How should I respond to this?

[logan's mom]

My SIL sent me this text this morning: "because we were unable to do the fundraiser boys will have to purchase all their own equipment for football so if you would like to help with that instead of fundraiser, that would be awesome. Cost for each boy is $225."
Three of their four boys will be playing football.

I would like to help but I also don't want to be funding every sport they play for the rest of their life.
Both SIL and her husband work but they are also terrible with money- never save... own a camper, four wheeler and time share, eat out several times a week.

My husband makes good money but we are savers. We want to be able to pay for our kids college, pay off our house early, and be able to retire. We are currently living on a pretty tight budget so that we can redo our master bathroom without using our savings or adjusting the amount we save. SO WWYD... Poll coming

ETA: we have a pretty good relationship with SIL and family. We see them on Holidays at IL's house but not other than that. We sent their kids $ for their birthdays but they don't send our two anything ...not even a card : /

[HannaAddict]

That would be highly annoying. I have relatives who do that too and I don't get it, I would never ask for money like that and wasn't raised that way. Did she send a group text? I would send a modest amount like $100 total for all three boys if I felt I needed to preserve family relationships. Or zero. We have a niece who regularly sends out requests for $$ for her interests and we don't respond as she's college aged, we are not close to her and she spells our names wrong in her requests and they are not hard to spell! Sorry, that is annoying.

[MamaMolly]

You can't see if it's a group text? It's pretty bold, group or not.

That said, if you feel like giving them a little towards the cost, then I'd give no more than you would if you bought something from a fund raiser. I would be tempted to give a small amount, less than $50 total. It kind of says 'I'm going to give you just enough that you can't say I didn't help, but not enough to really make a big dent in the bill cause I'm not funding your kid's extracurriculars.'

[o_mom]

Her text is awkward, but I would give whatever you would have spent on a fundraiser. If you would have spent $30 on cookie dough or whatever, give that instead and be happy they are getting all the money instead of 10 percent and you don't have to deal with crappy products.

[KpbS]

I think it's kind of crazy asking other people to pay for your DC's extracurricular activities!!

I would politely say that you are on a budget and anticipate your own DC's school supplies and fees in a month.

If you feel you must contribute, I'd send a $30 check and be done with it.

[logan's mom]

It didn't come through as a group text but the wording is just a bit awkward compared to her normal texts and then immediately following it, she sent a separate text about something that I had mailed her a few weeks ago. I guess, I don't think it's a group text per say but I think she is copying and pasting it to several people.

[Simon]

If I liked the kids/value my relationship with the family then I might send the same amount I would have spent on the fundraiser. If I would not have otherwise bought anything, I'd likely send regrets. "Gee, that's too bad. Good luck."

[hillview]

Um totally off the ranch. I'd just ignore it personally and assume it was a group text. I feel like that is WAY over the line. If she asks again I'd commiserate with the cost of activities and wish her luck (and avoid really saying anything about giving her money).

[khalloc]

Unless you already talked to her about buying something from the fundraiser, I would just ignore it.

If you said you would buy something, I might give her $30 total. but nothing more. Its really not your responsibility. And if you do give a generous amount of money, they are going to expect it in the future.

[TwinFoxes]

I'd ask DH for his input at least.

That's such a weirdly worded email. If they were poor, or had suffered setbacks, I'd be more inclined to donate. But asking for donations because they are living high off the hog rubs me the wrong way. If I had missed the fundraiser, I would just pay for my kids' equipment myself. A team fundraiser is a team building exercise. This is just asking someone else to pay for your kids.

I wonder why they missed the fundraiser? Your description of them makes me think they just didn't participate, and then when they were told they'd have to pay their kids' bills as a result, they thought "uh oh."

To answer the question, I'd just respond with "wow, bummer! Good luck but we can't contribute."