IEP Parents: Do you refrain from complaining?

[pastrygirl]

My husband thinks that because our son is on an IEP, I should keep my mouth shut about non-IEP problems so that we don't get on the principal's bad side. Do you agree?

This week, the school bus was 20 minutes late without notice. It turns out, the bus arrived at the school to pick up the kids at least 10 minutes late, so the school knew there was a delay and should have notified the parents. The principal emailed the parents an hour after the kids got home, and I replied asking whether there was a notification system in place, especially since they already knew the bus was running a little late (and became later along the route, which was unfamiliar to the substitute driver). He emailed back and clearly implied that the delay only occured en route, which I know is not true. I replied again that my son said the bus was late to arrive, but yes, if the delay happens en route then it's hard to know about it and notify anyone. I left it at that. (FWIW, the principal and secretary were both new last year, and maybe they don't really have a system set up yet. It is NOT OK to NOT be notified of such a long delay and want to make sure that doesn't happen again.)

My husband thinks I unnecessarily rocked the boat, and now I'm wondering if I need to keep any complaints to myself to ensure that our big 3-year IEP review goes well in November. What do you do?

[egoldber]

Well, our school district sends out automatic messages to parents when buses run late. So we would have been notified of that delay. I would expect to be notified. Up to about a 10 minute delay is probably within "normal", so I don't know that I would have expected to be notified for that. But for 20 minutes, yes.

I don't see what an IEP has to do with this though, it's a transportation issue and completely separate. And principals deal with a LOT of stuff. I can't believe that this would even be on their radar. Do you find the principals are that involved in the IEP meetings? In the ones I have been in, they just sit there. The only time they have said anything is when a concern was raised about a specific interaction with a specific teacher and they indicated that the teacher had been "counseled".

[wellyes]

I wouldn't give it another thought.

[kboyle]

I agree, not sure what having am an IEP has to do with transportation? I wouldn't worry about it, bussing has nothing to do with academics and they can't give a bad review because of it.

Fwiw our school has a mass call AFTER the fact. Usually I call the bus garage after 10 min and find out myself and just call neighbors and such to let them know. If after 10 min the bus hasn't arrived I shoot the bus garage a quick call so I know to wait or bring him myself, or if we've missed the bus all together. We are at the end of our route and the furthest from the school so our buses always arrive the same time as the bell if not after. I have kids on ieps or 504 and if I have to discuss something with the office I've never thought that it would affect how my child's reviews went.


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[pastrygirl]

I don't see what an IEP has to do with this though, it's a transportation issue and completely separate.

My husband says that the principal is the one who approves the money for services, and might be less likely to want to shell anything out for a complainer.

[hillview]

I wouldn't think twice about it. They are totally separate issues.

[elliput]

My husband says that the principal is the one who approves the money for services, and might be less likely to want to shell anything out for a complainer.

To be blunt here, your husband has no clue what he is talking about. Your child is required by law (FAPE, IDEA, etc) to receive services if he is on an IEP and the principal can not make any changes to that IEP without your knowledge and consent.

[pastrygirl]

To be blunt here, your husband has no clue what he is talking about. Your child is required by law (FAPE, IDEA, etc) to receive services if he is on an IEP and the principal can not make any changes to that IEP without your knowledge and consent.

I know he can't change it, but he (and the team) can strongly advocate for getting rid of the full-time para, for example, because I/we are considered to be a pain. Then if I felt strongly about keeping the para, I'd have to pay for an advocate or go through hoops just to keep her. This is what I'm worried about. That I need to be "nice" and not rock the boat, EVER, in order for them to be more likely to comply with requests. ETA: I'm talking about our 3-year review, which is coming up. Doesn't the current IEP expire? So changes have to be made, yes? I just don't want to end up having to battle just because I was a thorn in their side about non-IEP things.

[elliput]

My husband thinks that because our son is on an IEP, I should keep my mouth shut about non-IEP problems so that we don't get on the principal's bad side. Do you agree?

No. I do not agree. How is your complaining about anything any different than the parent of a child not on an IEP complaining about that same thing? You expressed a concern which not only affected your child, but all of the children riding the bus.

From my experience as a parent with kids on IEP's, it is really hard to get on their "bad side". One thing which make a good school even better is how well they are able to service students who need extra help. Making sure the parents of special ed/IEP/504 students are happy with their child's education is quite important to them, and it would take a heckuva lot more than a concerned email over a late notification system to get them upset with you. Now if you were to show up in his office everyday with outrageous demands, I can see that might be an issue.

[egoldber]

My husband says that the principal is the one who approves the money for services, and might be less likely to want to shell anything out for a complainer.

This really isn't correct. The gatekeeper, such as it is, is going to be the special education coordinator and the school psychologist.

It's also up to them to show that he no longer needs services and has met all of his IEP goals before the IEP can be terminated.

Has the principal said anything to indicate that he thinks you complain a lot? I think your DH is really off base here.