S/o: what are you doing to prepare your kids for college?

[MelissaTC]

We have been supportive of his interests and encourage him to pursue activities. He plays several instruments and loves being in band. He is also on his middle school's battle of the books team. He loves the competition. M volunteers at the media center at school and is on his way to earning his black belt in TKD. We are lucky to live near three major universities and he has participated in programs at all three as well as a summer music program at another in a neighboring county. He is not over scheduled and still has time to play hockey in the cul-de-sac and Minecraft with the kids in the neighborhood.

[schrocat]

We are considering sending the kids overseas for college where extracurriculars don't matter.

[smilequeen]

Beyond cultivating a strong work ethic and giving them the opportunity to explore extracurricular activities they love (music, sports, drama) - absolutely nothing. I want my kids to be well rounded and hardworking. I am confident that they will be successful, and will have no problem getting into college.

That.
I'm giving them the opportunities but the rest is up to them. Im not about to get mixed up in competitive BS. They are bright and capable kids and they will be perfectly fine.

[cilantromapuche]

I should add that I fully support my child saying he wants a technical training instead.

http://www.wsj.com/articles/the-140-...job-1420659586

My kid needs to own his degree. They will have to work to save towards it so that they have a sense of ownership. We are planning on going the college counselor route because I have not heard one person regret using one. They work with the kids to keep them organize, discuss different schools, studying strategies and help them apply for scholarships. It beats us hounding them and is like therapy.

[bisous]

I think your question is very reasonable! I'm glad you asked it. My oldest is in 5th grade. It isn't necessarily time to start thinking about college....but at the same time I need to think through my feelings towards college attendance and the message that I'm sending to my kids. I need to determine what I really want for them. In some ways, it isn't so much about doors I want to open but about what doors I want to make sure I don't close?? Does that make sense? I believe in following my kids' passions but I also think parents are pretty good about providing opportunities and guidance on roads less traveled. I haven't figured all this stuff out yet!

My overarching thought these days is that I need to help my kids figure out who they are and what they can contribute and then figure out a plan to keep as many doors open as possible. I noticed in the other thread that some posters mentioned that they or a sibling was admitted to a premiere institution and it wasn't a fit. It would be much harder to go the other way!

I know myself, pressuring my kids to get into Harvard just isn't going to happen at my house. Instead I need to examine if my "laidback" attitude is impeding them from establishing the life that would be best for them. One of my children needs low pressure, needs down time, is brilliant but will need a career that doesn't carry too much stress. Another one of my kids rises to the occasion with every challenge I throw at him. I worry about not tapping into all of his potential. I see him really grow and thrive with challenge. Both kids have needs and they are very different! I haven't figured out DS3 (he's 3) let alone DD (only 1yo) yet, lol!

So I like the discussion. Please carry on!

[gatorsmom]

I don't think your question was ridiculous at all. I just had two nieces get accepted into their first choice schools - one is going to Cornell and the other to James Madison. Both sets of parents did much much more than my parents did for all of us (one who also went to Cornell) as the college application process has changed dramatically since I applied in 1987. I do think it will have changed again by the time my child applies in 2024 bc this bubble of kids will have passed, yet the colleges will have accommodated for larger groups of students.

Thank you. . My parents didn't go to college so I was completely on my own when it came time to choose colleges. I'm hoping to give my kids better preparation than I had so they go into the experience with confidence.

[egoldber]

I think it's a good question too. Like you, neither of my parents went to college. So I had to learn everything on my own along with the intermittent help of a quasi interested older sibling.

When your kids are young, you don't necessarily need to think about college. But as they get older, I think there is definitely a place for encouraging them to explore their interests in various ways and suggesting opportunities that may help them learn about their passions AND help them create a resume for colleges.

I focus on older DD because she is much closer to college. I don't want to push things on her, but I also don't want her to miss things that I think she might enjoy or would help her decide if a career path is for her or not.

[KrisM]

Right now, the only thing I've really done is look ahead to middle school for DS1. I know he needs to be in honors math and honors Chinese next year. So, a year or so ago, when he was in 4th, I looked up those requirements. I don't want to be caught by surprise. He and I talked about what he needs to continue to do to make sure those classes are available for him to take. Probably in 6th grade, I'll start looking at high school and making sure I know what's going on there.

Otherwise, I offer them different extra curricular activities, but we do limit. They've all tried a few things. We talk to them about the future in general terms, but more than for college, we talk about learning to be a responsible adult.

[Momit]

I also feel that I'm preparing my child for life, not for college in particular. I do often talk about the future "when you go to college..." with him, so he knows what's on the horizon. He knows that what he currently wants to be when he grows up will require more schooling after college. But I want him to experience sports, art/music, travel, learning a foreign language, volunteer work, developing study skills and work habits etc. because it will make him a better person, not specifically with college in mind.

[gatorsmom]

Thanks a lot to those of you who have contributed to the thread. This has really provided some great food for thought!

My DS2 is bright and creative but would never win any leadership awards. He is also not competitive at all and hates most extracurricular activities. But he is incredibly self-driven. He usually has several experiments and projects he's working on at any one time. He has a funny personality but he really doesn't like reaching out beyond his core of friends. I worry about how to make him attractive as a college applicant because he's just such an introvert.

I struggle with helping all 4 of my kids flesh out the activities they are really drawn to. Dd is not sure whether she really loves ballet or gymnastics. Or both. But I can't get all 4 kids in all the activities they are interested in because the amount of driving and planning is already killing me! I seriously suspect my DS1 would do best in academics and he talks sometimes about becoming a college- level history teacher. If he is seriously about that, then I suspect from the other thread that he'll need to get into a top university for undergrad and grad. I think that is something I should steering him for now.

Our grade school and high school do not teach any living languages. When the kids graduate they'll be fluent in Latin and Greek. So I'm homeschooling my kids French. I'm doing this almost entirely to help them out in college. I have a minor in French and I'm fluent so it's an easy subject for me to teach but honestly, I rarely use it. But I'm assuming most universities still require a certain amount is credits spent on a (living ) foreign language so I'm teaching it to them now to eliminate some of that stress later.

There are some great ideas here. We have not done enough volunteering either and with my 95yo great aunt in a nursing home, we should be visiting that home and my aunt much more often. There is no excuse for not spending more time with her and the other residents. That should be a priority.