WOHP - What is your long term plan

[pb&j]

I recently went down to 75%, and I have been teleworking one day/week for years. Right now (my kids are K and 3rd), I like my work hours, generally enjoy the work that I do, but am not feeling challenged. It's the curse of the mommy track, I guess. I have no desire to stop working, and will likely go back to full time sometime in the not too distant future. I have no qualms about asking a potential employer about telework/flex policies, as not having those would be an absolute deal breaker for me. My husband works irregular hours (lots of nights and weekends), so it's imperative to me that I'm home during the afterschool hours as much as possible. If I had a more demanding job that was really worth the time away, I'd find a way to make it work. I've said for a long time that it's not so much that I want to work less, it's that I want a job that is worth the 40+ hours per week.

For me, work is about the paycheck and benefits (DH is self employed, so the health insurance etc is all riding on me), but also my own personal satisfaction. We have some savings, but don't live extravagantly (I cannot relate to all the posts about vacation homes and Frye boots and luxury cars). We will both be able to retire in our early 60's, knock on wood. I like working. I also think that it's important to me to have recent professional work experience, and money and credit in my own name. You never know.

[TxCat]

Do you plan on always working?

Yes. We're meeting with a financial planner later this month to reassess our retirement goals and current savings, but right now my plan is to retire when I'm 55, but I would be willing to push that to 60 if necessary. However, if I retire from my current career in my 50s, I plan to transition to another job/career at that time that is more laid-back, and I would continue working until 60-65 probably. My current career can be very mentally and physically stressful which is why I'd rather retire from it in my 50s if possible. Fortunately my DH has a job where he plans to work until his 70s or 80s, so that will help allow me to retire early.

What is the goal of 2 incomes, to just make the bills or for the best life you can have?

To foster the best life that I can have, but that goes beyond the income. Yes, having two incomes is fantastic - it allows us a lot more options when it comes to housing, schools, extracurriculars, hobbies, travel, etc. But I really work for the benefits beyond that. I like contributing to my own retirement. I like being able to surprise my husband with gifts or plans that I was able to pay for myself (same is true with doing that for my parents). I like knowing that whatever might befall me in the future, I can immediately support myself and my children on my own if necessary. And perhaps most importantly, I feel like working full time makes me an equal partner at home with my DH. We both know that we are working hard outside the home, so we both dig in and get things done at home together. This may just be the dynamic of our marriage, but I think it's also the reality of a dual working parent home - everything just has to get shared otherwise it doesn't get done.

Do you worry you will be in that comfortable financial spot you are working towards at some point but then your kids are teenagers and not really as interested in you home more anyway?

About a year and a half ago I shifted my job into a schedule that allowed a lot more flexibility and ended up allowing for more independence and a better overall work environment. The downside is that I've essentially guaranteed I won't be getting promoted, like ever (but that might have been the case anyways, since I was mommy tracked before, just on a different schedule). I really take advantage of this schedule - several days a week I can do drop off and pick up for DD1's school, I schedule playdates during the week (much easier for most SAHPs), and I try to make sure I get a lot of one-on-one time with my girls. I am chronically tired as a result, but I feel like I'm really taking advantage of the opportunities that my current schedule affords me. As my girls get older, I recognize that I might need to change schedules again to better fit their lives and my goals - maybe a more traditional schedule, or maybe I'll start working a little more as they get older, it just depends on what the needs of our family are. But I feel like by continuing to work, I'm preserving those options more than stopping out from the workforce for a while. However, that may be unique to my career (medicine), where gaps in work history are really frowned upon and you are expected to stay current with research and skills no matter what.

I should add that I don't really worry about feeling like I've missed some aspect my DC's lives by continuing to work. Part of that is because I've worked really hard to carve out a position and a schedule that is still fulfilling professionally, but allows me flexibility and a lot of time home with my family (the trade-off is the lack of promotion potential and not making as much as I could in other positions). I am of the belief that it's healthy for my DCs to see that DH and I have interests and livelihoods outside of the home. If I was a SAHP I would definitely have hobbies or volunteer projects going on. Instead, I work, and I just don't have as much time for hobbies or volunteering. I'm just not a personality that could be at home 24/7 with nothing else to focus on, so I don't see the problem if that other focus is a career, if that makes sense.

[hillview]

I plan to always work. I am also balancing and trying to sort it out. I recently changed jobs and have a 20% pay increase which is good. I signed up for 30% travel and it was getting to be more like 50% and I pushed back and no one fired me. I have a ton of flexibility. I WFH 70% and travel on planes the other 30%. For me a job is about a lot of things (some I am still sorting out!). I don't think I could be a good SAHM but I don't love my job but I am good at it and get paid well in a senior level role. The goal of 2 incomes? well, I guess it is rewarding work? financial security? Savings for college and retirement. Nice vacations. Lower stress if someone is laid off etc.

[hellokitty]

I am in a job right now that is the perfect, "mommy track" kind of job. I'm waaay overqualified for it and waaay underpaid for it. However, it is extra $ that we need for retirement and the college for the kids. I was a sahm for 10 yrs and honestly did not think I'd return to work. However, my dh has always kept telling me I need to return to work, for retirement and college savings.

Well, due to the economy, dh's 5 yr plan did not pan out. His career is stalled and it's something out of his control. He thought he'd make more in another job by now. I don't make a great salary, but it was a minimum amt that would have wanted in a raise if he changed jobs. So the job came up, dh was applying for a job at the same time, I pretty much told my dh, I HAVE to apply for this job, basically I felt like it had my name written on it. Unfortunately dh got the short end of the stick with the job he interviewed for, even the ppl at that workplace acknowledged it when they had to tell him that they ended to hire two new grads instead of a new grad and an experienced person, like they had originally told him, and out of the exp ppl, he was the one they wanted. I was offered a job and I feel like it takes some pressure off of my dh to get another job. He's still applying, but his field seriously sucks right now unless you're a new grad.

My issue with my job is that I should be getting paid more for what I do. Even my supervisor acknowledges that the position is severely underpaid for what it is, but she has no say in salary categories. I could stay at the job though and have a great work life balance. However, I'm also a relatively motivated person and I want to strive for something more. If I go back to grad school and get my master's, I have a lot of potential to move up within the organization... But work life balance will shift a lot and I am also struggling over whether or not it would be worth it. Had I not taken 10 yrs off as a sahm, I know would already be in a mgmt position. But I lost those 10 yrs on my resume and chose to go into a different field and am basically starting from the bottom again. Looking back, I should have at least continued per diem work. It would have given me more options and let me continue working up the ladder.

I see myself working at least part time until I retire at this point. I do like being at work again. However, I also struggle with how far I want to take my career and how much it affects our family life. I feel like once my kids go to college, I will have so much less pressure regarding family life, but I will be OLD, and that will work against me.

[llama8]

Do you plan on always working?
Yes. I have a career as a teacher and I love it and can't imagine giving it up. It was a career that I worked very hard to obtain and it gives me hours that I can still enjoy my children. I couldn't be a stay-at-home Mom. I took a long maternity leave and although I enjoyed it, I couldn't do it much longer. I need to have a career and goals for myself. Staying home felt like I was floundering and listless. The kids grew up to school age so fast that I would be miserable now if I gave up my career. I do get summers off with the kids so I do get to have the stay-at-home experience for 2 months. I love the time spent with the kids, and it reminds me that I love my job too.

What is the goal of 2 incomes, to just make the bills or for the best life you can have?
We live in a pricey area so 2 incomes is almost necessary. We are frugal people when it comes to home and cars and fancy things. My car is 10 yrs old and I wouldn't have it any other way. We do spend money for private school for the girls, because that is a huge priority for us. It also allows us to do vacations to places like Disney world, and dance and gymnastics for the kids. We are not wealthy, but money is not a life stress for us with me working. I grew up with a stay at home mom and we were pretty poor and although I appreciated her staying home, I would never want to go through that type of financial stress as an adult.

[lalasmama]

I WOH for many reasons... mostly lifestyle related. DH's teacher's salary can't afford us the 2600sqft house, the 2012 Ford Explorer, the 2007 Lacrosse, the twice-a-year vacations. While I don't make a lot (about 65% of DH's salary), it's the difference between being comfortable without financial worries, or living severely paycheck to paycheck. Some of it is also personality related--I get blah when I'm at home all day and DD is at school. And I get blah if DD and I are home together all day. There, I admitted it--I work because I just don't find joy in being a FT SAHM. DD has social issues, and would need an aftercare situation for socialization anyway, so I'd be home 10 hours a day, alone, with a house to clean. Doesn't get my motor runnin'! I like working. I like helping people feel better. I'm much happier overall when I'm working.

Yes, I plan on working for a long time.... DH and I have agreed that shortly I'll be back in school to become a midwife, and my working time will be turned into study time, and, eventually, work will mean being on-call 24/7, catching babies, doing pre-natals and post-natals, and taking care of mamas, mamas to be, and teeny new babies. Can't imagine anything better way to spend my work life! Eventually, when DH retires, I'll cut back the number of births I attend, and we will have more time together to travel, help even more with the grandbabies, etc.

Now, as important as work is to me, I do fight for a good work/life balance. Currently, that means I'm working for several less dollars an hour at a company with crappy benefits, because they support an altered work schedule (in my case, that means working 7am-4pm 4 days a week so that I can be home when DD comes home from aftercare, and one afternoon off for appointments and assorted family/home life needs). My other option would be 12-hour days when commute time was considered--meaning I'm leaving home at 7am, and getting home at 7pm 4 days a week, which would suck for our family, even if it would give me a full day off each work week. I like being able to be home when DD gets home, and being able to be home when DH gets home. It gives me the feeling of "almost" being a SAHM, as I get to open the door when they get home, but I'm not spending my days around an empty house.

Thankfully, OP, I'm in a place where I feel like I don't have to run on multiple treadmills, because all the treadmills are connected well, and work well together (at this moment!). Now, if you asked this question 6 months ago, I would have said that the work treadmill was taking all my time, and the home treadmill was going too fast, and I had no idea what was going on with the family treadmill. But, for now, they are all working well together, and I am blessed to be able to move from one to the other with relative ease. If only it was that easy/possible for everyone!

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Do you plan on always working?

Yes.

What is the goal of 2 incomes, to just make the bills or for the best life you can have?

To foster the best life that I can have, but that goes beyond the income. Yes, having two incomes is fantastic - it allows us a lot more options when it comes to housing, schools, extracurriculars, hobbies, travel, etc. But I really work for the benefits beyond that. I like contributing to my own retirement. I like being able to surprise my husband with gifts or plans that I was able to pay for myself (same is true with doing that for my parents). I like knowing that whatever might befall me in the future, I can immediately support myself and my children on my own if necessary. And perhaps most importantly, I feel like working full time makes me an equal partner at home with my DH. We both know that we are working hard outside the home, so we both dig in and get things done at home together. This may just be the dynamic of our marriage, but I think it's also the reality of a dual working parent home - everything just has to get shared otherwise it doesn't get done.

Do you worry you will be in that comfortable financial spot you are working towards at some point but then your kids are teenagers

I should add that I don't really worry about feeling like I've missed some aspect my DC's lives by continuing to work. Part of that is because I've worked really hard to carve out a position and a schedule that is still fulfilling professionally, but allows me flexibility and a lot of time home with my family (the trade-off is the lack of promotion potential and not making as much as I could in other positions). I am of the belief that it's healthy for my DCs to see that DH and I have interests and livelihoods outside of the home. If I was a SAHP I would definitely have hobbies or volunteer projects going on. Instead, I work, and I just don't have as much time for hobbies or volunteering. I'm just not a personality that could be at home 24/7 with nothing else to focus on, so I don't see the problem if that other focus is a career, if that makes sense.

I agree with all these points!! I plan to always work full time. I think a part of it is I really love my job and where I work, the people, etc..that definitely makes it easier. And, I don't really feel guilty for working instead of being at home with my kids...maybe part of that is because I DID stay at home with them for almost 3 years, and iave BTDt and am far happier now than how I was then. I also think it is great for my kids to see that their mom has a life/interest outside of just them.

Also I agree with egoldber...I think flexibile job is key, at least for me. While I can't really work from home, we are planning to move in couple years so that our commute time will be more like 5 minutes instead of 30. I only work 40 hrs a week and rarely work evenings or weekends. Also, where I work they are very understanding re: time off for things like sick kids, school events, dr apps things like that. Eg on Tuesday I could say I want to take 2 hrs in Friday afternoon off to attend a kids class party and it is totally fine...I can just use PTO or make up the time later. Also my company just changed their Paid time off policy to be 5 weeks every year (after 5 years) which will really come in handy for not just vacations but for kids school events.I do see the point that as kids get older they will need you more so I am hoarding all my PTO now so that when they are in school I will have several weeks PTO built up for things like early dismissals, school holidays etc.

[sste]

Janine that is a tough call as I suspect is really is more than a 25% raise -- you are going to put yourself on a more lucrative track longer term as well I imagine.

How badly do you want to retire and at what age? And what kind of college funding do you want/plan to provide for kids? That is what it would come down to for me.

I am another one with a very flexible job. I am full-time but am reorienting my hours (going in after kids go to bed for a couple of hours etc) so I will be home 2 weekdays, 3 weekdays in the summer. I have had thoughts about going part-time with the birth of our third child and also feeling like their childhood is short! We would be OK if either one of us quit work, less vacations yes. I don't want to go down to part-time for two reasons: 1) I really enjoy my work and it doesn't lend itself to part-time in terms of pro-rating compensation; 2) I make a decent income and as of this year (and I think this is my own psychotic personal issues) I have started devoting 100% of my salary after I put into my 403 and 457 to the kids - - their college, some special funds for them, etc. I feel like I have the opportunity to really set them up in life financially without school debt etc doing a job that is fun(!) and I am reluctant to give that up. All that being said, I am able to stay home a couple of days per week, at least one, and that is a big deal to me.

Oh, I don't want ever want to retire. That for me was an argument in favor of part-time -- my job would be there for a loooong time. But thus far I am systematically trying every last thing short of formal part-time before I take that step/pay cut.

[abh5e8]

interesting post and replies. I WOTH FT because I feel very strongly that i am called to my profession. I plan to work most all of my life, although not always FT. I don't like my job currently at all. its 50 - 55 hours per week, 8-5 or 7-4 M-F pluse one evening per week (until 10) plus 5-10 hours per week working from home, usually late at night after kids are in bed. i'm looking for a new job and trying to decide if I want FT (to pay off loans and build investments quickly) or part time, so I can be home with kids. i've been a SAHM for about 2 years total since my dd was born 7.5 years ago and i love love love being at home. I usually say "i love my work but hate leaving home." its so true. thankfully its a job i can mommy-track for a while, a good long while and get back into when the kids are grown and gone. i also have to carry the health insurance as dh is self employed, part time right now, but will be full time when i cut back my hours. its busy and crazy at times, but its a good mix for us.

[khalloc]

Do you plan on always working?

Sort of. Until I can retire or I win the lottery, I'll work. I never had a desire to stay home with my kids though. I'd love to not work, but I still would have wanted to send my kids to daycare. Lol. It would have been nice to stay home till the kids were a year or 18 months, but after that I would have gotten a little stir crazy. I cut back to 39 hours a week though once my kids were both in school, so as soon as DS went to kindergarten (all day here) I was able to leave work at 2:30 and be home when the kids got off the bus. So that's pretty perfect I think.


What is the goal of 2 incomes, to just make the bills or for the best life you can have?

pay bills, save money, be able to afford things like nice vacations.

Do you worry you will be in that comfortable financial spot you are working towards at some point but then your kids are teenagers and not really as interested in you home more anyway?

Not really. I don't understand just staying home once your kids are school aged. I mean if your loaded then go for it! I'd love to laze around the house all day without a care in the world. But if you could use the money, what's the point in being home all day when your kids are at school anyways?