Does your SO attend non-routine appts for your child?

[AnnieW625]

My DH handles standard and non routine appts. if for some reason I can't. He has handled the ped., the dentist, the ENT, urgent care, and the orthopedist, the same doctors I have. We both work full time outside the home though so we have always shared that duty once I went back to work (when both of my girls were four months old). When DD1 needed speech therapy and tubes surgery he attended the initial visit, the surgery, and then when she had twice weekly speech therapy class we each took 3 hours a week for six months while she completed the speech therapy.

Both my DH and I work for the state government and have monthly sick leave hours that roll over so DH has over two months of sick leave banked (plus about 7 weeks of vacation) and I have about a month of sick leave and much less vacation (as I have to take 60-90 minutes of vacation each time he is out of town for work because I don't get to work until 8:30 and have to leave by 4:30 at the latest as I have a 45-60 minute commute some afternoons). Our jobs are pretty flexible unless my DH is traveling. My job doesn't involve travel.

[mmommy]

DH and I both work FT, but we have crossing schedules so whomever is working from home/home on the day of the appointment goes. Neither of us has flexibility to change our schedules much and generally we're ok with only one of us attending, but we haven't had too much beyond regular doctors visits. I will admit to trying to schedule things on my days with the kids just so I don't have to pull every detail out of DH with targeted questions. He tends to be ok and get the relevant information, but he isn't gifted in sharing it without lots of questions and I hate having to drag info out of him. We're hardly ever both there for anything.

[carolinacool]

The only non-routine appointments we've had are for two speech evals, and yes DH attended. But we both go to nearly everything-- routine checkups and dental appointments. DH has handled more last-minute sick appointments on his own. I can only think of one time I took DS to the doctor alone, and that was just to get a flu shot.

I apologize if this question is aimed at SAHMs.

[PZMommy]

Nope. My DS has chronic health issues. He does not take time off for appointments. He needs to save those days for when DS is sick and needs to be home.

[twowhat?]

No. DH and I both have very demanding FT jobs. When our kids have appointments, we determine who can handle them with the least impact to our current work schedules/demands and like PPs it also depends on the severity of the issue.

I took the kids to their last well-check. DH took them to their last TWO dentist appointments (one of which required a couple hours for filling cavities). We both took them to their surgeries (since that was a big deal), but DH will be taking them to post-op on his own because I have jury duty and I've run out of deferrals.

It's a juggle...but I can't imagine requiring him to be present at every non-routine appointment!

eta: we both have "use it or lose it" PTO days. And one other thought - if my DH didn't show any interest in these things for our kids then I would probably be upset about it and make him attend or handle some of these appointments. Because I expect him to be interested! But since he's very much an equal partner and IS interested (sometimes even more than I want him to be, LOL!), it's not an issue. He volunteers to do most things for the kids when he's not traveling because his work schedule is a bit more flexible than mine.

[ellies mom]

It depends. My husband works a compressed schedule so I usually try to schedule most things on his days off. Whether or not he takes time off for an appointment depends on the importance.

[mikala]

Nope. I'm a SAHM and generally handle it all. He came to my (standard) ultrasounds while pregnant and I think he's taken the kids to a sick appointment while I was sicker at home but that's unusual. He would try to come if it was for something more major and would be there if at all possible. We've been lucky to not have much serious illness so this hasn't come up much.

[gymnbomb]

If it were something where I thought I would need emotional support or if his input during the appointment would be very important I would ask him to go and he would probably be able to find a way to. But he doesn't get a lot of days off so we try to save them for times when they are really needed. That said, we both have days at work when our schedules are very flexible and days when they are not (mine in a more predictable way than his). So I think last fall he took DS in for one of his flu shots because the ped was only offering them during hours I couldn't go, but other than that I have handled all of the appointments since DS was about a month old.

[bcafe]

No, the only non-routine thing that has happened is that DS2 broke his elbow/arm. DH didn't even come to the hospital because he was home with the other kids. When our neighbor generously offered to take the other kids so DH could come to the hospital, he ended up going into a work meeting.

[Philly Mom]

We both work. I schedule appointments for my calendar. DH was there when both kids got tubes and he was in and out of the hospital during our latest stay for DD2's hypoglycemic testing. He was with DD1 for part of it and he had to stop at his office for part of it. He is awful in a hospital setting so I prefer doing it alone. He has never been there for one of DD2's EEGs a but he did go to a few of her neurology appointments, which happen immediately after. After a while, though it was too hard to schedule for both of us so I make it fit mine.