Neighborhood kid WWYD

[hillview]

Neighborhood kid (NK) who is 9 was out playing with my kids and 2 other kids (also 9). NK is a known issue here -- history of him and his parents being a problem. All the kids were playing on a different neighbor's playset and I told them to get off. NK said "you're stupid" to me under his breath but everyone heard it. After some deep breaths I called for him and told him it was not at all acceptable and told him he had to apologize which he did. He then apparently continued to badmouth me to the other kids.

So wwyd?

I am guessing leave it as is?

[HannaAddict]

He apologized for what you heard. I don't think I would do anything about what other kids said he may have done.

[AnnieW625]

Talk to his parents.

[lalasmama]

I don't think there's much more you can do... You state NK's parents are also a known problem, which makes me think his parents aren't going to do anything about it even if you talked with them about it.

As far as playing on another neighbor's playset, where the neighbors home? If they weren't, I'd let them know that NK and your kids were there playing, and make sure that's okay... But, I wouldn't let my DC play there if no one is home, as I always wonder what would happen if DC fell, broke an arm, if the playset fell and injured DD, etc., and if home insurance would cover injuries if the owners weren't home, and the kids weren't there with the owner's approval.

That being said, I would try to (severely) limit my DC's time with NK... and since NK has shown to be disrespectful to me, he wouldn't be allowed to play at our house/our yard. It would make things suck if he's the only NK, I still would stand strong. I would also discuss his behavior with my DC, saying something like, "What do you think of what NK was saying today? Do you think that's a nice way to talk? Do you think you would like friends who talk like that? Was that respectful? Would NK like you saying that about his parents?" Just kind of a check-in so that they know it's not acceptable to talk like that, that your family has higher expectations for behavior, and that NK's comments weren't how a good friend would talk.

[TwinFoxes]

I don't know what else you can do. But boy that sure seems like a fight just waiting to happen, bad mouthing a mom when her kids are around! I agree with limiting time with him.

[hillview]

Yeah talking to his parents would likely escalate things (vs if I found out my kids did that they would be grounded for a long time and writing notes). I told my kids they are not allowed to play with him for now. There are a bunch of kids around here and he is the one problem kid/family. It is likely to become a bigger issue some day ... sigh.

[AshleyAnn]

If he were at my home or I was the only adult in the situation I would have sent him home. I don't tolerate disrespect from someone else's brat. First few times I let it go, once you become "that kid" I stay on high alert and look for an excuse to send you home. Natural consequence of disrespect imo.

If his parents are likely to not do anything or turn it around on you I would leave them out of the situation until they contacted me. If you have a decent relationship I might call them and let them know why he was sent home. But honestly I rarely go to the parents in these situations, I have low expectations for them as parents if they raise kids who behave like that.

[Green_Tea]

I would have sent him home immediately. It sounds like his parents are a little difficult, but if they are not willing to supervise, they have to accept the judgement of the parent in charge.

[hellokitty]

I would have sent him home too. If he and his family are a known issue, I would not push the issue further. Tell your kids they're not allowed to play with this boy. If something else happens, I would definitely talk to the parents, even if they're jerks. I would basically consider this his warning.

[squimp]

I would have sent him home too. If he and his family are a known issue, I would not push the issue further. Tell your kids they're not allowed to play with this boy. If something else happens, I would definitely talk to the parents, even if they're jerks. I would basically consider this his warning.

I would probably send him home for calling me stupid. If I liked him at all, I'd give him one more chance, but it doesn't sound like he was sorry. I think you have every right as the parent hosting to say buh-bye to kids that are not respectful or good influences.