Question about stranger anxiety

[Myira]

First some background - My sister visited us with her 11 month old baby and he met all of us for the first time. She arrived Wednesday night and left today morning. Well it turned out to be a very exhausting visit for her, she could barely even go to the bathroom or move 5 feet away from him before he would start pouting and bursting into tears. There was nothing I could do to give her a break since he would freak out if I ventured to touch him.

He is being babysat at home by her in-laws and has never been in a daycare setting. This was the first time she traveled alone with him on a 4 hour flight half way across the country so a lot of changes for him I understand. He would love to play only if she was in a radius of 5 feet. The nights were a totally different story and yesterday he kept crying and was up until 3 am, plus he was demanding that she carry him and walk around the whole time. At 2 am after 2 hours of that ordeal she was just physically exhausted not to mention the fact that she is on a 4 hour flight with him all by herself today

So I need some perspective on what we could/should have done and whether this is within the realms of completely normal 11-month old behavior. (I have to admit my own kids behavior is a blur and haze at this point, though DD always did have a lot of stranger anxiety and was super sensitive to her surroundings just like my sister's son.)

[georgiegirl]

Doesn't sound outside the range of normal. At that age, many babies don't want mama to leave the room without them. Add traveling to a new place, and I can see why he wouldn't want to be more than 5 feet from mama. As for the nights, baby might have been teething on top of everything. Who knows. It doesn't sound too strange to me, especially as the mom of a sensitive child (who was a very difficult baby.). I don't think there was anything you could have done. Encouraging separation would have just made it worse.

[Philly Mom]

I have pretty easy going kids. Mine would have been the same. Totally normal. Drives my mom crazy. She wants to walk in and be grandma and as babies, they want me and sometimes DH. Other kids can warm them up to adults but I think babies can sense the stress you feel when they don't respond well to you so it becomes a pattern.


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[specialp]

Normal in my experience and nothing you could have done. Mine are easy going and one in particular loves meeting strangers (if mom is there), but the combination of new people and a strange place amps it up. At that age, mine seemed fine if relatives came to visit us and the babies were in their own environment, but going to visit our relatives was a very different story. Mine were always extra clingy for a week or so after we got back, too.

[jren]

Normal, and the more the "strangers" would try and pay attention to baby, the worse it would get!

[lalasmama]

Normal... If it makes you feel better, we just had a similar experience. My cousin brought her 15mo old over for her first visit (they live out of state). They were in the area for a month, staying with cousin's mom most nights. During that time, no one could get near her without blood-curdling screaming! Mom and baby went to bed at the same time, got up at the same time, and Mom wasn't even allowed to use the bathroom without baby following her (or freaking out). It was like that child had a sixth sense for when mom went 3 feet and 1 inch away!

[twowhat?]

Normal, and the more the "strangers" would try and pay attention to baby, the worse it would get!

Totally! My kids were the same way - they'd even go into the bathroom with me when I needed to pee in order to avoid having to wait outside with people they were uncomfortable with (if we were at someone's house). Shy kids need to approach strangers on their own terms so I try to leave them alone and do less "in your face" kinds of things to get them comfortable, like handing back a dropped toy without saying anything, or handing over some food, or quickly playing peek-a-boo if I catch him looking at me....but most of all it just takes time.

Exhausting trip for your sister though...hope she's able to catch up on rest when they get home!

[AshleyAnn]

Totally normal. I traveled with DD at that age (and thru about 2.5 it didnt change) Sooo tiring and soooooo much work. DD didnt sleep well in a new places and all the schedule changes made her difficult. She was fine with strangers but traveling was a nightmare the first few years.

Honestly I dont recall anything anyone could have done to help except bbe non judgemental that my daily parenting is not what they see on "vacation" and understand I'm doing the best I could (my family was NOT good at this). Its just mommy work imo, you just have to cope sometimes :-\

[sweetsue98]

I was the teacher at our church nursey and a 1 yr old boy was having a blast with me for over 30 minutes until he realized his mom was no where to be seen! All hell broke loose and I had to go get his mom. So I would say it's normal.

[MamaKath]

Totally normal. My first would have reacted the same way. My second was (and still is) much more social, so might have let me get about 10 feet away.