Otoplasty - Plastic Surgery for Ears - pic added

[roobee]

Trust when I say that DS fully knows the state of his ears. If he stands with the sun at his back and the light hits him just right they absolutely glow like Rudolph's nose! He knows that when he puts a hat on he needs to take a second to be sure to tuck his ears up into his hat I seriously love his ears, they're soft and velvety like puppy ears! Right now they provide much joy - it's the future I'm concerned about. The reason I feel like having a consultation now is the way to go is because our family can gently tease about his ears and it's not a big deal at all. It's more like "come on, hurry up and get inside, can't let those EARS get cold!" followed by lots of head and ear rubs

He knows the deal and doesn't feel bad, I don't think he'd think twice about a visit to the Dr. now. If I wait until he gets teased then there's a whole lot of emotion and self-esteem tied up in an appointment like that. And I'm guaranteed to cry about it no matter what!

I do need to know the costs and options available to me too. I saw two amounts posted here, between 5k and 11k, that's a significant amount for our family. Much more than 15k and this isn't an option for us. Or maybe he's not a good candidate for a procedure, or maybe I'm not comfortable with the risks. I won't know unless I ask, and I feel like the right thing to do is to just look into it so I can tuck the information away if we need it later.

[jse107]

I respectfully disagree. Here's why. If YOU take your son to the surgeon, and the surgeon examines his ears, and he gets even the tiniest sense that he's there because his ears are problematic, then YOU have been the one to clue him in that there is something about him that needs to be fixed. This happened with my mother and my sister, and it caused pretty serious repercussions. No child should feel that his mother, of all people, thinks he is anything less than adorable. Of course you DO think he is adorable, and I'm not criticizing. I'm just offering another perspective. If, on the other hand, he comes to you some day and says, "I wish my ears weren't so big," or any other similar comment, you can say, "Well, if you want your ears to look different, we can see if that's possible. I bet it is." Then you are helping him make a positive, wanted change in his appearance. It seems like a much better, emotionally safer scenario to me. You're not going to let him endure constant teasing. The first time he has a negative ear-related experience, you can have the conversation with him. If he goes ahead with the surgery, he'll have a sense of confidence that he solved a problem for himself. If he doesn't, he'll know that it's his choice to keep his ears the way they are, and the teasing won't scar him. In either scenario, he will have identified whether there is a problem and whether he wants to address it, and you will have done nothing but help him carry out his wishes. I really think that's best, though I completely understand the impulse to want to shield him from even the comments that are happening now and he's not hearing and from that first, painful experience of teasing, but I wouldn't. I'd wait.

Having grappled with this myself, I would say that at no point has my DD thought that we didn't think she was anything less than perfect to us. In fact, the plastic surgeon at Children's said he advises doing it before they are teased or made to feel self-conscious by their peers. He has over 35 years in the field and only works with pediatric patients. Even now, DD talks about her ear surgery matter-of-factly (age 7) and is happy it was done.

We have not regretted it for one second. As someone who has BTDT, I would ABSOLUTELY have the consult.

[roobee]

I just want wanted to say that I've loved all the nice comments about DS! Thank you! It's a little hard to hear people agree that looking into surgery might be a good idea. IRL everyone says "oh, NO! He'll grow into his ears, I don't see anything wrong!" Even that Ped kind of poo-pooed my concern. So even though it's hard to hear, I really appreciate the honesty!

And here's another photo of both my kids (it's another good ear shot!)

RandI.jpg

[zukeypur]

I didn't say to myself "oh my, those are big ears" when i saw the picture, and even less so with the second picture. I honestly think they look completely normal. However, i do have a family friend whose daughter had ears that stuck waaaay out. She had surgery either late in high school or soon after. In her case, it was an absolute no-brainer.

[citymama]

He's adorable. I don't even see an issue with his ears - all of us have *something* like that that is a little bigger or smaller or different from the norm, and they make us unique, not unattractive. It's not anywhere as noticeable as Jay Leno's chin, or Obama's ears. Both of which I find endearing and humanizing. Braces are different, they are both medically necessary as well as cosmetic, but don't require surgery. I would not do any surgery, he can as an adult if he wants to.

[megs4413]

Having grappled with this myself, I would say that at no point has my DD thought that we didn't think she was anything less than perfect to us. In fact, the plastic surgeon at Children's said he advises doing it before they are teased or made to feel self-conscious by their peers. He has over 35 years in the field and only works with pediatric patients. Even now, DD talks about her ear surgery matter-of-factly (age 7) and is happy it was done.

We have not regretted it for one second. As someone who has BTDT, I would ABSOLUTELY have the consult.

this exactly. i've got two kids affected by cleft lip and palate. this is always what our plastic surgeons have said.

[daisysmom]

this exactly. i've got two kids affected by cleft lip and palate. this is always what our plastic surgeons have said.

My daughter had a large hemangioma birthmark on her cheek that was compound (so a red mark the size of a nickel, but also a growth under neath about the size of 1/2 a golf ball). We had surgery on it when she was 4, though pediatricians and conventional wisdom at that time all said that it would most likely disappear by the time she was 10. I haven't regretted the surgery for a second... in hindsight I wish that we had done it sooner (probably only because I heard a hundred times over her four years "what's wrong with her cheek"). I strongly disagree that we ever conveyed a sense that she was anyhting less than perfect to her. We had the most amazing pediatric plastic surgeon and worked with her for almost a year -- she and the group we used led us through all of this very well.

One other thing, my best friend from college and lawschool married a guy with big ears, and has had 4 sons who all have the same large stick-out ears. One daughter has her mother's ears. I know that she is considering surgery for them. The dad played football and had such a large personality that his ears were just who he was, but the boys are more sensitive (or maybe this generation is more vocal about differences).

[Snow mom]

I didn't say to myself "oh my, those are big ears" when i saw the picture, and even less so with the second picture. I honestly think they look completely normal. However, i do have a family friend whose daughter had ears that stuck waaaay out. She had surgery either late in high school or soon after. In her case, it was an absolute no-brainer.

I agree with this. I think he has such a warm smile that that's where my eyes go in the picture. I wouldn't look at either picture and think there is something to be fixed. Even knowing that this thread is about his ears I still don't see a huge problem that needs surgical correction. I agree with your assessment though about knowledge being power and that his personality/temperament won't take the visit to a surgeon poorly. I imagine any pediatric cosmetic surgeon worth anything knows how to not make a child feel bad during an evaluation. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[flashy09]

I have changed my mind about 10x reading all the responses! But I think my final vote is to wait. His picture is adorable and I think his ears add to the cuteness. I honestly don't think he is going to get teased terribly. The ears don't detract from his cuteness and add a lot of character. Maybe it's not generic Gap baby model with the ears and he totally would be with the surgery, but I would keep him "as is" unless he really seems to be terribly self conscious about it.

[Jen841]

My son has had 10 medically necessary major ear surgeries (tumors). Surgery is tough on your body, I would not do something like this as elective.