L, mommy to my one and only, super-sweet boy, G 6/08
I'm pro-big bird, and I vote.
I went off Larig's post (#28 on this thread) that she had been removed until at least September. She had a friend/acquaintance on another board who was raising money for her.
I am glad she's been reunited with her mother. It is awful the mom is in this position if she's a good parent overall. I thought the child had been removed for months, which to me would indicate big issues. I hope the government officials involved review their policies and procedures for removal. I don't like the sometimes seemingly wholesale assumption that DFACS and the police are awful know-nothings. The social workers and officers I know personally work very hard and care about the people in their communities.
I agree. I don't think she should be separated from her mother. But I don't think letting your 9 year old be at the park, even if it is 5 mins away, for 3 days while you're at work, is totally fine. I also agree that affordable childcare is a HUGE problem and it's one I think won't be changed, it costs money and there isn't the political will to spend money on services like this. I wish there were better options for single working parents with minimum wage jobs, and I hope this mum can find some help so she can keep her job and her 9 yo isn't left alone for hours at a public park for day after day.
I completely agree with this.
I'm saddened that a 9 year old girl is forcefully separated from someone who sounds like a caring mother whose major crime is being poor and black. Actually I'm infuriated, not just saddened.
Given incredibly trying circumstances she made what she thought was the best choice. We can dissect it and say she should have done x or y but she had such few choices. I'd be more concerned with leaving a kid with a kindly neighbor (with a weird nephew visiting) than in broad daylight at a space designed for children of this age.
We urgently need reforms to provide adequate support systems to the most vulnerable and reforms that decriminalize poverty.
Last edited by citymama; 07-21-2014 at 11:00 AM.
for Sandy Hook
I live in SoCal so cost of living is high. Our average day camp is probably $80/day and some over $100-$150/day depending on the kind of camps you want. BUT, at the local rec center (I'm sure run by college kids and very basic "summer play" at the park type) offers very cheap alternatives. Trust me, I did a double take myself. I looked again and looking at the cost for a 9 year old, it would be $75 per week from 9-4 and $90 from 9-6. That's the most basic. My point is that cheaper alternatives is out there.
Like I said, growing up poor I understood that I can't do the things my friend did. My mom was a seamstress working in a production factory and guess what I did after school (and I was elementary age)? I went to work with her and sat there and looked at books. I had 1 toy doll and I played with her. I made things up to play with. I understood that we didn't have money and no, my mom isn't going to let me run around for hours unsupervised. Yes, I walked to/from school myself but she expected me back home within 1/2 hour of school ending. If she's a mature 9 year old that the mom felt she's capable of taking care of herself and being safe and street smart, then great. But then again if she's a mature 9 year old, then she should understand the unfortunate financial circumstances of her situation and learn to make do with what she has, even if that meant sitting at McDonalds when she rather be running around. And the girl is very trusting to tell a total stranger that she's alone in the park with no adult supervising her. What if that stranger turned out to be some predator instead of a mom who ended up calling the cops?
If the mom didn't have a computer (my parents never did), then you borrow a friends. Or ask a neighbor.
Again, I don't feel the penalty fits the 'crime" to say the least. What she did wasn't so bad that she deserves to be arrested or have the child taken from her. But it's not something I would do or feel comfortable doing. And maybe because i do live in Los Angeles. But I wouldn't call a mom I didn't know to tell her she can't leave her child alone in the park when obviously she did it by choice. She'll probably just tell me to mind my own business.
Just at DD's school last year, we got 3 reports of suspicious character at the school. I mean you would think kids are fine inside school grounds with teachers and administrators all around and still, we had 3 reports where cops were called. I would definitely not take chances in a public park.
I just read the update and I'm so glad to hear she's reunited with her daughter and have pro bono legal council. They need to help figure out solutions not penalize her such that it makes her situation worse.
BTW, I didn't get the feel from reading the story that the charge was racist such that if she was SAHM caucasion women choosing to allow her child to play unsupervised in a park 5 min away that she would not have gotten arrested. Was there another similar case where the mom didn't get in trouble because she was white?
That's the thing about privilege. There's no case. That's the point! However, this incident did come to mind when I read this thread: http://windsorpeak.com/vbulletin/sho...uot-right-quotWas there another similar case where the mom didn't get in trouble because she was white?
DD - 8
DS - 5
I keep coming back to this thread! I agree with kara97210
"I can't imagine having to choose between this woman's options. And I can't imagine judging her when I have so many advantages she does not. Hopefully this will spurn a conversation about affordable child care in her community and nationally."
I also think it's interesting that people assume that the mother called the police because the child was a nuisance. If your children were playing closely and getting along with a child at a park and you did not see their parent, would you not also ask whom the child was there with? Would you not worry that the child was suppose to be at home while her mother was at work but had gone to the park on her own? Would you be able to live with yourself if you had done nothing and later saw on the news that something awful had happened to this child. I don't think calling 911/DSS etc should have resulted in the mom facing charges but I think it should have resulted in someone following up on this child.
Boo, hiss, McDonalds! They fired the mom, Debra Harrell.
http://grist.org/list/good-news-moth...ign=socialflow
I hope she finds good employment elsewhere. But real classy, McDs.
for Sandy Hook
this is why well meaning people (or not!) should not get involved, as cops are NOT social workers. Their first response/instincts is look at whethers laws were broken, whereas social workers look at the situation from how to connect the dots for resources. so now that mother is in worse off situation, with already being in a hard position with limited options that we (stable, well off families) wouldn't even know to think of, no income to bring in steadily.
a one quick phone call from a stranger had far reaching negative consquences for that poor mother, and this is why this country needs to look seriously at the "well meaning" people or busy bodies. In addition, looking at how we provide child care all across the board too. things needs to change, as we will be seeing more instances like the girl/mother in the news more often. Lastly, foster care isn't all that cracked up as i remember being horrified with some foster families i had as my cases when i was working with children 10 + years ago. so, for all we know that little girl could have been unintentically put in a worse situation by being placed with an iffy foster family.
Mummy to DS1-6/11 and DS2-1/14