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  1. #11
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    I have a 6th grade boy and if a coach was talking to him and his friends like that I would be *pissed*. The running isn't so much an issue (though if their skills are not the best, the practice time would definitely be better spent running drills and perfecting plays rather than simply running laps as "punishment" for not playing well....) but I'd have a huge problem with that attitude. It sounds like this is just a rec league if they take beginners? For a competitive league perhaps that kind of coaching is within the bounds of normal but for a rec league with beginners? No freaking way. No one puts their kid in a rec league expecting them to come out the next star in the sport- there are paid competitive leagues for that kind of intensity. I'd say something to the person in charge of the league and suggest to the coach that their practice time is best spent PRACTICING and LEARNING rather than being punished.

    ETA: for perspective, my son is kind of a "jack of all trades, master of none" in sports. He plays and is good at baseball (doing competitive league in this)and soccer, and has done beginner rec basketball and now wants to try Lacrosse, so we've had experience in many different types of teams and leagues.

  2. #12
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    We have a great coach who says you can be "fit or smart." As in pay attention and not talk or run. He says it in a nice way and the kids respond. He isn't hysterical about winning, but will say get heads in the game and playing like crap isn't in his lexicon but that doesn't sound that awful depending on he he says it. I would talk to my kid about how coaches sometimes try to motivate and to have a thick skin. If I saw anything I thought was over the line I would say something. But what the OP said seems pretty normal for 6th grade sports. It is middle school here and it doesn't seem too out of line.

  3. #13
    JamiMac is offline Platinum level (1000+ posts)
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    For a sixth grade team? To me this is totally normal. I wouldn't love it but by 6th grade most kids around here would have been playing for years. I, personally, like coaches that don't insult, but motivate. This doesn't sound all that bad though for the age, to me.


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  4. #14
    Binkandabee is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    For those that have suggested a rec league....this is in a rec league run through a church. I don't mind that she has them running at all, it's just the threatening way it was delivered.
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  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Binkandabee View Post
    For those that have suggested a rec league....this is in a rec league run through a church. I don't mind that she has them running at all, it's just the threatening way it was delivered.
    It is pretty normal to say you will run a ton at the next practice if the coach feels like the team isn't giving it their all. I think it is a good chance for the pre-teens to toughen up a little and try not to cry and really hustle even if they don't win. It is a good skill to be able to deal with less sensitive people like the coach,who don't care if they are especially sensitive, and at sixth grade this is a good time to be exposed and doesn't sound too harsh. Make sure she knows her roll and what the coach wants her to do (work on shorting, rebounding or what). I hope she has fun. This is my fifth graders first year playing basketball and he's not particularly great but tall and is able to rebound, and he's pretty sensitive too, but he's having fun. I hope your daughter starts to have some fun. I wouldn't give up on it this early!

  6. #16
    Binkandabee is offline Sapphire level (2000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by HannaAddict View Post
    It is pretty normal to say you will run a ton at the next practice if the coach feels like the team isn't giving it their all. I think it is a good chance for the pre-teens to toughen up a little and try not to cry and really hustle even if they don't win. It is a good skill to be able to deal with less sensitive people like the coach,who don't care if they are especially sensitive, and at sixth grade this is a good time to be exposed and doesn't sound too harsh. Make sure she knows her roll and what the coach wants her to do (work on shorting, rebounding or what). I hope she has fun. This is my fifth graders first year playing basketball and he's not particularly great but tall and is able to rebound, and he's pretty sensitive too, but he's having fun. I hope your daughter starts to have some fun. I wouldn't give up on it this early!
    I understand the running part, completely. The thing about last night in particular, they were playing the best they ever had (they scored their first basket and their first free throw....like I said....they aren't particularly good or experienced yet, even for 6th graders and this isn't a school level league). And yet, this was the night that she was harder on them than she has ever been.

    She does have fun at the games when she's not being yelled at or threatened. I think what I will probably do is switch her to a different league, maybe at the YMCA as someone else suggested. She'll probably never be good enough to play on a high school team, but she enjoys it and she gets exercise so I'd like to find a team/coach that may be a better fit. She'll finish out this season and I'll see what I can do for the Spring/Summer.
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  7. #17
    niccig is offline Clean Sweep forum moderator
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    Quote Originally Posted by Binkandabee View Post
    For those that have suggested a rec league....this is in a rec league run through a church. I don't mind that she has them running at all, it's just the threatening way it was delivered.
    There are different types of rec leagues. Ask around and see if someone knows of a better fit. And even within a league you can have problem coaches. Like I said upthread, we've got the problem coach 2 years in a row for baseball. I've called the head the league and insisted on DS being swapped as soon as the roster was known, I won't have him on a team where the coach throws a screaming tantrum because they lost.
    Last edited by niccig; 02-01-2015 at 03:22 AM.

  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Binkandabee View Post
    I understand the running part, completely. The thing about last night in particular, they were playing the best they ever had (they scored their first basket and their first free throw....like I said....they aren't particularly good or experienced yet, even for 6th graders and this isn't a school level league). And yet, this was the night that she was harder on them than she has ever been.

    She does have fun at the games when she's not being yelled at or threatened. I think what I will probably do is switch her to a different league, maybe at the YMCA as someone else suggested. She'll probably never be good enough to play on a high school team, but she enjoys it and she gets exercise so I'd like to find a team/coach that may be a better fit. She'll finish out this season and I'll see what I can do for the Spring/Summer.
    That sounds like a good plan!

  9. #19
    gatorsmom is online now Pink Diamond level (15,000+ posts)
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    Quote Originally Posted by egoldber View Post
    This is why my kids hate sports teams. And why I hated them as a kid. I think this is totally normal and is typical. I can see how some kids find this motivating and I am sure that is the goal, but for many kids it is a total turn off.
    ITA. I experienced that kind of coaching and absolutely hated it. It's why I stayed away from sports in high school. With the exception of DS1 who lets this stuff roll off his back, my kids hate this too. I imagine, if the kids are totally dedicated to the sport and to winning, it's probably an effective way of coaching.
    " I object to violence because when it appears to do good, the good is only temporary; the evil it does is permanent." Mahatma Gandhi

    "This is the ultimate weakness of violence: It multiplies evil and violence in the universe. It doesn't solve any problems." Martin Luther King, Jr.

  10. #20
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    DD is in 4th grade and I think the sports took a big jump forward in seriousness this year. For example, they moved to regulation size balls in basketball, and from 8 foot to 10 foot hoops, and have an extra practice a week. We haven't yet had a mean coach, but they are more serious, and we are definitely moving away from equal playing time to more playing time for the better kids. Some of the kids are quite good and have already been playing for four to five years.

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