9-year-ol

Here's the text:

Just in case you thought you could parent whatever way you see fit in 2014 America:

A North Augusta mother is in jail after witnesses say she left her nine-year-old daughter at a nearby park, for hours at a time.
Hours at a time? At a park? In the summer? Gosh! That certainly sounds normal and fun like a reason to throw a mom in jail—and place the child in state custody.

Here are the facts: Debra Harrell works at McDonald's in North Augusta, South Carolina. For most of the summer, her daughter had stayed there with her, playing on a laptop that Harrell had scrounged up the money to purchase. (McDonald's has free WiFi.) Sadly, the Harrell home was robbed and the laptop stolen, so the girl asked her mother if she could be dropped off at the park to play instead.

Harrell said yes. She gave her daughter a cell phone. The girl went to the park—a place so popular that at any given time there are about 40 kids frolicking—two days in a row. There were swings, a "splash pad," and shade. On her third day at the park, an adult asked the girl where her mother was. At work, the daughter replied.

The shocked adult called the cops. Authorities declared the girl "abandoned" and proceeded to arrest the mother.

Watch the news: It sounds like Debra Harrell committed a serious, unconscionable crime. The reporter looks ready to burst with contempt. But what are the facts? She let her daughter play at the park for several hours at a time—like we did as kids. She gave her a daughter a phone if she needed to call. Any "danger" was not only theoretical, it was exceedingly unlikely.

But, "What if a man would've come and snatched her?" said a woman interviewed by the TV station.

To which I must ask: In broad daylight? In a crowded park? Just because something happened on Law & Order doesn't mean it's happening all the time in real life. Make "what if?" thinking the basis for an arrest and the cops can collar anyone. "You let your son play in the front yard? What if a man drove up and kidnapped him?" "You let your daughter sleep in her own room? What if a man climbed through the window?" etc.

These fears pop into our brains so easily, they seem almost real. But they're not. Our crime rate today is back to what it was when gas was 29 cents a gallon, according to The Christian Science Monitor. It may feel like kids are in constant danger, but they are as safe (if not safer) than we were when our parents let us enjoy the summer outside, on our own, without fear of being arrested.

But because some busybody thought she knew more about this girl's safety than the girl's own mother, a family has been separated. Harrell is in jail and the child is in the custody of the Department of Social Services. If only the girl had spent her whole summer sitting in McDonald's—surfing the internet and eating a Big Mac instead of playing outside and getting fresh air—this never would have happened.

Lenore Skenazy is a public speaker and creator of the book and blog Free-Range Kids.

[BunnyBee]

I don't think dumping a 9 year old at a park is an appropriate all-day child care solution while you're working. Imagine if all working parents did that. She's not simply playing at a park up the street from her house. The blogger is trolling for advertising hits with a salacious title. I was a latchkey kid starting at 10, but my mom didn't ditch me at a park near her office all day in the summer. It was in the 90s with high humidity in that area last week. I wouldn't want to be stuck alone at a park in that weather. Or ever really, tbh.

[wellyes]

I've seen this a bunch of different places. I think it's a shame.

I also think the woman would not have been charged if she was white.

[123LuckyMom]

Well, the child wasn't dumped. She asked to go. She had a phone. It doesn't say she was far from her mother or that she was there all day. The child was fine. Was she in more danger at the park than home alone or in the McDonald's? The point of the article is, probably not. The truth is that our country lives in a culture of irrational fears while ignoring real dangers. Also, our country should have heavily subsidized if not totally free childcare for working parents like many other first world countries do.

When I was 9, I ran around unsupervised all day and only came home for dinner, and so did all my peers. We didn't have cell phones. I waited in the car while my mother did errands. I went into stores while she waited in the car. Heck, I walked 2 miles into town to get an ice cream with my friends. I rode my bike all over the place and had adventures. I would let my kids do the same if not for fear of the fears of other adults and the potential interference of the police.

Perhaps this woman was neglecting her child. I don't know. The fact that the child was in the park with a cell phone but without adult supervision was enough for someone to call the police, though. I think that's a shame! She was no less safe having fun in the park with an easy way to contact her mother than being alone in a house. I'd certainly rather my child be outside playing than inside watching goodness knows what on tv. Nobody said she was thirsty or hungry or suffering from heat stroke. She was just unattended. That's all.

Unattended should not automatically translate to neglected or abandoned. Sometimes they go together, but not EVERY time. Maybe in this case they did, but it seems like the automatic presumption of most people and the authorities is that children must be watched over and physically with a caretaker at all times or they are in terrible danger. I think they're in greater danger from being constantly hovered over than from testing out some reasonable independence.

[elektra]

I don't think dumping a 9 year old at a park is an appropriate all-day child care solution while you're working. Imagine if all working parents did that. She's not simply playing at a park up the street from her house. The blogger is trolling for advertising hits with a salacious title. I was a latchkey kid starting at 10, but my mom didn't ditch me at a park near her office all day in the summer. It was in the 90s with high humidity in that area last week. I wouldn't want to be stuck alone at a park in that weather. Or ever really, tbh.

But then, what if all parents were arrested for letting their 9 yo's play without a parent present?

I don't think the woman would have been arrested if she was a rich SAHM down the street, just home and not needing to work. I have seen maps and it was a very short walk from the McDonald's to the playground. I heard about it before this blog post was up (haven't clicked on the blog post).

[MamaMolly]

I do see the blogger's point. Speaking only for myself I know I could do better about being a paranoid, anxious mom. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing that with a 9 yo. but we're not there yet and I'm admittedly a recovering helicopter mom.

That said, I fully admit that 'Where is your mom?' is the line I use when a kid is being a PITA, annoying, doing something dangerous, bugging the girls or me, etc and I want to shoo them away in the kindest possible manner. I can't help but wonder if there is more going on in the park than we are reading about.

[AnnieW625]

But then, what if all parents were arrested for letting their 9 yo's play without a parent present?

I don't think the woman would have been arrested if she was a rich SAHM down the street, just home and not needing to work. I have seen maps and it was a very short walk from the McDonald's to the playground......

my thoughts exactly, although I would ask another child where their parent was if they weren't acting appropriately and tell them that if they didn't stop what they were doing I might contact their parent, but I wouldn't get the cops involved unless true violence against another child or adult was taking place.

[wellyes]

I do see the blogger's point. Speaking only for myself I know I could do better about being a paranoid, anxious mom. I don't think I'd be comfortable doing that with a 9 yo. but we're not there yet and I'm admittedly a recovering helicopter mom.

That said, I fully admit that 'Where is your mom?' is the line I use when a kid is being a PITA, annoying, doing something dangerous, bugging the girls or me, etc and I want to shoo them away in the kindest possible manner. I can't help but wonder if there is more going on in the park than we are reading about.

If she was being a pain, she's certainly been punished for it.

Statistically speaking, a child that age without a parent in the park is truly not in danger. I think the standard for removing a child should rest on some genuine risk.

[mommylamb]

I don't think anyone is saying that this is an ideal situation. However, I think it speaks volumes that the amount of money something like this costs society in the criminal justice and foster care systems dwarfs what it would cost for childcare should we decide to prioritize that.

[Melaine]

I am wondering what i would do if we saw a child playing alone at the park for a long period of time. My girls are close to 8....if they made friends with a little girl while we were playing and then said goodbye and somehow realized the little girl was alone I would ask where her parents were. If she said they were at work, I would keep asking questions. Where do they work, how long have you been here? Are you having a good day? When will they come back? I would be reluctant to leave that child, no matter how busy the park is. I don't know if i would call the police but i don't fault the mom who did. If I learned that the mom went to jail I would be beside myself upset. I don't know....I am a helicopter mom for sure.