What age for first sleepover

[melrose7]

DD2 got invited to a birthday party sleepover. First they are going ice skating, which will be difficult to begin with, and then a sleepover. This girl had a roller skating party last year and all the parents stayed because no one knew how to roller skate, I can't imagine it will be any different with a bunch of girls who have never ice skated before. I can stay for the ice skating part, not sure how much help I will be as I haven't skated in 20+ years.
But my big issue is the sleepover. She has only slept over at my parents before with her brother and sister. But she is excited and wants to. They live about a 1/2 mile from us so I can always pick her up easily if she wants to come home. This girl is supposedly her best friend but they aren't in the same class this year and they have never had a play date together. I know the mom is divorced but I don't know the home situation. Should I be nervous? Should I let her go? I was hoping she would be a little older and I would know they family better that she was staying at for a sleepover. DD2 is 7, a young, small 7, shy, and quiet and this girl is very much the opposite. Not that she can't be friends with girls different than her because my best friends were pretty different from me too.
What age did your kids begin sleepovers?

[mom2khj]

We started around 8.

[Ceepa]

I'd let her go. Tell her she always has the option of coming home early.

[MaiseyDog]

DD1 started going to sleepovers in second grade. Sleepovers seemed to be the big turning 8 birthday party and it was infact what DD1 had as her 8th birthday party. DD2 has slept at relatives or really close friends, but hasn't done the "friends" sleepvoer party yet. I expect that she will start this coming year.

[marinkitty]

My older two did their first sleepover (one-on-one at a very good family friend's house) in kindergarten (so 5.5 or so?) but my youngest hasn't done one yet and he just turned 7. I'd let him but he is a bit more of a wild man and I would not have inflicted him on another family any earlier than this. A party is a little different because of the group dynamic and it can cut both ways, I think. Does your DD want to go? Is she nervous? If she really wants to go and doesn't seem anxious about it and you know the family well, I'd go for it. They can always call you to come get her if she needs that in the evening. We have had kids bail out of sleepovers at our house a couple of times.

[georgiegirl]

DD went to her first sleepover party last month. She's 8. It was a birthday party.

[khalloc]

DD went to her first sleepover party last month. She's 8. It was a birthday party.

My DD had friends sleep over at age 7. She wasnt ready to sleep at her friends house until she was almost 8. Which was odd, since she slept over tons of other places (both sets of grandparents, multiple aunts houses, etc...) I would have let her if she wanted to, but she was nervous to do it.

[Simon]

We started around age 7, but with BFF and he had stayed there before (not voluntarily when brothers were born).

I would check in with the Mom re:how many kids are sleeping over, what is the plan for where they will sleep, are there going to be quiet hours? I would also want to emphasize that she call if your Dd is unhappy.

Personally, I think its fine to try if you think she'd like it or to say, "I'll pick Dd up at 9 pm, we have an event the next day and she needs to be rested."

[daisysmom]

Our first attendance e at a sleepover party was this summer at 7. Wasn't at her best friends house and I didn't know the family super well but she wanted to go. Subsequent sleepovers with best friend.

[twowhat?]

I dunno maybe my perspective is skewed because my kids have never gone on a sleepover (except at grandma's house)...but for now I cannot see letting my kids do a sleepover - anywhere - if I knew nothing about the parents and had never done a playdate, spent time with the parents, etc.

I can think of a handful of folks I'd be OK with my DDs doing a sleepover at...but they're either good friends, or I've gotten to know them over the course of several playdates, events, etc.

In fact we turned down a sleepover invite last year because I DID do a playdate with the Mom and during/afterwards determined that there is no way I trust her (remember my weird playdate thread?). So I feel like I need to get to know the person, at least a little bit, first.

But I do think I'm on the more anxious end of the spectrum when it comes to sleepovers. Fortunately the moms that I've gotten to know feel the same way so I don't feel like I'm alone in that thinking

And a slightly unrelated question - I for one would not want to be responsible for a group of 7yos all night!! For those of you who do sleepovers, what's your take on this? My kids would be a BEAR the next day since they wouldn't be rested, and I would be a bear too since I wouldn't be rested! Clearly I won't be hosting sleepovers anytime soon but for those that have hosted them, do you just assume you won't be getting rest that night and suck it up because your child really wanted to have a sleepover?