Girls wearing dresses on the playground

[sanja973]

Well, I said that it is uncomfortable to have wet rashguard on - it was turned into - she does not know about cancer,sun-protection and so on. It is just avoiding subject. I understand covering private parts of kids for hygienic reasons too but I was looking for answer why babies and toddlers should be covered ALL THE TIMES BY ANY MEANS. This is very common in US and I see it as extreem. Kids are not ashamed of their body on their own, we are teaching them that and any extreme is not good.
Extreem I am talking about in my situation is not what your kids are wearing. It is having stare at me for changing wet swimsuit in public on my 3yo( not naked kid running around as I did it quicly) and having toplles baby girl in shaded pool. Why that bothers anyone?

[Melaine]

Well, I said that it is uncomfortable to have wet rashguard on - it was turned into - she does not know about cancer,sun-protection and so on. It is just avoiding subject. I understand covering private parts of kids for hygienic reasons too but I was looking for answer why babies and toddlers should be covered ALL THE TIMES BY ANY MEANS. This is very common in US and I see it as extreem. Kids are not ashamed of their body on their own, we are teaching them that and any extreme is not good.
Extreem I am talking about in my situation is not what your kids are wearing. It is having stare at me for changing wet swimsuit in public on my 3yo( not naked kid running around as I did it quicly) and having toplles baby girl in shaded pool. Why that bothers anyone?

that certainly wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't look twice. you can understand why many of us our confused that you seem to be blaming us for things you have experienced even though none of us have said we feel that way, right? i am still having trouble following some of your sentences though. I am not avoiding any subjects; I do not think girls have to cover up more than boys. My son wears a long sleeve rashguard as well as my daughers wearing rashguards as well as two piece tankinis. i don't want to see the underwear of man, woman, or child in public but I don't judge parents who don't do shorts under dresses. We can agree to disagree on this but don't blame me for random interactions you have had at the pool.

[citymama]

I really do think we are talking about two different concerns here. I agree with the PP's who have brought up the sun protection angle -- my sister lived in Australia for 5 years right out of college and honestly, her experience there probably was my first learning experience about sun protection. Up until then, we maybe used "Sea and Ski" cream, but we also used a ton of baby oil and even Crisco to help get color. I haven't had any moles removed (do get them checked) but my mother has (she was also a sun worshipper). So I do not disagree, of course, with anyone's wearing clothing to protect themselves, and their kiddos, from the sun.

But I think the second concern, and probably that which the underlying article and the OP were driving at, is a perception (maybe accurate, maybe not, reasonable minds can differ) that girls should be more modest because they are girls. On that front, my DD wears bikeshorts probably b/c they are trendy and everyone else is wearing them, but not because she is modest. And she wears bikinnis and very high cut shorts. Again here, I think reasonable minds can differ, but my parenting choice is to not discourage bikinnis or anything else she wants to wear, honestly. Again, others make different parenting choices and that's fine too.

One can be ok with bikinnis and girls using immodest fashion trends for expression and still want sun protection.

Yes, exactly. I dress myself and my kids based on what's comfortable and practical for the season and situation. I'm frequently taken aback to see adult women wearing 4 inch heels in places like pumpkin patches and state parks - but not so much to see a 5 year old in a dress w/o bike shorts hanging upside down on the monkey bars!

I too want kids to stay kids as long as possible and not be burdened with modesty concerns so young. I say this as one of those people whose kids do usually wear leggings and bike shorts under dresses, and rashguards at the beach - but I cringe at the assumption that girls should wear them just to cover up for modesty!

[khalloc]

I havent read the whole thread about rashguards and people debating that. But I DO buy rashguards for my kids. Mostly for when we are at the beach for the whole day, or they are at summer camp and I am not there to make sure they are properly coated with sunscreen. The rashguard, I think, makes it easy to know that my kids' skin is covered and they wont get a sunburn on their chest/back/arms. I dont make them wear it all the time. My son for awhile preferred to wear a rashguard for a few years and just recently wanted to go without one. My DD goes back and forth. Her's are all short-sleeved. She has bikinis and tankinis, some boy shorts and 1 or 2 rashguards. She mixes and matches her swimsuits.

[sanja973]

that certainly wouldn't bother me and I wouldn't look twice. you can understand why many of us our confused that you seem to be blaming us for things you have experienced even though none of us have said we feel that way, right? i am still having trouble following some of your sentences though. I am not avoiding any subjects; I do not think girls have to cover up more than boys. My son wears a long sleeve rashguard as well as my daughers wearing rashguards as well as two piece tankinis. i don't want to see the underwear of man, woman, or child in public but I don't judge parents who don't do shorts under dresses. We can agree to disagree on this but don't blame me for random interactions you have had at the pool.

I am not blaming you for random interaction nor do I blame you for something else. I just used it as example and don't see it as random case but more of the norm here. I moved in the US 10+ years ago and have raised three kids here. I had many conversations with other (mostly immigrant) moms on this subject and they have similar impression. My MIL was here on the beach 30+ years and someone called police because kids of her friend were naked. I can't stand that kind of judgment/ behavior here( I mean in US not on this board). It is very rigid,conservative and wrong on so many levels.
I am very glad that this article was brought up and could not agree more with the autor.

[calebsmama03]

I really do think we are talking about two different concerns here. I agree with the PP's who have brought up the sun protection angle -- my sister lived in Australia for 5 years right out of college and honestly, her experience there probably was my first learning experience about sun protection. Up until then, we maybe used "Sea and Ski" cream, but we also used a ton of baby oil and even Crisco to help get color. I haven't had any moles removed (do get them checked) but my mother has (she was also a sun worshipper). So I do not disagree, of course, with anyone's wearing clothing to protect themselves, and their kiddos, from the sun.

But I think the second concern, and probably that which the underlying article and the OP were driving at, is a perception (maybe accurate, maybe not, reasonable minds can differ) that girls should be more modest because they are girls. On that front, my DD wears bikeshorts probably b/c they are trendy and everyone else is wearing them, but not because she is modest. And she wears bikinnis and very high cut shorts. Again here, I think reasonable minds can differ, but my parenting choice is to not discourage bikinnis or anything else she wants to wear, honestly. Again, others make different parenting choices and that's fine too.

One can be ok with bikinnis and girls using immodest fashion trends for expression and still want sun protection.

I don't see it as implying girls need to be MORE modest than boys just because they are girls. FTR, I wouldn't let my sons hang upside down on monkey bars wearing loose shorts with boxers under and showing their bits either! If my son wanted to wear a kilt- or a skirt- I'd tell him he also needs bike shorts under it if he's running around and climbing things. It's just a function of the types of clothing boys and girls prefer to wear that there are more opportunities for "immodesty" or wardrobe malfunctions in female fashion (plus we have 2 "private areas" so double the chances right there). I also don't think there is any article of clothing for adult males that was specifically designed for (and culturally represents) that same "sexualized" concept as things like skimpy (string, etc) bikinis and stiletto heels and ultra short skirts do for women (not sure I'm wording that to make sense?). Even the "speedo" is not necessarily a "sexy" thing- most women find it laughable rather than sexy- and is more designed for non drag in swimming competition.