Can't You Accept I Don't Want to Go?

[lizzywednesday]

A few months ago, DH decided he wanted to go to see the Foo Fighters concert after the Mets game at Citi Field, but he presented it as "I want to see Foo Fighters at Citi Field and I want you to come with me."

I said no.

I'm not into the Foo Fighters and don't care to see them live.

Apparently, this was a terrible thing. "Why don't you like the Foo Fighters?" (Um, I never said I didn't like them, I just said I wasn't into them. Also, feeling honestly and truly "meh" about a band before you go see them live isn't exactly something that I want to do.)

Now, he's trying to peer-pressure me into attending WrestleMania in Dallas next spring.

I told him I don't f-ing want to go.

He's still pushing for it because, apparently, flights to Dallas are cheap right now.

I don't want to go.

When I told him why not (because I am not really into wrestling right now, also watching with him is impossible because I turn off my filter and he finds it annoying) he told me my reasoning was invalid.

Then he decided it's because I'm holding a grudge about the way he told me off while we watched WM two years ago as a PPV. (TBH, I was annoyed about the way a match had been choreographed, and said so repeatedly, and then I got frustrated with the outcome of one of the headliner matches because I thought it was stupid to resolve the fight the way the script did it. And I said so, repeatedly. This spoiled his live-tweeting enjoyment of the occasion and I stormed off in a huff because he told me I didn't know what I was talking about. OK, so all you want is for me to ooh and aah and be vapid on your arm. So, yes, I didn't behave nicely then, but I didn't need to be told to shut the "f" up, either.)

So, he wants to go to a live event. With me. And I don't want to go. And he won't accept that I don't want to go. I won't enjoy myself because I'll feel like I have to play this stupid part of the vapid arm candy and I don't want to do it.

But, of course, he's asking his Facebook connections to convince me to go.

This is immature and really frigging embarrassing. Is he still in high school???

And it's cementing my decision not to go.

So why can't he accept it?

[boolady]

I think that if you don't want to attend, that's your decision. I understand wanting to share an experience with you, and sometimes go places with my DH that wouldn't be my first choice because we enjoy each others' company. That said, you have specific reasons for not wanting to go, and regardless of how inexpensive the plane tickets to Dallas are, flying from NJ to Dallas for an event and attending a concert you don't want to go to are expensive functions to attend if you're not going to enjoy yourself at all.

I would be very, very upset with my DH if he was posting about this disagreement on facebook and trying to get other people to convince me to attend. This is a strictly personal matter, IMO, and I find this behavior disrespectful and not only embarassing to both of you, but a purposeful attempt to embarass you into changing your mind. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this.

[swissair81]

I'll join you in the dog house. I'm mean and bad because I don't want to spend 3 days in a RV up at Mackinac Island with a newborn (said island does not allow cars) and all my older kids.


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[Green_Tea]

It sounds like your husband wants to do things with you. Do you do lots for other events together? If so, I think it's fine to pass on a few, but if not I think you should at least throw him a bone on the concert.

[lizzywednesday]

It sounds like your husband wants to do things with you. Do you do lots for other events together? If so, I think it's fine to pass on a few, but if not I think you should at least throw him a bone on the concert.

No, we don't do a lot separately OR together because he's been working weekends doing Uber while I'm unemployed. (I have been unemployed for over a year at this point and my prospects feel dimmer every week, which is another set of issues altogether.)

We do go to the movies together. He chooses the movies. (Anything I want to see is usually appropriate to bring DD, so she and I go together.)

The concert is moot; it has already happened.

WrestleMania was a string attached to offering a trip out to Austin to see my BFF and her new baby. That is if I accept the Austin trip, it will automatically include Mania. I am adamant that I don't want to go to Mania.

[boolady]

WrestleMania was a string attached to offering a trip out to Austin to see my BFF and her new baby. That is if I accept the Austin trip, it will automatically include Mania. I am adamant that I don't want to go to Mania.

In light of this, I look at it very differently. I thought he wanted to spend a significant amount of money to fly to TX only to see WrestleMania, but if it is really about you getting to see your best friend and her new baby, then I would do it. If he's offered to fly out there with you to do that, WM is one thing you could do for him. I still wouldn't love taking it to FB, though.

[bisous]

I'm sorry. That is annoying and I wouldn't like that at all. It sounds like WM is not a good dynamic for you two! Can you come up with a better plan that you both like? I totally understand where you are coming from though!

[StantonHyde]

Why in the he!! can't he go to WM by HIMSELF--like a big boy? You could fly out together and you could see your friend and he could go to WM. The two of you could do other things--ride bikes together, go to a movie, take walks, go to dinner. There is a huge long list of things you could do. So why not do something else. I think this whole "strings attached" business is ridiculous and manipulative!

(FTR, I could not be talked into WM for anything. I gladly do things like backpack for a week in the desert--which DH does not want to do.)

[BunnyBee]

Does your friend's DH like Wrestlemania? I do stuff with DH that I'd never do on my own, but Wrestlemania is not anything I could ever sit through. I'm guessing it's a larger communication/relationship issue and he's choosing to fixate on this instead of what's really bothering him.

[lizzywednesday]

Does your friend's DH like Wrestlemania? I do stuff with DH that I'd never do on my own, but Wrestlemania is not anything I could ever sit through. I'm guessing it's a larger communication/relationship issue and he's choosing to fixate on this instead of what's really bothering him.

My BFF's DH is her 2nd marriage; we don't know each other. Not an option.