I am just so tired

[mikeys_mom]

We moved this summer. We arrived and 3 weeks later, DH had to head back for work. He has been away for 10 days. He's about to fly back and will arrive here tomorrow afternoon. Our container arrived the day he left...convenient...I've spent the last 10 days unpacking, trying to get organized and setup, acclimating the kids to new schools and a new country, trying to make friends for myself and my kids, trying to figure out where to go to get everything I need, cooking, cleaning, carpooling kids, finishing up administrative stuff like switching utilities to our names, etc... My house still looks so messy because we are not fully unpacked and particularly the toys have not been designated a proper storage spot. Hard when there are always boxes around and no basement or extensive storage area.

I should be tidying up right now, folding laundry, making lunches for tomorrow but I'm just so tired. I really wanted to have the house all ready for DH's arrival but it feels so far from that point right now and even thinking about it exhausts me. It's late. I actually got the kids to bed at a decent hour but haven't gotten my act together to be productive tonight. Ugh. I just feel so physically and emotionally tired and done. That flight better not be delayed tomorrow or I just might cry. Thankfully I've got lots of help and support from family and friends here but even with all that, I feel all the responsibilities of running the house on my own heavily on my shoulders. We are invited out for meals Friday night and Saturday lunch, which is awesome that I don't have to cook. I've got about 3 hours while the kids are in school tomorrow to tidy up the house and do a couple of quick errands. I just hope it's enough time and I can muster up enough strength to power through it. It's like I know the end is in sight and all the superpowers I forced myself to have while he was away are now fading fast.

Thanks for listening to my vent.

[StantonHyde]

Certainly, your DH will understand that whatever condition the house is in---is better than it could have been!!!! Seriously. I would be like "ta da!". We all survived, we are breathing, and the house has not fallen down and all the kids have underwear on. MIssion accomplished!

[mikeys_mom]

Certainly, your DH will understand that whatever condition the house is in---is better than it could have been!!!! Seriously. I would be like "ta da!". We all survived, we are breathing, and the house has not fallen down and all the kids have underwear on. MIssion accomplished!

Oh, he totally doesn't care about the condition of the house. He's just looking forward to seeing us and sleeping in his own bed for the first time in 7 weeks. We were on air mattresses for the 5 weeks our container was in transit. His only request was that his office be usable when he arrives, which it is once he helps me flip over the heavy desk I re-assembled.
It's my silly and often unrealistic expectations I set for myself. I have an image of a neat and tidy house with a pretty welcome banner greeting him. Ridiculous, I know...

[barkley1]

I know what you mean, both the exhaustion and the unrealistic expectations. I *know* DH really likes coming home to a tidy house without crap everywhere, but by the time 3:30 or 4:00 rolls around, I just don't have it in me to do anything but keep the kids alive and scrape together some crappy dinner. And I feel guilty about it. Short of drinking loads of coffee in the afternoon (and being up all night), I'm not sure what to do. Sounds like you are holding down the fort, and then some. I say take a shower and a nap during those 3 hours tomorrow

[OKKiddo]

His only request was that his office be usable when he arrives, which it is once he helps me flip over the heavy desk I re-assembled.

We're military and move a lot. And even this one my DH would never have even thought to ask me--even before we had kids and I was unpacking while he was deployed. Now with kids, he'd be happy that the house was still standing, the kids were alive, and that they had been fed/clothed/loved. My DH knows I have priorities on our moves. Beyond keeping the house from burning down and the kids taken care of, my rules for what gets unpacked is by order of absolute necessity for the household to function. That order for me is: kitchen (we eat 3 times a day, it's necessary for life), at least one bathroom (another absolute for any living thing--you'll see this more often than the kitchen but most bathrooms come already assembled with the one necessary thing needed to keep things moving, pun intended), kids bedrooms (furniture assembled and boxes not stacked above their heads--it's a safety issue), our room (if mama ain't happy, no one is), and then finally the living room, playroom, and study is bottom last on the list (laptops are portable and a printer can be set up on top of a box).

[bisous]

Certainly, your DH will understand that whatever condition the house is in---is better than it could have been!!!! Seriously. I would be like "ta da!". We all survived, we are breathing, and the house has not fallen down and all the kids have underwear on. MIssion accomplished!

If I could just internalize this message I could be so much happier. I'm going to work on that!

OP, that sounds exhausting. Hope you get the rest you need!

[mikeys_mom]

Thanks for all the commiseration. Got everyone off to school today. Now I'm sitting and enjoying a coffee Kids will be home in under 3 hours (Fridays are short here). I need to pick up flowers for our dinner and lunch hosts and drop them off. Tidying up the house doesn't seem quite as daunting as it did last night. Planning to take the kids out for lunch after school then head to the airport. Kids are just so excited to see their Dad and greet him at the airport that I know the rest doesn't matter. I'm still tired but not as exhausted as last night. Thanks for all the perspective. I'm going to focus on enjoying the weekend together and can't wait until Sunday morning when DH and I can go out for a nice breakfast after the kids go to school. Yup, it's a 6 day work week here and kids have regular day of school on Sunday

[StantonHyde]

If I could just internalize this message I could be so much happier. I'm going to work on that!

OP, that sounds exhausting. Hope you get the rest you need!

I am the queen of realistic expectations. Some might call them low expectations--tomato, tomahto whatever!!