I am so incredibly frustrated! ADHD - psychiatrist/psychologist issues UPDATE #15

[Binkandabee]

UPDATE IN #15.

So, I went to the appointment with the psychiatrist today. He did a cursory look at the information from the psychologist (who is a specialist in adhd) and said, I am seeing anxiety NOT adhd. His reason was that I did fine in school. He said adhd is lifelong and you don't just get it as an adult. Ugh! He prescribed Prozac (which I have taken in the past and it DID help with the constant feeling of frustration and the irritability....but looking back, did nothing for my ability to not get overwhelmed with household tasks, my chronic procrastion, etc.). I don't know what to do. I really don't. I don't know who is right. Any suggestions?

[kdeunc]

So sorry you are struggling. I think in a previous post I mentioned you sound a lot like me and I think I have ADHD and am trying to figure out which direction to go for a diagnosis. I did just fine in school too. I would approach the psychiatrist again or try to get in with another. For what its worth my 10 year old with ADHD makes straight As and reads years above his grade level. That does not mean he doesn't need medication. It means he is struggling in other areas and is able to compensate. His meds make a world of difference. Best of luck!

[Indianamom2]

I'm so sorry. You and I (and apparently Kelly!) sound alike. In school, I got straight A's and almost maintained that in college as well, through a very challenging major. But what I have learned through dealing with what is most definitely ADHD with DD is that ADHD looks vastly different for girls/women than it does for most boys/men. Add in a girl/woman who is very smart and I think it most often gets overlooked or diagnosed as something else...primarily anxiety, because of course you get anxious when you are very smart and you know what you need to do, but you just can't focus worth a hoot to get it done.

I know this will be difficult to find, but if you can find a female ADHD psychiatrist (or one who specializes in ADHD in women) I bet you'll get a more accurate diagnosis. Because what Kelly mentioned about her son getting good grades with ADHD is absolutely true. My DD is also a very good student, but she's smart and she can still compensate pretty well (although with age, that's getting harder). Her young, inexperienced teacher has no clue that she is struggling as much as she is, but now that I know what to look for, it's pretty easy to see. It's also easy to see the difference that the right meds (and we've tried at least 4 now) can make.

Keep pushing for answers...you've got to be your own advocate here.

[echoesofspring]

I'm so sorry. You and I (and apparently Kelly!) sound alike. In school, I got straight A's and almost maintained that in college as well, through a very challenging major. But what I have learned through dealing with what is most definitely ADHD with DD is that ADHD looks vastly different for girls/women than it does for most boys/men. Add in a girl/woman who is very smart and I think it most often gets overlooked or diagnosed as something else...primarily anxiety, because of course you get anxious when you are very smart and you know what you need to do, but you just can't focus worth a hoot to get it done.

I know this will be difficult to find, but if you can find a female ADHD psychiatrist (or one who specializes in ADHD in women) I bet you'll get a more accurate diagnosis.

Keep pushing for answers...you've got to be your own advocate here.

I was going to post something similar. I don't have any advice, but I've been following your posts as I think I may have ADHD as well, and count me as another one who did really well in school. I would look push back, or look for a 2nd opinion, ideally with a female dr, or someone who specializes in ADHD in women/girls. (And I know that's a tall order given how hard it is to get in to see a psychiatrist.) I hope you're able to get some support/help soon!

[wellyes]

Not an expert, but.... it sounds like you have executive function issues. So perhaps working on that specifically would help you cope.

[Gracemom]

Add me to the list! This article was helpful for me: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2539.html
I would find an ADHD specialist and write down your challenges. I did well in school but being a mom is not like school. There isn't much structure, which is really hard. Think back about when you were young. Did you procrastinate, finish projects at the last minute? I did, and was able to get away with it because I was smart. I would tell the dr these symptoms to prove you did have it when you were younger. I haven't tried meds yet but I want to.

[robinsmommy]

Add me to the list! This article was helpful for me: http://www.additudemag.com/adhd/article/2539.html
I would find an ADHD specialist and write down your challenges. I did well in school but being a mom is not like school. There isn't much structure, which is really hard. Think back about when you were young. Did you procrastinate, finish projects at the last minute? I did, and was able to get away with it because I was smart. I would tell the dr these symptoms to prove you did have it when you were younger. I haven't tried meds yet but I want to.

Add me to the list, as well. I was just thinking the same thing - that being a SAHM is horrible for me, and that school worked because I had so much more structure. Even school and working part time worked better - my days had more of a pattern (limited times that were "free"), and without that, I find myself "drifting" more and more. I know that my inability to function well creates anxiety, stress, etc, which is part of why I think I didn't get a proper diagnosis when I was seeing therapists, psychologists, etc. I've pretty much given up on professionals for help, and keep trying to pull myself out. I've come to the conclusion that more than a few of the people in that field went into it because *they* are messed up themselves. I hope you can find the help you need - there are some good people out there who care and know what they are doing - the trick is finding them and getting in to see them. I think that people who are actually good in those fields burn out. To have enough empathy/knowledge to make one effective and caring would create a huge strain on a person, I would think.

As far as getting it as an adult - I do wonder if some of the anti-depressants I took changed my brain chemistry for the long-term and perhaps tipped the scale that last fraction of an ounce, combined with other factors.

[magnoliaparadise]

I agree with the others. Definitely change your psychiatrist and get a second opinion. You don't need to tell the second what the first said - let him/her make a diagnosis on his/her own.
My mom is a therapist so I have been open to therapy and met therapists all my life, either as family friends or a patient myself. What I will say is that social workers, psychologists, or psychiatrists are just like everyone else - some of them are great - and professional and helpful. And some of them are just HORRIBLE or dumb or well meaning, but always categorize people in the same way (eg always saying people have anxiety instead of adhd, etc). And some of them are great, but a really bad fit for YOU.
So, this is to say... I'd check out another psychiatrist.

[JCat]

Isn't making yourself anxious a way that some people with ADHD have of keeping themselves organized? Then when you finally stop making yourself anxious you realize there might be a problem! I wiould also go see another dr before taking meds.

[Binkandabee]

Thank you! I have exhausted my options as far as psychiatrists go who are in my network for insurance and who are close. I found one out of network two hours away who is a specialist in adult adhd, so I have an appointment with him in two weeks. I'm not going to cancel my follow up with the one I saw a few days ago, just in case this new one agrees it's anxiety and not adhd.

I did some research last night on anxiety vs. adhd....and I definitely DO have some anxiety, but its just a tinge and the symptoms don't line up nearly as perfectly like they do with adhd. And it's not the anxiety symptoms that are interfering with my life, it's the adhd symptoms. The Dr. earlier this week said he treats and anxiety first and adhd is just kind of on the back shelf. I honestly don't think I forgot to pick up my DD from daycare twice this past month because of anxiety. It's the distractability, forgetfulness, and inability to properly manage my busy life that is the real issue, I think. Anxiety is there, but it's secondary. At least that's how it "feels" to me.