Am I a meanie?

[Simon]

But its 9 hours overnight + ? hours of nap for total sleep. My own 3 yo isn't ready for sleep until closer to 8 pm if he has any kind of a nap.

I don't think the crib is a problem, but I do think that since he is in a crib and can't help himself to things he needs, you should provide a water bottle he can reach. Also, if Dh doesn't mind responding to him, then it can be Dh's job. At that age, I have kids who take a small drink several times before bed, but don't need me for it because they have open access. I also wouldn't bother to make any major changes if you are moving soon.

[basil]

DH is sometimes not home before he goes to bed. DS will normally wait up for DH in his crib on those nights though, in which case he won't fall asleep until after 8:30 or so. If he sleeps from 8-5 and naps for an hour, that's still only 10 hours which is at the low end of range for a 3 year old.

Gosh, I can only imagine what he'd do with a water bottle! Probably would end up calling us up after he wet down all his toys, bedding and pjs

[AustenFan]

We give our kids one chance to leave the room (bathroom, etc), and after that, they're in trouble. Also, we put them down at 7:30 but allow them to have lights on until 8:30 (but they have to stay in their room). They think they're getting a treat to "stay up late," but we are really just winding them down before the real sleep time of 8:30. Maybe a combo of those approaches (one call in to mom and dad, then you get ignored, or something like that?) might work?

And CIO worked well for us when they were still in cribs, but we do it a lot younger, so you'll definitely be looking at a longer process if you're undoing three years of habits. It was worth it to us, but you have to go in with realistic expectations, IMO, for it to work. It might not be best for your situation if DH is not on board.

[daisysmom]

I wouldn't mind him dropping his nap, but he's in preschool/daycare, and they nap, so I can't really make him drop it.

I would see if they could switch him to quiet time. When my dd started delaying bedtime/not being able to fall asleep within 5 minutes or so, we dropped the nap. She was just 3 but I read up on it here, and it worked great.

[mackmama]

I would do away with the nap asap. Maybe he could just have quiet time at preschool instead? You mentioned toys are in the crib. If those are true toys, I'd remove them. Just leave stuffed animals/lovies. I'd also start instituting a one-visit rule. Now with DC (who also calls us back again and again), I now say "This is the last time, and now I'm not coming back until the morning." DC now understands.

[Giantbear]

get rid of that nap. DD gave it up at that age and was in daycare, they just gave her something quiet to play with. Aside from the routine of it, i am guessing that he is just not tired due to the nap.

[westwoodmom04]

I would see if they could switch him to quiet time. When my dd started delaying bedtime/not being able to fall asleep within 5 minutes or so, we dropped the nap. She was just 3 but I read up on it here, and it worked great.

If this is a possibility, I would do this. My oldest gave up her nap as soon as she turned 3. He might also sleep later in the morning without nap.

[MamaMolly]

I don't think you are a meanie, but if you're going to do it you both need to be on board. You do have to be prepared to tough it out. I'd be seriously annoyed with DH for giving in after an hour. All your DS gets from that is to fuss for an hour plus and dad will cave. I'd make DH in charge of stair running for a while and see if they can both learn something from it.

[123LuckyMom]

I agree that you and your DH have to be on the same page. I also think going cold turkey is tough. We do "checks" in our house. I tell DD I will check on her in ten minutes, but only if she is totally quiet and doesn't call for me. I then do check in ten minutes if she's quiet. I do increasing time checks, so I will go in after ten minutes, then after 15, then after 20, but it's rare that I get beyond the second check. Usually, the need to be quiet leads to sleep! I also let my kids fall asleep to music or audiobooks.

[Liziz]

Not a meanie! We do it with our 3 year old DD. She gets one "callback" (where we'll go to her if she calls) and that's it. If you only tried it a single night, and have a strong willed child, I'm not shocked he called for a long time. If you're going to do it though, you and DH both have to be committed to it, because if he calls for an hour and then your DH goes in....well, he'll keep up his stamina! My DD still occasionally tests our rule -- it's like she has to test it out once a month or so. When I've caved on the rule, it just starts getting worse....but if I stick with it, it lasts a night or two and then it's like she decides we still mean it, and goes to sleep when we put her down. And I desperately need my short no-child evening too, so I get that need!!!