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  1. #21
    basil is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Ugh, this is a sore subject for me. Like OP, I like cooking and trying new dishes, and I have a certain idea of what I think is appropriate for a holiday meal. My family is very adventurous.

    However, my SIL in the last 2 years doesn't eat "cute" animals (so no beef, lamb, duck, cornish hen, etc.) but chicken and turkey and seafood are acceptable. DH and I are honestly about 90% vegetarian, so I get where she's coming from, but think it's silly to be absolute about it.

    BIL has an undiagnosed eating disorder and will eat very little...cereal, plain rice, plain baked potatoes, plain chicken breast or lobster. So we almost always end up buying him a lobster which he sometimes eats and sometimes doesn't. (on the times he doesn't, he complains that dinner was served too late for him to eat...)

    DB and I were brainstorming ideas for Christmas dinner to take into account these restrictions, since our tradition is prime rib. We thought of lobster mac and cheese, but FIL informed us he doesn't like cheese!

    I know others disagree but I think it's honestly so so rude to go to someone's house and have requirements for what is served outside of true allergies or religious requirements. I'm so tempted to buy 4 Costco chickens and bake 10 pounds of potatoes and drink 17 bottles of wine ;-)
    DS- 8/11
    DD- 5/14

  2. #22
    o_mom is offline Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    I think your menu is fine. It looks like everyone will have enough to eat. Broil up a piece of prime rib for MIL and call it good.

    I am kind of in the middle of this. While it is rude to demand the whole menu be your way, I feel it is equally rude to say "If you don't like what I make, don't eat" and not take your guests preferences into account at all. This menu seems to be a a good balance in between.

    I also feel that a family meal should not be exclusionary and I strongly feel that ILs are family, not guests (in spite of my extended family's feeling on the subject). I totally get what Beth said above about the uncomfortableness of trying to navigate a meal where there is nothing beyond the bread you would voluntarily eat. Having to explain why all you have on your plate is very small servings of one or two things... What to say when someone asks how you like the oyster dressing, etc.
    Mama to three boys ('03, '05, '07)

  3. #23
    brittone2 is offline Blue Diamond level (20,000+ posts)
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    I try to accommodate as much as I can, but I also feel when people are excessively picky, they should consider bringing a dish they feel safe with, iykwim.
    Last edited by brittone2; 12-20-2014 at 12:58 PM.
    Mama to DS-2004
    DD-2006
    and a new addition-ds born march 2010

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