How should I respond to this?

[ncat]

It sounds pretty obnoxious. I might offer to send an early birthday and/or Christmas present to the boys in the form of a check to be applied to equipment costs, but only to the level of what you would spend on them normally. And only because it would make your gift shopping easier for you and allow you to give the boys something they will use/enjoy.

[kristenk]

It is not clear that she CHOSE not to participate in the fundraiser. It could have been held on a weekend they are out of town or any other number of reasons.

However, I'm actually chuckling at your comment that if they did the fundraiser you would actually get something out of it.... overwhelmingly on this board (and IRL) parents say they are sick to death of over-priced fundraiser products. Most have expressed that they would rather have a straight up donation campaign than buy trashbags, pizzas, cookie dough, wrapping paper, etc. so that 100% of the money goes to support the cause rather than the 5-30% most fundraisers provide.

True, o_mom. They might not have been able to participate in the fundraiser.

As to your second point, I agree that some people say that they'd rather give a straight up donation. Granted, I think some people say that about a fundraiser their own child is doing. I guess I just like the option of purchasing stuff from other people's kids! And if you choose to give money instead of getting a product, that's a choice that the purchaser/customer can make.

[Corie]

I think it's kind of crazy asking other people to pay for your DC's extracurricular activities!!

I completely agree!!! If I couldn't afford to pay for my own kids' extracurricular activities, then my kids wouldn't play. I sure
as heck wouldn't ask others for money to cover the cost!

[khm]

We sent their kids $ for their birthdays but they don't send our two anything ...not even a card : /

So, they already get gifts, but they don't reciprocate in any way? (I'm not one to tit for tat this stuff, but that's rude.) I'm assuming they don't participate in YOUR fundraisers.

Then, they turn around and ask for straight up cash? Yeah, no. Wouldn't be happening!

I'd politely commiserate re: the cost of extracurriculars and move on. Maybe a "Oh, I'd give you $30, but then I'd just be turning around and asking YOU for $30 when it is time for mine to fundraise for soccer, so we'll call it even."

I'd never in a million years send a text like that for a "typical" season of football. Mayyyyybe for an out of the ordinary experience - be it sports or the arts or whatever. But, this isn't an unforeseen expense, budget for it. It isn't even an insane amount.

I too wonder if they just blew off the fundraising. I get it. I HATE fundraising. I just don't do it, but, I realize it is on me to pony up the cash.

[chlobo]

I would decline and say "sorry, we are living on a budget, you aught to try it."

[Binkandabee]

This is obnoxiously rude. I'd ignore it. People's entitlement NEVER ceases to amaze me. Sheesh!

Why can't he participate in the fundraiser? I see where she's coming from, especially if you usually participate...but still. Selling something and asking for straight out cash feels a lot different to me.

ETA: I hate fundraising....but that is why I paid $100.00 outright rather than agree to sell a certain number of discount cards. That's my choice!

[connor_mommy]

It's rude! I wouldn't donate to a sport that they would be playing for the season or year round. That's an activity they should cover on their own. However, if the money was to cover a trip to a football tournament somewhere, then I would likely donate a small amount. We all have our own kids that we need to pay for their activities.

[Percycat]

I would probably give a donation to the cause and be thankful I didn't get asked to buy cookie dough, but based on the poll options, it sounds like you have already decided the request is out of line and do not want to contribute. I would check with my husband and support his decision.

[carolinacool]

It's rude! I wouldn't donate to a sport that they would be playing for the season or year round. That's an activity they should cover on their own. However, if the money was to cover a trip to a football tournament somewhere, then I would likely donate a small amount. We all have our own kids that we need to pay for their activities.

Exactly! This is the basic expense. My kid isn't in school yet and it's been eons since I was in school, but I didn't know people fund-raised for the basic equipment. That's what band dues/fees (in my case) were for. We saved our fund-raisers for trips to Disney and the like.

I couldn't even fix my mouth--or fingers--to ask people to help cover the basics unless I was in a world of financial troubles.

[logan's mom]

I was sent a few emails and texts about the fundraiser. I think they tried to participate in the fundraiser but no one bought anything or not enough to cover the cost. Each boy (3) needed to sell 20 items. I looked at the fundraiser but there was really nothing I would consider buying and I am working hard on reducing the crap in my house.

We do not participate in fundraisers. We right a check instead but our oldest just finished Kindergarten so we are new to the whole school fundraiser thing. SO they have never been asked to purchase anything from us.

I thought about offering to pitch in as part of their Christmas but I am guessing that by Christmas time I will feel really guilty and still buy them gifts-not the kids fault their parents spend all the money : /

I like the idea of sending them what I would have spent on the fundraiser and being done.
THanks for the all the input!!!!!