Is this puberty?

[carolinacool]

Nothing like not changing a pad in time while in you're in elementary school!

Yes, this was probably the worst thing. To this day, I can remember I was swinging on the monkey bars and someone said I had something on my pants. I whipped up some tale about accidentally sitting in red Kool-Aid (quick thinking for a 10-year-old!).

Kris M., I do understand why you are upset. It wasn't easy being the first. And perhaps I wasn't, but it felt like it. I didn't want to wear a bra in third grade - and I had to. Like I said, I was a B cup. I skipped right over training bras. Plus, I use to get sick the first few years of my period, so that wasn't fun, either. But I came through it OK. I don't remember being teased about having big boobs or anything like, so I avoided that part of it. *hugs*

[KrisM]

Well, I guess I'm going with her actual friends at school, not statistics. I see them fairly often. I know 2-3 girls in DS1's 4th grade class were developed, but not very many at all. He had maybe 12 girls in class and most were definitely not needing anything to cover themselves up. There are a handful overall in his grade that are developing, but maybe 10% or 20%, and they are 2 years older than DD. None of her friends are. She had a sleepover and they all changed and they are all flatter than flat . Here, it seems that 5th grade is more typical.

[JamiMac]

I totally agree with everyone. 8-9 is pretty normal to start developing, and was so when I was little too. It can take several years after that for things to get in full swing.

[DualvansMommy]

OP, I know you're freaking out and not ready. You may just be surprised by your dd, even though she may not be mentally ready. In all honesty, preparation goes a long way in helping your dd to become "ready mentally".

I like Beth's suggestion of not necessarily wearing a bra but more of camisoles with build in tanks. I went to an all girls school, and was one of early developers. I had my first period at 9.5, and 2nd girl in my class to get it. It wasn't the actual period that traumatized me , but huge lack of preparation. My mum avoided having the "talk" for so long that it kind of became too late for me. I would have really appreciated just having a pad in my school bag, as I had it during my swim lesson at school. Talk about social suicide! So if I knew I had a pad in my bag, it would have saved me the embarrassment of asking my teacher who luckily happened to be a female.

That was a bit traumatic for me. So I think if your dd felt prepared and the like, it would be a non issue for her. Also, other pp said the late bloomers had it harder mentally vs. Early bloomers. Since I went to all girls environment, I find that to be quite true. I had a few who didn't get their periods until 15 years old and boy, the worries, drama etc they had till it happened for them.

Be prepared for the other side of the coin; late. Just because you had yours in 5th grade isn't a guarantee she'll be "on time".

[AnnieW625]

Kris, I don't think anyone is laughing at you. In general I think people have been super helpful and have shared their experiences. Lots of hugs though for you and your DD.


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[Green_Tea]

I don't think anyone was laughing at you, and I actually think american_mama gave really strong, practical advice. I think she was chuckling at the way that we all, as parents, spend a great deal of time worrying about things that are largely 100% out of our control.

Breast buds in 3rd grade don't automatically = bra. DD2 has breast buds and is nowhere near needing a bra or even a cami. Puberty is a longish process for girls, and it's not always steady progress. DD2 looks much the same now as she did in March when I noticed that she was showing signs. Her ped indicated that I could expect her periods to start 2-2.5 years after the first signs. As a parent and a teacher I can tell you that there is a BIG range of development among 3-5 graders, and the kids really don't give it a second thought. It's nerve wracking to see in your own kids, of course, but it's really completely normal.

[BunnyBee]

I wouldn't think she would need a bra immediately. My DD was fine with just a tank top or cami. It's been 2 years. My DD is now over 5ft and 100lbs and still doesn't need a structured bra. (And no cycle yet either.) The buds have sort of ebbed and flowed in being noticeable, but only in a thin, clingy top. Hence the cami or tank top. The tshirts seem made to be layered right now anyway! You'll be surprised by how fast the changes happen in the other girls too. The ones who are flat as a board can pop up overnight. Huge difference in the swim party at the beginning of the school year in 4th and the end!

[squimp]

I love the AG Care and Keeping of You book. I gave it to my DD when she was 6 or 7 and we keep referring to it over the years. She is kind of embarrassed to bring things up but will put a bookmark in the book and give it to me as a start to the discussion. So I highly recommend it to start the education if you need some help, I know I did! I made up a little box of bras and pads and deodorant for her keep in her bathroom and explore in private, but I showed her everything in the box and talked about it. It was painful but like ripping off a bandaid, we just do it.

My DD had buds at age 9 but really didn't need an actual bra until she was 10.5. She wore loose tops and really didn't want or need one until it started affecting her running, lol. Before that, camisole or tanks from Hanna or ON worked well.

[mom2binsd]

I will tell you that I think that lots of advance preparation really makes a difference how your DD will handle things. We talked a lot about body changes, and DD was ahead of most of her peers in many ways, which she found a little upsetting but she's fine. When her actual period arrived last week, she was with XH, she called me to tell me, and was not happy with the Tween pads we had packed in her bag...they are even too wide/big....so she and XH took a trip to Walgreens for panty liners...would have loved to have seen that shopping trip!!! She was also very open about using tampons right away, she's on swim team, and it was the last week of the season with a big meet, so not an option to skip. She is very open with me, and had me stay with her (and she used a mirror to guide the tampon..sorry if TMI but it was very helpful to her). I demonstrated with a tampon first how to push the plunger (we got the Playtex sport plastic light ones)...and she was able to examine and get the idea before actually inserting). She did great on her first try without much discomfort at all. So as much as I wasn't ready for her to start her period, she was ready and she did great. Knowledge is very important and now she is apparently the go to girl for all her friends and apparently offered to help them all when they get theirs!!!!

[KrisM]

No, she doesn't need a bra or anything now. It's just a smallish lump underneath one nipple. She generally walks around the house in just underwear, so easy enough to see. Hopefully, it all just takes some time.