WWYD - DS / school question

[lmh2402]

DS is in K. much to our surprise, DS started balking about attending school as early as the 2nd day. DH and I really were caught off guard, as DS has always enjoyed academics and loves routine and structure.

I got the feeling that something was up when I went to open school night and heard more about the class - it seemed...intense.

and within the first week, DS was bringing home lots of unfinished work sheets - he expressed concerns about having unfinished work, which i repeatedly told him was ok. he's been less verbal about these worries lately

then last week i went in to the classroom for my first parent volunteer spot during literacy center time.

i left there and literally felt like i needed a drink. to say it was intense would be, IMO an understatement

teacher told me i was going to have two groups - 15 minutes per group. each group was expected to:
1. read a little scholastic reader - easy, though only five kids in the whole class can actually read, but she expected me to read with them...fine
2. take a "pack" of papers - three pages, separate the sheets and then cut out six rectangular story pages - two per sheet of paper. order them and then i would staple them
3. then take another sheet that has four pictures - sequence them, numbering them, cut out the four pictures and then glue them in the appropriate order on a yellow strip of paper
4. "ideally" write a sentence under each picture

i'm not sure if others think this sounds reasonable, but my reaction when she first told me the plans was to pick my jaw up off the floor. and then dig in. each group got to work. i had to prod and push to get them through. in my first group one little girl didn't even get to cut out the set of sequencing pics. she was visibly upset by this.

second group two kids, including, DS were able to get through and write ONE sentence sort of. first of all, the space was no way big enough for them to write a sentence under each picture - these kids are five/six. they write big and messy. secondly, the time was TIGHT

DS was basically vibrating through the whole time i was there. surely in part because he was excited that I was there. but definitely in good part because of the timeline. the teacher gave five minute warnings. and counted down as it got close. when she did this, it made the kids (especially DS) even more frenzied seeming. DS is a smart kid. yet he sequenced teh pictures totally wrong at first because he was just rushing. emphasis seemed to be on focusing on a task, not talking, completing the task. i'm not even sure what they were learning.

it just didn't feel good. at all.

i left feeling complicit in adding to the stress these kids seem to under.

other parents have been mentioning to me ways in which their kids seem to be acting out - not to the extent that we're seeing with DS. but still...

so...what to do?

i am feeling very stuck. i really think there is no way i can have DS moved - the school wouldn't do it. and it would seriously rock the boat politically speaking - school and town is small. ultimately, i would fight and push for it, if i thought there would be zero blow back on DS. but i just don't believe that would be the case

but that leaves us facing almost a whole year - it's only Oct - allowing him to stay in a classroom that I didn't even feel good leaving. I truly can understand why he's been feeling so overwhelmed and stressed out.

I could talk to the teacher, but what would i say? apparently, this is how she runs her classroom - i talked with a mom who's son had her two years ago and it was the same then. apparently the other two K classes are definitely more laid back.

ugh.

so:
1. do you think what i described sounds like a lot for 15 minutes in a K classroom?
2. is there anything i could or should do?...would you consider pushing to have him moved? any other suggestions?

thanks

[SnuggleBuggles]

Is private school out? You might find a better fit. I wouldn't be surprised if your public school was the land of over achiever and a private school might be better, depending on the school. No doubt some would be even more intense but we have a fair number of mellow, relaxed private schools here too.

The work doesn't sound out of whack but it'd depend on what the teachers expectations were. What were they hoping to get out of the kids? Perfect in every way? Try their best? Accomplish 50% or 100%?

[lmh2402]

Is private school out? You might find a better fit. I wouldn't be surprised if your public school was the land of over achiever and a private school might be better, depending on the school. No doubt some would be even more intense but we have a fair number of mellow, relaxed private schools here too.

The work doesn't sound out of whack but it'd depend on what the teachers expectations were. What were they hoping to get out of the kids? Perfect in every way? Try their best? Accomplish 50% or 100%?

yeah, private is out. we pay way too much in taxes for that to be feasible unless we move.

teacher seemed to not really care what they completed. at the end of each group, she came and asked them what they thought they did well. what they thought they could have done better. she told them to think about how much more they could have gotten done if they talked less. several children lost time at recess because they talked too much - but again, they're five. seemed just really... hard core. of course, i'm not there all day, every day. but something has been off with DS. and when i was there last week, it just seemed very clear as to why.

[ArizonaGirl]

DS just started Kindy here in Public school and to say the day is jam packed is an understatement.

It seems like every minute is pretty much accounted for with meetings, recess, centers, writing, specials, snack, lunch, science, social studies, etc.

I would have a problem with students losing recess over that, for a first offense, really at all. I am not a fan of taking away recess.

DS has Autism/ADHD and school has been a roller coaster and we are still trying to adjust.

This is after attending a very progressive, highly-academic Preschool and Kindergarten Prep.

[PZMommy]

Speaking as a kinder teacher, that sounds like a lot to do in 15 minutes. I could see one of those projects being done in 15 minutes, but not all three.

I will say kinder as a whole is very intense these days. Each year it gets worse and worse. We as teachers complain, but get no where. My students have a district mandated writing test next week, where we read them a paragraph and then they need to write multiple sentences telling about what their favorite part is and why. Seriously?? My kids are writing their names and the letters of the alphabet. I know they will all fail it, and I'm okay with that, because it is an insane test and not appropriate for kinder at this point of the school year. I have a class of English language learners, many of them speak very little English. I have 22 kids and 7 different languages represented. My kids have made huge progress since the start of the year, but there is no way they are ready for this test. I try to make these tests as stress free as possible, because I don't want to break their confidence.

[anonomom]

The substance of the work seems in line with what DD is doing in her kindy class, but the timing seems really tight. TBH, I don't know how much time DD2 gets to do her work this year (because they don't have parents volunteer for centers like when DD1 was in Kindy), but from what I remember of DD1's kindergarten year, when they were asked to do something similar to the cut/sequence/write activity, it took up a whole 20-minute center block (though usually they were also asked to color in the pictures).

I'm starting to become very aware of exactly how big an impact teachers have on a class. DD1 and DD2 had different Kindy teachers, and the experience has been night-and-day different. DD2's teacher is loving, enthusiastic, and above all never forgets she's dealing with 5yos. She makes DD2 look forward to going to school every day. I'm so grateful to have gotten a good teacher this year, but it makes me feel terrible for the kids in some of our school's other kindergartens.

[westwoodmom04]

It sounds like the teacher doesn't expect or care if they finish all of the activity. So, I would just reinforce to ds that he is to do his best effort, but that if he doesn't finish an activity, it is fine. Does she go back to uncompleted stuff the next day? I was also at school yesterday, younger child is in first. They had about 10 to 15 minutes to log on to computer with passwords, navigate through a few web pages, and complete a computer activity of adjectives (write a sentence using two, and draw a picture with computer software to go with sentence). The teacher told me to let them try to log on and navigate by themselves (entering user name in all caps, and password given to them in lowercase). A few kids could no problem, and finished most if not all of the project, but many needed help, and had just arrived at the activity page when time was up. Teacher told them they would finish the project next time (this was a weekly special).

[JCat]

That sounds like the type of work my DS is getting, though not enough time to do it. Every lesson from the Common Core seems to want to teach three or four things at once before the kids have even mastered the basics. If my kid couldn't already read we'd be in trouble.

[lmh2402]

Oh, let me clarify - the work is totally age appropriate, but the "volume" in the allotted time is my issue. 15 minutes to do all that was waaaayyyy too much stuff in too little time.

there are two other K classes and they don't rotate during centers - as i'm hearing from the moms in that class. it sounds like a much more relaxed vibe.

the timing and count-downs and asking afterward what they could have done better just seems very intense.

and it's done in this weird sort of affect - like the words being used by the teacher are "nice" and the voice seems sing-songy and nice, but there's this undertone of edge.

like after the center is over, they all have to hurry to put their stuff away (fine) and then get to the reading corner and sit with their legs folded, hands folded in their laps and "a big smile on their face." but it feels unfriendly. unhappy. there was a kid who was struggling to get his stuff into his cubby and he was saying, "oh no, oh no, oh no." he was the last one to the reading rug and she reprimanded him.

it feels like she's a drill sergeant in a boot camp, rather than a teacher in a kindy classroom.

[pinkmomagain]

I would definitely let the teacher know about how your ds is reacting. My dd3 has been having anxiety relating to school/performance since last year. I really wanted to stop it, because the most important thing for me is to preserve a positive attitude towards learning. She gets no crazy pressure at home about grades, we just expect her to get her work done and try her best. Both last year and this year, I let the teachers know that she was feeling anxious about performance and the types of things she was saying to me, and they were both responsive. This year's teacher in particular has been just amazing since I told him. I think I would come at it more about what you are seeing at home, rather than criticizing her approach - IYKWIM.