"You get what you get and you don't throw a fit"

[bisous]

What is your take on this phrase?

I'll tell you I hate it, but cannot figure out exactly why? Does it just totally bother anyone else? I think what is odd is that I don't necessarily disagree with the sentiment behind the statement--that you shouldn't be totally picky about particulars when you are part of a group experience. But the phrase... It just grates!

[mackmama]

We have a book where a parent says "You get what you get, and you don't get upset." Then the next line of the child is "But I was upset!" So my DC now responds that way if anyone ever says the phrase. I actually like the general meaning (fairness, being grateful for what you get and not getting upset when you don't get everything you want) although the whole suppression of emotions thing is not something I want to teach in general.

[elektra]

I like it, myself. It's not something I use all the time but when my kids are being ridiculous, and fighting over the minimal size difference of something I have just served the, I have pulled out this term. They seem to respond to it too, so I go with it!

[lmwbasye]

We have a book where a parent says "You get what you get, and you don't get upset." Then the next line of the child is "But I was upset!" So my DC now responds that way if anyone ever says the phrase. I actually like the general meaning (fairness, being grateful for what you get and not getting upset when you don't get everything you want) although the whole suppression of emotions thing is not something I want to teach in general.

I don't mind it. I don't usually say it, but that's just because I never remember this expression. I don't see the PP's expression as suppressing emotions, but responding appropriately. It is fine to be upset, but "throwing a fit" is not appropriate. That being said, I'm not sure that this phrase would sit as well with me as it does say "don't get upset." Well, adults even would have a hard time with that one.

[Mamabear4]

Ha ha ha - this phrase is my pet peeve as written in OP, but not for the meaning behind it, but merely because it doesn't technically rhyme - 'get' and 'fit'. I'm on a one-woman mission to get all my southern friends to use the "you get what you get and don't get upset" phrase instead (if they are going to use the phrase at all).

[o_mom]

What is your take on this phrase?

I'll tell you I hate it, but cannot figure out exactly why? Does it just totally bother anyone else? I think what is odd is that I don't necessarily disagree with the sentiment behind the statement--that you shouldn't be totally picky about particulars when you are part of a group experience. But the phrase... It just grates!

I use it occasionally as a quick reminder. I will probably pull it out today for a school book exchange for DS3. In think tone and delivery are a big part of it (as with many things). I can see it being used in a taunting way as kind of a "too bad, so sad" or "sucks to be you" way and I would not like that. But a gentle prep for an occasion where not everyone is getting the same thing is different, IMO.

ETA: Here in the Midwest, get and fit are a close enough rhyme to work. Also, I do not like the upset version... OK to be upset, not OK to throw a fit over minor things where this would be used....knowing when to throw a fit is part of growing up.

[liz]

My kids came home with "you get what you get and don't get upset" from pre-school. We might say it when someone gets upset about getting a blue cup instead of the green cup they wanted. Doesn't seem to bother them when we say it, but I can see how it can be annoying.

[KrisM]

I don't like it with 'upset', but don't mind it with 'fit'. I think you are allowed to be upset and you just need to express that correctly, which is not having a fit. For example - as a birthday party favor, you get a red balloon and wanted a blue balloon. Sure, be upset that you didn't get blue and maybe try to trade someone for blue, but do not throw a fit about it!

[egoldber]

Also, I do not like the upset version... OK to be upset, not OK to throw a fit over minor things where this would be used....knowing when to throw a fit is part of growing up.

Exactly. Your feelings are what they are. But not throwing a fit even when things don't go your way is an important skill.

[janine]

Don't love it, but don't hate it. Seems a bit dictatorial and I think there are more effective ways of making the point, but if I heard it once in a while it would be ok. I agree the "don't get upset" version is a bit dismissive of feelings but sometimes you do need to stop a meltdown in the moment!

One phrase I hate (not parenting related) is "it is what it is". Yeuch.